All that is...

My temperature is back to normal and I strolled out to the gardens today. One week and the weeds seem to be higher then the flowers. I felt a zest of energy and I really didn't mind working int he garden I actually was enjoying the warmth of the sun.I was amazed how quickly the pain seem to vanish and how wonderful I was feeling, on this high for life. I paid no mind to my surroundings, and carelessly walked into the greenhouse which was invaded by wasp.Unaware of the hives I was caught off guard. the painful sting brought awareness of life and all the vulnerabilities which we will meet with, some definitely bigger then others. Quickly pulverizing some plantain, okay down right chewing the plantain, I placed it on the stings to find to my amazement the swelling quickly began to fade.

I am not sure if it was any particular moment, but I rejoiced in the day. Is life as I expected? I say not, but as I look around at the magic of it all, I find myself ever grateful for all that is. I wanted to hold that moment close as If I could keep it for the latter part of the day when I begin to tire and my confidence begins to sway.

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I have been up long before the sun and have now experienced the first crack of the dawn and the symphony of song birds that have migrated and made their home for the summer. Finishing up some last minute work, I now sit here a little bit to daydream, to wonderful what if, to imagine a world as simplistic as that through the eyes of a ten year old. " leveling the playing field" I thought hmm is that what we have been doing. I imagined just at that moment, what that field several years back felt and look like, first the players were limited to the coach and he didn't allow any players, creating a atmosphere of loneliness. The field had a look of its own, one side of the field was a clear layer of turf, while the other side had mountains, rocky pits, gravel roads and many other stumbling blocks. The mountains of trees seem to reach out and hold all spirit closed in. I looked around I saw the achievements and the lack of them that surrounded me, as if my soul was doing the whispering, " don't let go, don't forget the goal" What was the goal I thought? What is or was my ultimate achievement to be and why? I glanced out the window beside me, at the birds who have become accustomed to the open window and my daily presence. Pondering, I asked myself what is it I seek? My first response to the thoughts that bounced back in forth in my mind, "to control the restlessness, to find the comfort zone that will whisk away all the struggles. "For a brief moment I felt lost as I looked at my life at the puzzle that it is and saw several pieces missing. I wondered was this emptiness that still surfaces every to be filled or would my soul remain lost? Knowledge, my quest to know more, battles with that comfort zone that just wants to be held, to give up the fight.
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Walk not with the cloak of death, but with the zest for life. For darkness can't blind the eyes but it can never block the view from the heart.