And I love you so By Don Mclean lyrics

At the end of a rainbow - Earl Grant HD]

Deep Breath and Sighs

 My father was a smart man and he gave me the foundation in which I based all of adult life. He was a man of many words and he once said " It is not bad to make a mistake as long as you learn from it and not repeat the same mistake. " I must admit I made my share of mistakes and it took longer to learn from some more than others. I know I've aged when I start repeating some of things he said. " Leopard never changes it's spots." " there is more than one way to skin a cat" " Barking up the wrong tree" " turning a blind eye" they are a few of the many things he quoted as I was growing up. 

Mistakes I sure have made some big ones. But in reality or at the time I made excuses for my choices. I have yet to stop learning. I have met a lot of people in my lifetime and one thing is true, everyone has at least one good story. Our stories might differ but the emotions that tie us together are the same. Love, heartache, disappointment are just a few of the emotions that we share in life. 

I woke up in this dream last night. My mother who had passed sometime ago was there with me.  It started out here in the rural area where I live but somehow switched to walking the streets of the city with her. As we talked she shared her disappointment and in that conversation I related as I now experience some of the same issues. Choices and consequences which lead to disappointments  reveals itself often in this journey called life. I try to dwell on the positive but the negative has a way of squeezing it self through the cracks of the door. Dreams are a mix up time and place. I had this dream of you. It was so clear as if you actually were here. It wasn't like extraordinary in the sense, as  we were just sitting their having a conversation. It brought a sense of peace to me. Like our worlds had really come together and it was not yours and autumn's but ours. 

I have learned a lot throughout the years and I find that I am more capable of tripping over those mistakes in my steps to avoid making the same ones over again. One thing is certain is that we are only responsible for our own actions, our own thoughts and our own choices. Wishing and wanting doesn't make it so, especially when it is one sided. 

The sun rising brings with it a new day,

what in life awaits me in these final chapters of life?

"Don't fall there is no one there to catch you. " Ouch don't I know it.

I guess that was one of your lessons. 

"Don't cry over spilled milk."  I filled my share of buckets. 

"You've made your bed,  now lie in it" Don't I know it.

My mother's famous line. She reminded me that I had to live with my choices.

Loving you has been one of the highlights of my life. Not a fairytale but memorable never the less.

I have been in my head a little to much lately. 

I finally went back to work. I have been a little off my game but was super good to see people 

and function. 

I would stay in bed all day if I knew all my dreams would be of you.

Pulling the blanket a little closer and closing my eyes. 

Even when reality is looking you straight in the eye, there is always that thread of denial.

Sometimes we think we are so smart that we are blinded by the truth.

Wants and needs always meet in that gray area. 

The heart can make a fool out of anyone.

Chapters are written by experience and there is no erasing the pages.

You can't buy friendship, love or happiness. 

Experience reveals that we are all not much different but how we respond to the experience is different.

So close and so far.

I do believe God is there to guide us , if only we listen. 

Sometimes I wish I could tear out a few pages and rewrite a few.

The heart never heals, it remains and open wound.

Wisdom...what comes with time.

Life is lessons, there are a few I don't much appreciate.

Soothing the soul... 

Good or bad depends how you look at it.

On the Mend

 I couldn't speak and I couldn't breathe, 

I slightly trembled falling to my knees, 

Is this the beginning or is this the end,

or maybe a path that is on the mend?

I screamed in silence with no response,

as if the heart was always the pawn,

Easily touched and easily used 

bordering on the abused. 

Had I been here before?

I questioned "what is more?"

couldn't move, couldn't feel, 

this path now meant to heal. 

When Tears Fall

 I felt your love as it took a hold,

and in the night the whispers told,

once where only silence dwelled

the whispers of love cast a spell. 

The stars bright in the cloudless sky

cast a sweet vision of you and I, 

as if my heart dictates the move

the dance charmed from the heavens blue.

Your memory haunts my soul, 

reminder of days of ole, 

where love possibilities reveal, 

that the heart never truly heals.

~

Souls entwined as one,

connected by distant love,

I couldn't breathe as the tears fell, 

I am certain this was my earthly hell.

I tried to change this path called life,

to rid the wrongs and dust with right.

to wash away the chapter of hell,

with tears that I had within held. 

Like rivers wide and rivers deep,

each tear drop cast a memory, 

I couldn't bear to let you go, 

as if your love was on loan. 

~

I still sense your love at night,

giving meaning to this life, 

Your name still lingers in the air,

Like perfume lost, yet always there.

less is spoken and more is said 

of a love story without an end. 

When tears fall and the heart aches,

I relive what time takes, 

days where laughter filled the room 

and where sweet love between two looms/

Your laugh, a tide that pulls me near,

Early morning thoughts..

 The world is perfect and amazing, 

people not so much. 

~

To love is to live, 

or is it to live is to love?

~

I don't cry at what happened 

but what has yet to happen.

~

To think I learned all there is to know 

is to no longer live. 

~

Everyday is one step closer to the inevitable, 

therefore it's good to know I have loved and

have been loved.. 

Paint Has Yet To Dry

I held on to the yesterdays, 

as if it could you bring here. 

No tears or heartache 

only my heart to share. 

Watching a movie

and I began to cry,

did I relate or was it

just about time?

I couldn't control it, 

I thought I could hold on, 

and keep you with me 

like a repeat of a song.

I tried and I tried

didn't want to let go, 

but in the end 

I am here all alone. 

Mistakes were made

choices but a few, 

but I would change them all

if I could be there with you.

Can't hold back the tears

they cleanse the years gone by,

today like a new canvas

where the paint has yet to dry.

Recording of Time

 Just to kiss you good night

would bring the magic to life. 

If only dreams would come true, 

I would be there loving you.

It's a hot summer day and 

I wanted to sleep it away, 

just to dream once more

to see what the heavens 

have in store. 

I think you've drifted away like

the clouds as they finish the rain,

but the sunshine comes thru 

as it reminds me of you. 

There is salmon smoking on the grill

and the air is unusually still, 

as I prepare for dinner time

and pour a glass of wine.

Perfect would be the day

if I shared with you in a way,

the simple pleasures of life

that would make it all seem right.

Can't fight the feelings I have

sometimes happy and sad, 

as if you were close to me 

and disappeared as I wake

from a dream.. 

There's no hello or goodbye, 

just the recording of time.

Life keeps moving on 

like replaying a song.

I reached out to the blue

to try and feel for you,

to bring you close to me

like the haunting of a memory.