Through the many emotional struggles in life, I cannot not decipher which were the most difficult to overcome. In youth lack of stability had me dancing over hot coals, as I felt lost and displaced and distant from the world around me. Trying to make sense of the domestic battles that appeared on a continuous basis. As if I were in the middle of a war, without a ally. The old adage “ and ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure” was my right of passage that I followed. Be the good little girl, avoid confrontation. Here is where the first lessons in life began. Referred to as extremely sensitive and fragile. I quickly learned to read the eyes of people that crossed my path. Which took me to another old adage “ be aware of your surroundings.” The sense of sight strengthened, where voice had been stifled. The childhood thoughts of running away, found me in hiding whether for a moment or a hour. My escape from my own personal hell.
The years quickly pass by, as I found myself growing in to a young teen, looking for companionship and love and of course the shoulder to lean on. Clinging in a unnatural kind of way. I found myself in a unhealthy relationship. My early childhood years quickly resurfaced, as those lessons of life repeated the trials and errors that continued to show up in my later years. Struggling to get ahead and to find myself, found me with my head barely above the water. I had started on a new path, one that I was unfamiliar with. The road a head filled with challenges and struggles. Wanting to please and to be accepted found me losing sight of who I was and distant of the goals I had so wanted to attain. I can clearly state that this road I was traveling came with a price. Swallowed up by that which I did not understand. Various outer packaging, camouflaged the dysfunction. Extremely lonely I did the next best thing I could, that was to make the best of a bad situation. Tears forever fell behind my eyes. Placing my emotions to the back and accepting the challenges that would now begin.
I was now giving birth to the next generation. Sweeping all of my emotions under the carpet, I replaced the tears, painting the smile of a clown permanently upon my face.

Today the child cries, tears are not of the eyes.
The pain you see is from the heart,
betrayal sent a poison dart.

Learning to accept a day for a day, to climb mountains one at a time. I accepted or shall I say felt the sting of defeat as I lost my Identity and my Independence. One day I looked back to see the curtains open and years of my life pass before me. Each chapter of life came with extremely sensitive lessons of life. At times I felt my insecurities gaining strength as I backed further away, avoiding this life game of chess. I had quickly understood the rollercoaster of life. Taking the good along with the bad,I don’t believe that you can saver those good times completely until you have seen the flip side of life. Simplicity had it found its way . I now saw the beauty in everything around me. Reinforcement that Positive qualities slowly replaced my own self doubts. In some instances fear had forced me to stand ground and accept the battle that circumstances and time had confronted me with. Feeling the threads of love weave through my heart and soul gave me hope and courage to see through today into eye of tomorrow.

The Time is Now!
To stand and fight,
no more fears in the night.
What I have seen my eyes do tell,
what I feel my heart knows well.

Friendship
Distant but remains within in my heart.
Remember this my friend, as love can never part.
Once you found your place, sweetly next to mine.
We accepted the challenge, to see it to the end of time.
~~
When I saw our vulnerability in life and how easily it could be altered, by extenuating circumstances either through our own choices or those of others. I realized how the foundation is weakened

and begins to crumble under the pressures of life.
~~~
The bits of life to which we hold, makes little sense till the story told.
Confused am I on this path, but tear no more I’d rather laugh.
~~~
Celebrate!
The book holds a story of a floatation device,
one that was tossed with love to save
a woman’s life. To document a journey on

this rocky road, and remind us how far

we‘ve come and how far we have to go .
On this day I celebrate the words not of

a book, but the warmth I feel when your
friendship took a second look.
~~~~
He who gives the gift of love, feels the return from his beloved.
~~
If I had but a wish of one to place upon my pillow, it
would be to dance my love with you underneath the willow.
To share the taste of bitter sweet, this life that’s just begun.
Caressing the moments that warm like the early rising sun.
~~~
The voice of silence a sound not make, but in my heart the earth shakes.
Louder and louder from deep within, the sounds of celebration begin.
We have challenged another day and beyond survival we found away.
~~~
Though shall not seek to love, for love has
surfaced from a far to send a friend who rid the scars.
~~~
Tonight the moon shall rise and the stars shall take their rightful place in the heavens

and you my friend will rest in the arms of love.

~~
To once feel love and crave the touch
and allow the dream to send a rush.
To sleep in your arms and
calmly rest with my head
upon your chest.
~~~

Souls frolicking about like butterflies fluttering in a garden.
What a sight to see, heart meshed close with thee.

~
Tighter then a chain link fence, truthful with no pretense.
Tightly woven is the bond, travels near and beyond.
Holds me in the dark of night and gives me thoughts
that still excite.
~~~
The rain falls and a sound it makes,
memories now find a place.