Daddy's Home

I was lying down listing to music and this song came on. It was my very first dance, I was fourteen and I didn't know the boy who asked me to dance. The all girls school  that I attended went to the dances on Friday night at the all boys school. It was a monumental first. I vaguely remember him, he awkwardly walked up to me and asked if he could have this dance. I laugh as I think about actually putting the box step into action. I don't really recall anything particularly special about him nor how he looked or anything such as clothing of course all the boys had on dress pants and a tie. We weren't allowed to close or it would be brought to our attention and so a dance that last maybe two minutes finds its place forever in your memories.  I never saw him again after that first dance and I don't remember his first name but his last name seems seared  to my memory. We didn't talk for that dance and yet  I remember clearly the song that played and that I was really way to young to understand the interaction between the opposite sex. A few short years later I would come to understand the power of hormones and how they cloud all thoughts and limit the postive judgment process.
I use to think that it was important to establish a healthy medium that you had to leave the past behind and move forward. But I have come to learn that it is crucial to accept the experiences as part of our whole being. It is the building blocks of character. Sometimes I wanted to forget the not so pleasant memories but they to are lessons of life that are equally as important as the positive ones. I think our personalities are complex and to deny any part of it, would make us less than complete. I continued to type as my mind scattered like seeds in the wind flew in different directions. The person I am today is formed by the experiences and the achievements that currently placed me on a new road.
Sometimes I find it all very confusing,because I believe my needs are very simple.So before I snuggle up to my pillow I will gather the fondest of memories and allow them to blanket like the warm summer rays and the images of love that I have hungered for such a very long time. Taking a deep breath and slowly exhaling, I begin a short journey through the memories of life.

The river seems wide and the bridges long and I sit by the rocky shore and watch the fish jumping really high . Running and playing, catching a grasshopper or two, just to watch them spit tobacco chew.Some nights were lonely and I thought that I should hide, to see if anyone had me on their mind. From five to ten and I see the world again and this time it takes on a different view as I see the sky in a new kind of blue The years were long and the roads sometimes sorrow paved, except for the one that  led you to me, that is truly my fave. The stars have not shifted the moon still controls the night, there is sunshine every morning and happiness in sight. Love gets better  and better everyday, as it lives within my heart and leads me your way. Dreams are but the tools of my sou as  they know the importance of your most precious hold.



I love you.... with all my being.

If Only in My Mind

 I race each night to close my eyes and
at that moment I begin to dream and there
in the darkness comes to life the joy that
only love can bring.

 I am the queen  of the  moment  and this
is what I see, I'm smack dab in the middle
of summer and your arms are holding me.


No rain drops are falling snowflakes to
freeze the soul, this moment is awfully
special and like threads of gold unspool.

 ~
If i were ten, I'd run and hide
just so that you would capture me
 and if sixteen and by your side ,
I'd blush while kissing.

Reality now speaking and  a adult
 mature and wise, recognizes the
gift of love  the regal  treasure,
that only the Gods can define.

It gives the sky its blue and
makes the grass so green and
when I listen closely it makes
the silence sing.


I always loved gardening whether it is vegetable plants or flowers.From a simple wild daisy to the beauty of a hybrid rose it is magical in a sense to watch a seed reach it is maturity. Sometimes it is simple, my earliest form of escape, connecting with nature and plants both wild and cultivated. There is something truly magical about planting and watching  a flower grow and oh so much to learn. I learned to relate to life to that of a garden. Nothing ever comes from a bad seed and if you nurture the good ones, the blooms at harvest are magnificent. I think in all of life that it is important to sow with love, to nurture peacefully and gently and to appreciate the blooms as the gifts they truly are.
 Several feather friends at the feeder await and as I gaze out the window I know that spring is on its way.  They wait for the sunshine, the season of spring, where they build a nest to create a new life . The flowers are hidden beneath the winter snow and the trees dark and gray will soon gain that spring time glow. I feel the cold that winter sent my way, I see the darkness of another dreary. When I wake up in the morning and I feeling lost and blue, I think of you my darling and how much I love you. There in heavens where the clouds are gathered I meet with you, if only in my mind.

Every fallen tear a story  does it tell, some of heartbreak from the pits of hell. The loneness subsided  and the darkness began to fade as I heard the wind whisper to me your name. I reached out to you, I knew you'd do the same, as I took the moment and I laid claim. Love had surfaced and I'll not dare to deny that you entered my heart and in that there is no shame.

~

I can't redo the yesterdays of old,
nor can I turn  the cobblestone into
 a path of gold.


This much I do know, this much I'll
relay that tomorrow holds the secrets to
 another day.


I can feel you here, I know that you care,
 I can see you in the dark of night and with
my pillow share.

I can taste your lips and the sweetness of your kiss
from my heart to yours there is not one beat
that we'll miss.

~

When I'm feeling lost and  awfully blue, I come here to write, to be closer to you. The monitor lights up the room and your memory makes my heart coo. When I'm feeling lost and blue, I come here to write, to be closer to you. The pool of tears pull me down and in the shadows your spirit is found. Your always there to bring me safely aside and send your kisses to wipe my tear eyes.

~

I refuse to allow hate any place within my being and 

yet my emotions are sometimes confusing. 

Feelings

So Into You-Atlanta Rhythm Section

Gloria Gaynor-I Will Survive [with lyrics]

I'll Do Anything Lyrics

Crave

The river without the water,
the sky void of all the stars
and my life without your love
 would be a lonely heart.


The day without laughter,
the night without your arms,
the road without your hand
 in mine, would break my
heart.

~

So powerful our love as  it can cross the widest sea

and break the barriers of time through the
 imaging of dreams.

 
One can never analyze the words the heart rhymes,
 for they can travel the distance, break down those
 walls of time and hold the memories ever close
 to ease this weary soul of mine.

 If not for the craving to taste the sweetness of your lips, than for your gentle touch which I so desire. The passion shared between two souls which have collided displays love like no other. The magic that fused our hearts also set free our spirit. We are the wind that explores both heaven and earth and the sun whose rays warm to a depth once only imagined. I surrender to your love and allow the embrace of your being to hold me for all eternity. Love me as I love you, passionately and unconditionally here on earth and in the heavens high.