I raced to reach beyond the heavens
to find that your love was always right here in my heart.
Have you ever watched a movie over again ? I am amazed how the interpretation can morph each time we view the movie. I imagine that there is several reasons why that happens. One, we are in a different place in time, so hopefully smarter and can view the moment with a more knowledgeable outlook. We also relate to a situation that is parallel to our own and that also changes throughout our life.
I was having Internet problems this morning and I found that to be troubling on different levels. My need to say good morning is overwhelming as is my need to be acknowledged. It is amazing how this connection through technology allows us to broaden our hemisphere and how dependent we have become on it. With no access I decided to put a CD on my laptop and re-watched an old movie. I had seen it before and previously related to the characters in the movie. I found there to be an underlying message one that I refused to accept at one point. The reality of the people who cross our path and the reason behind each one. Sometimes I find that all to be very troubling, it would be easier to hide, to pretend that nothing ever happen. But that would mean to remain stagnant and without growth. Excepting our part is crucial to understanding why we are here and where we are going.
I do believe that we have to follow our gut instinct and listen to that inner intuition that is both natural and important in our choice making decisions. I know I tend to brush aside the negativity and hold on to the positive of life, for me that is a very important as a tool for survival. Yet I know that not allowing the positive and negative to integrate, is basically denial.
It is kind of a cool morning and the clouds are thick and they blanket heavily over the hollow as they block out all rays of sunlight. The house is quiet and I feel as if I am aloof of my surroundings. There is a chill I really can't shake, I feel my body quiver as I try to focus on my goals of the moment. Long term goals are always a little more tricky, because of the vulnerability of ourself and those in the network of life. It's not like when your a child and you think of easily attainable goals, age in itself now plays a part on how much we can achieve and how long we have to do it.
I always believed the less dependent we are on society and government, the happier we are. It is a case of the less is more, I think about that a good bit. Of course ironic as it is we need more to appreciate less. But when I think of my greatest desires, they really are rather simple. I do believe with all my heart, that sharing life with that special someone who loves you above all and whom you love is the greatest of gift. All that sheds itself from such a love is always positive. Whether that be taking a walk, holding hands, watching the rain fall, catching a glimpse of the sunrise or simply sitting down by the stream and watching the water flow. As I write of those moments I can actually feel the warmth of your love as if your arms at this very moment are holding me tight. I feel at times a bit melancholy and so I race ahead of the moment to embrace your love as I have done at this very second. Images flash through my mind and I feel like a woman of many ages as I scan the many dreams that include the magic of life. The visions are a reminder of the importance of giving and receiving love. I think of my desperate attempts to escape from the heaviness that the years have created and again at all we have achieved and the truth of our strength.