You and I

I took to swimming early today. As I lay upon the raft with my eyes closed , the sound of the water, the warm sun beating down on me took me back in time.  It was as if I was in a swimming pool with hundreds of people. I could hear the children with screams of laughter. The chatter of people at a distance  and most of all I could see my sister Alexis. She loved the water and mostly the sun. I think she had two bikini bathing suits in every color. She taught swimming to children and adults for years and was always happiest around the water. It was strange how the visual and the sounds of a time so long ago became so vivid. I lay there as if I was being transported through my memories.
I have said goodbye to  my siblings one time to many. You never get use to it . My sister Gabriella was the first to pass away. She was not out of her 30's . I shopped for the funeral and purchased a floral outfit in pink. What I remember most was the cold and harness of her flesh and the sense that her spirit was already gone. I held in tears through her funeral until I was home.  After arriving home I opened the door to my walk in closet  and closed the door behind me as I cried in the silence. Sibling after sibling passed away but none of them affected me like the passing of Alexis. No matter how old I became I was always the little sister to her. She always had that way of looking out for me. I would describe her as sister, best friend and a mom. I guess the up side of a cremation over a burial  is that my last memories are of times shared and not of goodbye.
I started writing poetry to ease a pain many years ago but the poetry took on many forms as time went on. Sometimes to fill a void, to soothe the soul, document a moment, celebrate a love. Each poem a thought, moment or day that finds itself in the chapters we call life.   Some chapters are a whole lot nice than others. Especially where you came along. How is it that someone can hold your hand from a distance, lift your soul and embrace in away that can be felt with out physical touch? I really do think you are an angel sent from heaven. There you are in my time of weakness and throughout the journey, strolling along side me. My dearest friend who has long ago left this earth would say " when God closes a door he opens a window."  She was one of those people who you just connect with. I don't think it was what we said that connected us but an unspoken way of understanding.  I understand the opening of windows a lot more since you came along. There is that connection that lifts the spirit and soothes the soul. I guess love really does exist because I love you more than you will ever know.


It must have been the angels
that took me by surprise
and sent one to look after me
from morning through the night.

From the moment I met you,
like the sun rays from the sky
your love shined down upon me
to warm this heart of mine.

The thought of you brings joy
with a love that never dies,
as our souls came together and
bonded one to one for life.

Your sweet good morning
carries me through the day
and in the dark of night
it is your arms I lay.

It must have been the angels
that took me by surprise,
showering the gift of love
over you and I.