I find winter to be at times difficult. Less days of sunshine, icy roads that make getting around difficult and cabin fever.By the way it only takes one day for cabin fever to set in. I looked back to the time of childhood and the love of the season.Spending hours outdoors and waiting for that first snow fall. There was such an excitement, waiting to build a snowman, sledding down the hill , snowball fights and of course it wouldn't be complete without laying under the stars in the newly fallen snow and creating the form of an angel. I can almost smell the freshness of the season. That is until a few days later when the beautiful snow turns to slush. It all in some sense seemed to not be part of the plan, as if with knowledge comes vulnerability. In those days you just did for the sake of doing. Well that is way before we realized the vulnerability awareness that comes with knowledge. One thing is for sure, winter gives you way to much time to think, dream and daydream. .I wondered if the late onset of winter meant that it would carry on beastly like into March and April. I know that I cannot relive yesterday and my today's will never remain the same and though tomorrow approaches it comes with a restless view of a changing time.
For as much dreaming as I do, I see myself as more of a realist. I see the bumps in the road, the path that fate lay and the choices that alter the seemingly crooked and rocky roads. Our inflated dreams of what difference we can make in the world is overshadowed by the reality of our tiny stature in the realm of things. The options are so minimal, our curiosity and survival are in the forefront of our very presence.
One aspect of my life surfaced and it was that neither having poorly touched or not at all were not part of the quintessential dream and yet a necessity. I felt small in my need to survive and tackle all that I have yet to do and at the same time my emotional upheaval encourages a need to retreat.
I touched on a moment,
it made me smile,
gave me a reason,
shortened the miles.
Held it close,
blew it away,
the haunting memories,
the dreams that fade.
~
I want to and I don't...
~
I am trapped,
can't move,
can't run,
can't feel.
~
The Brilliance of the Winter Sky
The evening seems to welcome my nightly dreams,
with a chill to the soul and a bitter awakening.
The stars shine brightly above with flames
that ignite like my heart from your love.
There is something amazing and wonderful,
when I am one with the universe I feel your hold.
Venturing into the winters night sky, in a dance
that closes the distance of your heart and mine.
Tracing the constellations with the mind,
I read the words written for all of time.
The more I gazed, the clearer it all became,
that your soul and mine are one in the same.
~
Vivid is the silhouette upon the night sky,
the display of lovers is a spectacular sight.
Like stardust falls from the sky, I watched
the spirits come together as they gently entwine.
Paramount to the mind, this powerful image
is surely a sign. Dazzling they put on a show,
in remembrance of the love that in our
hearts continues to grow.
Drawn to the image, like a fish to the
sea. It brings us together in a celestial
dream. My heart is always open so
that I will always see, the love
that stirs sweet memories.
~
If you surround your self with death you get death,
with life you get life, with love you get love.
~
The snag is the actions of others...
~
My mind started dancing,
my arms held you tight,
melting warm wishes,
and whispers of delight.
The afternoon sun through
my window pane, snapped
me out of the dream and
a chill of reality remained.
My mind started dancing,
my arms held you tight,
footsteps across the heavens,
I danced with you all night.
