Box

 I don't want to take down my Christmas tree. It is just to perfect to pack up. I was thinking about what is important in this life and it reminded me of this elderly couple in a second hand store. As the older woman strolled down the isles looking at the old items she said to her husband" when we die this is what happens to our stuff, they box it up and bring it here." I laughed as I thought woe in the end we are a box of second hand store things. What is important ? I guess I have hit those markers, I laughed, cried, traveled, lived and loved. But when its all said and done we are just a box of second hand store items. 

It is a cold January day and I'm feel the wings of freedom. No one to tell me when to wake up and when to go to sleep. But most of all the freedom comes when worry is lifted from the soul. What is to worry about sooner or later we all meet our maker . As I gaze at the Christmas tree and not wanting to take it down. The tree becomes a reminder that no one iw promised tomorrow. 

I sailed the ocean, 

walked  alone in the sand,

felt the warmth that only 

dreams command. 

The visuals delightful 

as if you were here, 

and in this moment

our love we shared.

As long as I can dream

I certainly have everything, 

the memories that touch the heart

from that first magical spark. 

whisp of early morn

Inner Peace...free of fear, worry. 

When emptiness of emotion is filling...

I like colored lights.

Drama everyone else's story.

I indeed hold the pen.

Blowing in the wind.

Sunshine that comes from the soul.

Okay I've said it ...goodbye.

Story

Reading a few biographies it is conclusive that everyone has at least one story. No matter how sensational or mundane, it is their  story with heartache and triumphs of one kind or another.  Depending on the depth of emotion and how much is felt  gives the story their edge. 

I have come to appreciate solitude, there is something peaceful in not having to respond to the drama that other people bring into the framework of life. On a recent cruise people came and went in passing. Like a quick hello and goodbye without the strings of emotion. It make for a joyous occasion. 

I had this dream unusual at it was it was like a comedy that kind of put a death of a dear friend to rest. In the dream my brother in law was in prison and one of the guards helped him break out. I had him dress as a woman as we were on the run in the dream. I felt a sense of peace seeing him as he was big part of my life as everyone I had known had passed away. Tears fall as I think of all the goodbyes. I wondered to myself what is my story? What did I overcome, what were my trials and triumphs?  I must have an overworked guardian angel as I think of all the people who took my hand if only for a little while. My earliest memories have always been distant, like a gray day where you can't see clearly. But the first one that comes to mind is my mother saying"don't leave the yard." Ah.. the big back yard I can't remember how old I was when I realized there was more to the world than that "Big back Yard." I tried to think in depth what came next from that moment,not what I was told but what I could truly remember. There is a gap of those first 6 years that I really can't fill in. It is not like I haven't tried, they just have always been blank.  From the age of six to nine I can count six places that I lived and as many schools. Each location comes with a glimpse of childhood. I can see the outside of each building but I can't open the door with my mind and enter the building. All of the memories from that time are outside of each house. I was the proverbial new girl in school. " Meet Rachel our new girl."

I guess I managed to get use to people in passing, they have been that way since I can remember.

I have been working on my family tree for sometime now but what really was interesting was the historical  newspapers that you can find online. Some of the articles actually were documentations of my childhood. It was uncanny as I felt distant and close to the stories. As if the articles were about someone else.  Missing chapters of a life, maybe I blocked those chapters out for a reason. That is my survival. It is like having the ability to rewrite the story or atleast turn the page. 

Another Chapter

 If all there is but just one more day

I'd spend each moment with you,

the irony is in how short life is

and the simplicity of heavens blue.

I'm celebrating each season 

as only lovers can really do, 

I don't know what you're thinking

I know there is only one love true.

The warmth and kindness 

has never left this heart of mine,

the gift of love renders like 

honey sweetened wine. 

If there's an afterlife 

wouldn't that be amazing too,

for I would dance upon the heavens 

embraced just me and you. 

I looked up at the night sky

and the stars were shining back, 

and that very moment I knew

that they are shining down

wherever you are at.

When I woke up you weren't here 

but your presence I could feel,

as if the dreams of love bring

your heart and soul near.

The sweetness touched my lips,

your embrace held me tight 

and somehow I could feel you 

as that moment was such a delight.

I couldn't help but smile

when the warmth came over me,

and from that very moment I 

was in a state of peace.

I am right with the world

and the Lord above, 

for I have felt your presence

through the magic of love.

Each day is a beginning, 

I don't believe in ends, 

just another chapter 

to rewrite the lose ends. 

Slips Away

 Winter white graces the hills,

 in an uncanny canvas in still.

The rainbow stretched across the sky

a brief vision of nature penned in time.

I gazed on out the window as I've done before,

leaving behind yesterday to see what today has in store.

There is always a little magic that graces the day 

as I reach on out and hold it before it slips away.

Always and ...

 Closing my eyes and seeing you with my mind 

and feeling you with my heart....today and always.

2025

 Close yet far but always alone.

When we are gone we become a box for the donation center.

Everyone has a story.

If you think to hard...

Love and hate are much closer then you think.

...behind a smile.

Turning the page.

Screaming in  silence is comparative to a comediennes tears.

In the end we are not even a whisper in the wind.

Sorrow, when the  goodbye's outweigh the hello's.

If mistakes are a lesson ...I'm still in class.

Heavens High

 Don't waste time yearning

for something that will not be,

all that we know for sure is

that life is quite fleeting.

You can guarantee the stars

will shine down wherever we are,

connecting two souls together

uniting them from afar.

Rainbows fade momentarily

like a blink of the eye,

but our love last forever

it is written in the heavens high.

When our days are long over 

and the memories are passed,

the written words of love 

will be forever cast.