Pictorial Prose

Pictorial Prose
Indulging my most lucid daydreams

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

... not just your ordinary dream.

There is nothing I could possibly want
or need that would fill my heart and touch
my soul like that of your love.

I have set my love free,
so that you may feel it in the wind.

The only thing better than falling asleep in your
arms would be to wake up in your arms.

Breathe deeply and feel the infusion of my love...


It is your presence in my life that gives it a direction,
without you I am lost like a ship at sea.

I found myself awakened by a nightmare and I ran if only in thought to the warmth of your embrace. My conscious thoughts immediately consumed the positive energy that comes with loving thoughts of you as a replacement to the darkness that so dared to tightens its grip upon my being. Lost and aloof I wiped the tears as I try to shake the fear that so invaded my subconscious. Memories,actions, thoughts, the what ifs all played havoc with my mind. I tried to file according the emotions and bring some sort of organization to the scattering that was taking place in my mind.

I am tired and though it will be a busy day in town, I am reluctant to get moving this morning. The temperature is a little cooler than it has been over the last few weeks, but the good news is though cooler it is definitely dryer and sunnier. The flycatcher caught my attention as it was sitting on a branch outside my window. Every year the flycatcher nest right by the window, same nest for as long as I have lived here. The sun makes it way through the leaves of the trees to create a speckling like on the low growing green plants that carpets the hills at this time of year. The sun has a way of getting your attention, its work of art through the reflection of light is amazing. I have a mental note of all the things I need to do this morning in preparation for the day and i have chased away almost all of the negatives thoughts that came with the nightmare just a few hours earlier. Of all my thoughts, those which battle most for the attention of my heart are those of sweet memory and my dreams of the future. Just to hold your hand and walk with you, I dream of it night and day is if both were the same. I'm walking through the dreams to get to you, where love is awaiting to make these dreams come true. To hold you close and never let you go, whisper in your ear, how much I love you so. To feel your heart beat tenderly next to mine and know that our love is eternally entwined. I just want to tell you, I need for you to know how much I love you and need you so.
I am trying to get moving,, I know what I need to do, but I find myself caught up in the day dreams of you. I decided I shall not let them go and i'll take you along, I'll hold you in my heart where you know you belong. We'll prepare to make our dreams come true, but first I want to give to you a kiss straight from the blue, as I told those clouds to circle my love overhead of you.

I wanna lay my head upon your chest,
listen to your heart beat and place eternity
to the test. Feel your sweet kisses empower
the moment as it sets me free to love and
to dream.

Chase away the darkness and bring the
warmth of your love, I need you so badly
my dear that I running to your arms to
feel your tenderness through a hug.

I will not allow the dark thoughts to have
a resting place in my mind.
Reaches for your love and feels the ever so
wonderful magic embrace my soul.
I had wondered what it all meant and why the ache could still be felt and it was obvious that I could not shake the hell which was spewed in direction. I try to decipher the meaning of the past experiences and put to the rest the devils hold upon my spirit. Runs fast, races forward, reaches for your hand and finds your heart, reaches for your heart and finds your soul, reaches for your soul and finds your love, reaches for your love and finds home. Hold me tight and don't let go.

I gazed into the heavens and the stars were shining bright and I knew where ever you were you would be able to see and feel the unity of light. Here within my sight and there blanketing over you , far enough and close enough to embrace the souls of two. From the time a child first wondered about the magic of the sky to the woman who knew my stars were yours and yours were mine. It was awfully comfortable, it brought you so very near and as I reached into the darkness and I felt the love we shared. There was no mystery, no story to be told, the words of love recorded were created by you and I to live an eternal moment where dreams fill the sky... I promise to love you in away that spans the galaxy, in the creation of love which lives within our hearts.

I am not sure that I was really all that much of a tomboy, but that I did love picking apples and peaches off the trees as well as gathering wild berries etc. The largest and best fruit is always at the top of the tree and the darkest and largest berries in the middle of a poison Ivy patch. Whether its a bit of a challenge or just the internal drive to have the best fruit, I manage to climb or carefully step where I know I shouldn't. I think how we go through life and handle it is a reflection of our personality. There are those who couldn't bother to even want to gather fresh fruit, surely those who wouldn't climb the tree and still maybe its a little lack of common sense would not step over the poison ivy leaves to gather the berries. As I reached for the berries which will be taken to the market tomorrow, I thought of you and all that has happened over the last few years. Again I thought I am not the gambler, but just like the risk of getting ivy, you do what you think is right.

Reaching through the dreams,
opening the heart as I gaze
unto the heavens and pull
you from afar.

Sweet as the fruit on a
summer day and brighter
than the stars that cast
your love my way.

Reaching through the dreams,
opening the heart as I gaze
unto the heavens and pull
you from afar.

Happiness is a day with you,
as you taught my soul to
enjoy the nightly skies
and the morning blue.

Reaching through the dreams,
opening the heart as I gaze
unto the heavens and pull
you from afar.

I wouldn't say a challenge,
definitely not a dare, but I
surely beckoned the angels
to invited you here.

Reaching through the dreams,
opening the heart as I gave
unto the heavens and pull
you from afar.

My heart I opened and
its here for you each day,
as I will love you forever
in the most exciting way.

Sings> I don't know where I'm going,
I don't know where I'll be,
I don't have the slightest clue
where the next rainbow will
appear to me.

I don't know where I'm going,
I don't now where I'll be,
but as long as I have your love
that is all I'll ever need.

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Playing Our Song...

This is our song and the moment is ours and it is very easy to follow along. Go ahead and take my hand,mmmm very nice pull me real close, closer. Gently places my head on your shoulder and snuggles even closer and like the sixteen year old that is alive in us we sway to the music as our hearts beat ever so rapidly. Lights are out and a dimly lit candle is seen dancing on the wall. This is the easiest part of all close your eyes and set your soul free, I'll meet you in the clouds.


It is odd how your eyes adjust to the darkness and you are able focus and see things much more clearly. That is how it feels when your love is seen by the heart, it all becomes a whole lot clearer how much I need you and how much I want you. For you are the most wonderful person in my life and I live to share each moment with you. Rolling over into your arms and in the most amazing way listening to each beat of your heart. Every minute is that much more beautiful and worthy of being recorded in time, you are the magic of the moment, the dreams that wait to come true, the joy of my life is each moment I spend loving you.


Sings >It's not your embrace or
that smile upon your face,
it's not the look in your eyes o
r all that which is on your mind.

It was from the start the warmness in
your heart, that made me fall in love
and painted the sky a periwinkle blue.

It's not the things you do or
the way ya move, it's not the
dreams we live or the kindness you.

It was from the start the warmness in
your heart, that made me fall in love with you,
and painted the sky a periwinkle blue.

It's not your precious whisper or
the song you sing,it's not the words
of love that blue birds bring.

It was from the start the warmness
in your heart, that made me fall in love
with you and painted the sky a periwinkle blue,

I do, yes I do, I love you. I do, es I do, I
love you. I could shout it to the heavens,
shouts >I love you, I could borrow the wings of
a song bird,> I love you, I could sing it in
the hollow, >I love you, but it wasn't
until our hearts embraced that I knew
you were loving too.

I do, yes I do, I love you. I do,yes I do, I
love you. I could tell it to the blue jay
to fly my love to you, but I rather
whisper in your ear the words I
love you.

I do, yes I do, I love you, I do,yes I do,
I love you, I could dance it in the morning,
and feel your arms so tight, but until
I wake into those arms I'll shout it from
the mountains high. I do, yes I do, I love
you, I do, yes I do, I love you, I do yes
I do, I love you

I wake up every morning to the sweetness of your song and wonder what it's truly like to be in your arms. I wake up every morning loving you and wondering if you are still loving me too. My heart is singing, it sings both day and night, the words of I love you are words I just can't fight. I wake up every morning with you on my mind as I walk on through the dreams that make you mine.
... all a side our love is the greatest of all loves,
for it the most unselfish act that I have embraced.

Did you ever watch a movie and wish it had a different ending? I have done that often. Everyone likes happily ever afters and who wants to walk away from a movie sad?Two movies which I would have changed the ending, one was "My best Friends wedding starring Julia Roberts" and " The million dollar baby starring Clint Eastwood" In my best friends wedding I would have like to have seen Julia Roberts get the guy and in the Million dollar baby movie well that was just the saddest movie ending ever. So anyways it makes you think that life doesn't always turn out like peaches and cream. Back in the eighty's they had these books which were popular as the reader could choose the ending. There was a multiple of choices and if you chose one over the other you could see the final outcome change. In all reality we are the author of our story and we stand at the y in the road and we choose to some degree our final outcome.
Sometimes more times than enough I have not wanted to take a stand and make a choice and so I left those choices up to the other people who were in my life. It seemed as if at times it wouldn't have mattered anyway. Kind of like asking a person where do you want to go for dinner? and you tell them and they say no lets go here. Why ask in the first place if you didn't really want to hear their reply. I use to think in my younger years that I was a salesman's dream. That I would walk into an appliance store knowing what I wanted and walk out with whatever he was selling and than I would be greatly disappointed in my final decision. I have learned more to adhere to my beliefs and decisions, whether they are minor like choosing the new kitchen floor or more major decisions like where I want to be and who I want to be. I still slip up and fall back into old habits, but I have become more aware of the choices that I am capable of making.
How do choices alter the final outcome? There is no doubt as we stand at a major intersection that each road will take you in a different direction but in all reality each road also circles around and can lead us in the exact same direction. I figured in all reality there is simply a time and place for everything. It is about being ready, my mine drifted back to the young woman of nineteen on a path, but not quite really getting a grasp of the direction the path was leading. In many ways I didn't understand that it wasn't always meant to be about the final goal or an ending, it had more to do with how you get there. Enjoying the path you choose to journey, stopping as they say to "smell the roses" and appreciating each moment we get to live. Theoretically it all seems pretty easy, you make a choice and you follow that path where ever that made lead you. But it is not just one decision, there are many along the way. It is kind of knowing wild plants and what each is capable of, as each plant has a scientific property to it that might make it useful as we journey on. I thought life is pretty much the same, some choices toxic and others a little more nourishing. How do we know which ones are which? Sometimes we don't sometimes we make a toxic decision and have to know when to spit it out. The importance is knowing when is the right time and what is nourishing and what is not.
I have to admit as I learned to stand up and stand by my choices, I have learned not only what benefits you at the time, but that which is more nourishing to the heart and soul. That is pretty much what we are doing, feeding or starving the heart and soul. It wasn't until I began to accept who I was and maybe understand who I was that I was able to see the importance of each decision we make. In some off the wall way we are led not only by the choices we make but by those we don't make. This is how we alter the outcome by choosing the time and place. In many ways I believed that each step and each decision leaned one upon the other as a guide to our most destined place, whether that was true or not.
Do I believe in destiny? Do I believe there is a Universal energy field in which our future is predetermined? I believe there is a universal energy source and it is only upon denying or accepting it that we alter the path. What various elements are necessary on the journey does depend on the time and place and of course our readiness to accept the truth of our journey.
I think we are taught to focus on goals whether that is short or long term goals, but in all reality, I believe that our choices should be more focused on the course of a days enjoyment than where we will eventually end up. Almost as if we were map questing life to get the destination and missing out on the importance of the journey itself. It is through our heart and soul that what we need is revealed. Following our dreams is only a part of the journey, identifying the road signs and recognizing the importance of our choices is as crucial as who we allow along side us on this stroll through life.
The more I thought about it the more obvious the answers were. It is about energy, because it takes more than one persons decisions to justify opening the gateway to destiny. We are the finest heart sewn quilt, each person that we interact with becomes a part of the final product. Not one leaning upon the other like in a game of Domino, but many whose decisions also play apart in what direction our souls travel. It is those who were much more weak in character that truly led me to you. It is your strength on this side by side journey that brightens even the darkest of days. Yes I do believe in destiny,love and happiness as each day with you is a happily ever after waiting to happen.

The Magic Of Loving You

The music plays as if you were here ,de de de, de de de, from my heart. a tune that my soul knows belongs to you, as we dance under the stars , you'll hear it to. De de de, de de de from my heart, a tune my soul knows belongs to you, as we dance under the stars, you'll hear it to, de de de , de de de , the music of my heart plays for you.

They say a "busy mind is a healthy mind" but the truth is no matter how busy or not I am, you always seem to be there in the fore front of my thoughts. I was swimming doing laps back and forth across the pool and even though the water was invigorating and I was so enjoying the moment, I couldn't help but imagine swimming into your arms. Whether work or play my mind drifts to a moment with you. So I decided I would embrace those thoughts and document the magic of loving you.

Candlelight dinner or a hot dog for two,
a boat on the river or standing on shore
with you. Day or night all my thoughts
are of you, and how much I love you.

I can't imagine anything more finer,
than holding your hand and making
you mine. The dreams that I have
each night bring the joy of your love
to life.

Sandy beaches or a winter storm,
through all the seasons our love
is at the core. My wants and my
needs are rest assured that you
are the one I will forever adore.

Walking through a forest of green,
or sitting down by the mountain
stream, it matters little what we
do, as long as I'm sharing each
minute with you.

The magic of loving you is obvious it endures and
is more wonderful with each beat of my heart.

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Without Your Love

I've got everything, I have what dreams bring,
I have your love in me, just the way it was mean't to be.

It matters little what a lost soul may believe, for you have been guided and in my heart you shall stay, for I have felt your love from the very first day.

I hear the music and I'm waiting by chance, that you will return and we will dance. I feel the love and I feel the joy of living and loving each day with you.

If the sun loses all energy and no longer blazes high,it will have no affect upon my heart for I will love you beyond the end of time


I was reading passages that I had written over the years, it was obvious that they are the words spoken by my heart and soul. In some ways maybe more then I would like to admit, the prose and poetry are the voice of silence. I'll try to explain what is I have felt and feel the best way I can. In the day to day humdrum moments of life, we go about fulfilling the expectations that others place upon us and sometimes even those that we place on ourself. I use to see it as a responsibility to the web, the web being the network of people who are woven together into a mass. If we cut lose the web and set our soul free, there begins the journey beyond the silence, where both the heart and soul are give the voice to speak through the magic of the written word.
Happiness has always been at the center of the search for the greatest of experiences. In the many interpretations of happiness, you find that as important as it is to achieve it varies from individual to individual. I believe the ultimate experience is one that is shared. The sharing of moment can be so minor and yet bring such joy to the heart and soul. Well I am sure people are thinking that is easy enough! It would be easy if were honest to ourself, truthful and followed that truth, because at there very moment we would of honesty we would be sharing the most delicate of weave that which is stitched into our very being.
As I moved forward one step at a time into the cool pool water, I felt the satisfaction that comes from lowering the body temperature and I felt the sun on my face and I was mesmerized by the movement of water as it reflected off the rays of the sun. It was almost as if everything around me for that moment disappeared and I was one beyond earths hold. That is exactly how I feel when I share a moment with you, everything disappears and you and I become one separate from our surroundings. We endure our earthly experience simply so that we may expand on the secrets of life to achieve and over all willingness to excel beyond our trials to feel that magnificent infusion of love.
Our goal to achieve the ultimate in happiness and to bring the ultimate in happiness to those we love. Breaking through the wall like barriers placed by time, I smiled, giggled till I laughed and felt your love bring to me the pleasure of sharing in our very own happiness. Each day I hunger for more and more of you and dream of spending all of life making you happy. That is all I ever wanted, that is all I need, to kiss you good morning and kiss you good night..."you make me so very happy, I'm so glad you've come into my life"

I Have Your Love

\I have everything imaginable, a treasure deep and wide, I call it the gift of love and it's shared by you and I. Like a thousand rose gardens all blooming at one time, that is the power of love and which our hearts dine. I have the sun shine in the morning, the stars in the night, the magic of you which gives the darkness light. I have the river, the mountains and the sea, I have everything from earth to the heavens as circles back to me. I have everything imaginable, everything a person could dream, because I have your love and your love lives in me.

My Heart Only Sings of You and I

My heart is yours to do as you please and all that I ask is that you don' toss it to the sea.Embrace my love from spring until fall and again from the first snowflake and through the deep winter thaw. La, la, la, la no lullaby, my heart only sings of the love of you and I. La la la la, no lullaby, my heart only sings of the love of you and I.

My heart is yours to do as you dream and all that I ask it that you don't break it please. It's as magical as the castles in the sky where you are the King and I the partner by your side. Dance my love, just dance with me, in our very own castle of make believe. La la la la, no lullaby, my heart only sings of the love of you and I. La la la la , no lullaby, my heart only sings of the love of you and I.

Without your love there is an emptiness that dwells inside and a loneliness that surfaces and I can't possibly hide.The darkness which swallows the sky so blue, as it makes me yearn that much more for you.

Without your love, I am a empty vessel with no where
to go, like a ship lost at sea, alone and in disbelief.
Imagine a butterfly without her wings, as she
spirals helplessly without a voice to sing.

Without your love I am half of what I could be,
a shell without and inside to dream. The days
are long and madness seems to dwell as if
I stand at the gates of hell.

Without your love,nothings really seems to matter,
without the dreams, my heart is all but shattered.
I need you so, more than you will ever know,as
your the sunshine which brightens my day.

Without your love an ache takes a hold of my
heart and I feel as far away as the nightly stars.
I need you here with me, day and night for the
rest of my life to make the moment right.

Without your love there is no meaning to the
day and the dreams happiness begin to fade,
I stand awaiting your most precious love
as if like rain falls from the heavens above.

Without your love I fall into the abyss
and all that can save me is your tender
kiss. So I close my eyes once more and
I feel your love, from the one who I adore.

Without your love,nothing feels right,
as I need what you give just to live,
to feel the joy set free, your love is
what I need.

My dreams are always the same,
I know many think it sounds lame,
but all I live is for your embrace
and to hold you face to face.

My dreams are always the same,
I know many think it sounds lame,
but all I need is your love and to
be the one who holds your heart.

My dreams are always the same,
I now many think it sounds lame,
but if you reach to hold my hand
I guarantee I'll not let go.

My dreams are always the same,
I know many think it sounds lame,
but all I need is just one look into
the those beautiful eyes.

My dreams are always the same,
I know many think it sounds lame,
but this is I need you to know
that I'll always love you so.

My dreams are always the same,
I know many think it sounds lame,
but each moment was meant for
you and I hear on earth and
in the heavens high.


He who cast one shadow of doubt
has yet to feel the power of love.

Friday, June 25, 2010

I Am So Very Tired

One fallen tear awakens the heart with
the dreams of yesterday...hold me my love.

I feel near exhaustion and my heart has slowed to an almost calm, slow like pace, as my soul restless awaits your arms to hold me as I sleep. I can barely stay awake, my eyes are so heavy now and though all I wish to do is gaze into your eyes and see that beautiful smile. I know that I must close them tightly and and in my dreams i'll trace the joy and happiness of your most loving embrace.
The sun has finally settled behind the mountains high and the room is awfully darkened and all I can do is think of you and I. One last glance out the window at the fullness of the moon, so large and wonderful the beams of light literally are shining down upon me and you. This is our moment where our souls brazen unite as one ,so look unto the evening sky and watch our spirits dance, for it was the heavens parting that gave our love a chance. Heart to heart and face to face on the clouds up high, we have broke the barriers to reach our love divine.
This moment is awfully special for the distance begins to fade and one to one our love unites in the most amazing way. My eyes are awfully heavy, I now can barely see and as I take one final look this was I see, the path as it placed, leads me to the dreams. I lay here upon the bed, my head upon the pillow and as I close my eyes to dream, something begins anew . It is very different,the ultimate infusion or is that I am simply under some off the wall delusion. Energy they call it, magic say's a few, but you and I know the truth it's our love above the blue.
Pure and unadulterated the moment is now hours, so hold on tight and don't let go, we're jumping mountains, swimming seas and conjuring up a fire. The passion led me to you heart, your heart gently embraced and now I lay within your arms in this most glorious and wondrous way.

Goodnight my love...

From the darkness a light,
from your heart sweet love,
unto the moment the dreams
are spun.

Spectrum of colors bridge the
sky, connecting the heart, to
the soul and the mind.

On flight to the heavens,
soaring quite high, beyond
the stars to the end of all

The variables of heaven and hell are to be seen,
as I have felt the love touch my heart, yet distance
itself with barriers wider then the seven seas.

I called out your name,
I beg hear my plea,
diminish the silence,
his love I need.

When the seed of love battles the wind
to infuse upon the moment my heart felt
dreams of you, then all will be as it should,
for you will embraced the truth, and the
truth is I...

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Rachel Charlotte Miller

Trapped in a maze which way do I go?Lead with the heart and the soul shall follow as our love embraces from the highest plateau. Beyond the heavens of the celestial sky and further then any dreams of the mind.

There is a kind of magic when a soul to souls unites
and its flame is seen from the heart in the
darkness of the night.

Friendship,love, in love, passion, happiness and dreams these are a few of the emotions within the heart that have been stroked over the years. In all reality love is unique in that it only exist when you are able to share everything from a brief good morning or good night to a walk in the park, a day at the beach, dinner, a sweet embrace, gazing into the clouds, sitting down by the water and watching the fish jump, strolling through the gardens, working together and well to many minutes in a day to list them all. Rounding it off it is simply just the sharing of life and that includes the heart and the souls view of the trials and triumphs that time offers us.
There is such and energy that is transferred from one person to the next, so much so I am not sure that many people even realize how much they are fueling the fire within each soul that they come in contact with. We call them memories, that which becomes a part of our thoughts and our very being. It is why a particular song or word can trigger and bring a memory to the forefront of thought.
In many ways I believe before we make decisions and ponder as we gather information as to what the outcome will be. Everything we say and do affects those who we come in contact with. Being responsible for our actions is important but our loyalty to some degree should lie with our own happiness. I find it difficult to balance not just the emotions and thoughts of the inner spirit but also our outer being with the world around us. Who am I ? Where do I belong in the intricate network in which the world exist? In all reality the moment shifts with each person we come in contact with. I can't quite explain it, other than feeling as if I were trapped in the abyss without any real direction.
I do believe we have expectations about business and our personal life and at times we deny that it exist. Some would say it is a goal but I think falls short of actually being a goal and becomes more of a restless search for happiness, acceptance and a place where we feel as one. I have always believed that we are different to different people and my search is not for what people believe I am, but what I am truly in the spiritual sense.
My needs are like those of everyone to love and to be loved, to follow the path of be it destiny, opportunity or choice. To live in love with happiness at the doorway to the heart. There was a time that I saw the path and its destination and I understood it all and now it is completely confusing.

I know what my heart wants and my soul needs
and yet the path to both is overgrown with brier.

Each thorn that pierces reveals the difficulty of
traveling without first listening to the heart.


...only trouble is, gee whiz I'm dreaming my life away.

Close your eyes and believe
and most certainly you will
see, that love is the reality
that brings you to me.

The dreams are but a
gateway to lead your
soul to mine and take us
to places we have yet to

Close your eyes and believe
and most certainly you will
see, that love is the reality
that brings you to me.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Early in the Morning

You have reached a depth within my heart that I
didn't know was possible and brought a love to
my life that was once unimaginable.
With your love there is no conquest
only the fulfillment that my soul embraces.

How can one rejoice in such silence,
when the heart sings with such passion.

My grandfather had passed on long before I was born and though I had never met him the many stories I have heard of his love for music, especially the violin have lived on in many of his grand and great grandchildren. There was a mixture of music from our Uncle who played in many bands in the big band era, to my grandfathers love for the classical, to my mom who adored the Opera. But what I remember most was the music my sister would play, the unacceptable form of hand picking her violin. The style of music would bring joy and laughter to the moment as we would dance and sing as she turned the violin into an instrument for her own personal style of folk music. There is something about folk music as it always seems so very upbeat, the story telling, the earthy music and the dance that still to this day brings a joyful round of memories.
I find myself at times dancing about the rooms singing silly songs that I create with the moment. It allows me to hold close the fondest of memories. My sister passed away many years ago, I think she would be happy knowing all the good memories that we carry with us. Her love for life was felt through her song and seen in the sparkle of her eyes. The silliest of songs stay with you at times from teaching us the "I know a wheenie man who owns a wheenie stand", to the song about the train, that was rather simplistic. Her gift to sing could cradle you safely in the night and it brought such joy in the day. Oh we were sisters, she did love to tease, but all in all I have great simple memories that are expressed in all that I am and all that I do.

Picking that fiddle and singing that song > Early in the morning before the sun begins to rise, I wake from the dreams of you and I...

Early in the morning
before the sun begins to rise,
I wake from the dreams of you and I. The rooster
starts a crowing, the blue bird sings his song
and I find I'm still dancing in my lovers arms.

Early in the morning before the sun begins to rise,
I wake from the dreams of you and I. The dark
spell is broken as daylight we begin to see,
cresting over the hills to shine above the trees.

Early in the morning before the sun begins to rise,
I wake from the dreams of you and I. I can feel
your love, which is now a part of me as it flows
like a raging river racing to meet the sea.

Early in the morning before the sun begins to rise,
I wake from the dreams of you and I. Looking
forward to the moments I share with you, as
my heart knows just what love would do.

Early in the morning before the sun begins to rise,
I wake from the dreams of you and I. Passion met
with desire, creates the wondrous hours,where your
soul and mine display the magic like a wild fire.

Early in the morning before the sun begins to rise,
I wake from the dreams of you and I. My heart
indeed had spoken and my soul listened quite
well as we begin each day in a lovers tale.

Early in the morning before the sun begins to rise,
I wake from the dreams of you and I. The dreams
where we are embracing suddenly disappeared, and
yet I felt your memory like a breath of summer air.

Early in the morning before the sun begins to rise,
I wake from the dreams of you and I. I go about
my day so very deep in thought of you and
wondering if it is me you are thinking of too.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Hold Still This Moment

I went outside to work in the gardens and transplant some maiden fern as I prepare for the farmers market. The heavy rain showers have brought on a high humidity and those sauna like temperatures have you quickly seeking the shade of the apple trees. That sounds nice but I think I am more desperate and soon will dart for the bedroom where I can lay in front of the fan and lower my body temp. Ahhhhhh by all means it is officially summer and you won't find me complaining about the beauty of the sun as it burns off the excess moisture added with the usual dew found each morning.
I went about the gardens going over the plants from the most common to the more exotic florals and ferns that I have growing about and I wish the summer season would last a lot longer than the few short months. Like the plants we thrive on the necessary sun light as well a good balance of water and the nourishment that fuels our being both mentally and physically.
It has been a long day and I finished gathering berries and bundling the asparagus and as I sit back and think of importance of you in my life, I feel a true sense of contentment. Call it the Que sa ra sa ra, kind of moment, whatever will be, will be.

My head upon your chest listening to you heart,
the moment so empowering a dream from a far.
Hold still the moment, forever will I be in the
arms of love when you are here with me.

If the Lord is listening, he will keep you safe and
allow for us to grow old, as I believe it's fate.
I love you madly, more then I can say and I
will love you my darling till time all fades away.

and I love you so...prose, the rambling of my heart.


Pulls you close for our dance on the beach. The wind blows in away that tempts the heart and teases the soul. Candles lit upon the shore as the rage of the waves roll closer creating the moment and capturing the magic which holds still our love. I feel the intensity of your most gentle and loving heart embrace my being as never before. My head tilts back into your hands as I gaze into the beauty of your eyes and peer into the depth of your soul. Interlocked heart with heart and soul with soul as the merging of flesh empowers the dreams.
The song of the gulls accompanied by the music of the sea performs in away which invites our love to unite in away which becomes one with the moment. No distance between us, no heaven nor hell, I am in your arms and only love mysteriously dwells. With each breath that we share in the kiss of desire we become one with the water and one with the fire. Beyond the heart and deep in the soul the connection was made beyond this mortal hold.
Something is happening, I just can't explain but it morphs my whole being and redirects in various ways. I'm holding and embracing I'll never let go, I want you so badly I just need you to know. I've talked with the sun, I whispered your name and I begged the wind to do just the same. Written in the heart with indelible ink,the words of my love shall never fade nor bleed. Time is passing and there is much to do, but like the dance at the sea it will always be with you. Love only gets stronger more powerful with each day as it takes over my thoughts to bring you my way.
We are here on the beach can you hear the waves roll and the wind at your face and the sand at your feet? We are here in the moment, can you hear my love call , my very heart beat, the embrace of my soul in a whispering sweet? Try it! Just do it! Close your eyes now! My arms are open and I am here with a smile, I am waiting, I needing and I'm love you now, just let it all go and break down those miles. We are here at the beach, your heart to mine, as our souls are enraptured with this moment in time. We are here, yes I am with you, from morning till night, to watch as the sun rises and again as the stars take to the sky. Close your eyes, yes feel me, just don't let me go I want you so badly and I am needing you so.

Monday, June 21, 2010

Always On My Mind

Only you...

It has been said that we " reap what we sow." It is not enough to plant seeds of love, we must nurture , cultivate and provide the necessary foundation in which love will grow and flourish. With one seed of thought we can alter a moment and provide the stimulation necessary to encourage the positive and thus induce the power of love.

Your heart provided the necessary seeds
and infuses into the soul what we both need.
There is happiness and joy, magic and desire,
the peace of the moment and a day where
passion is set on fire.

I felt your love take a hold ,
entwine like honey suckle growing
wild and free. There is nothing else like it,
it's a viable emotion which encourages
all of my dreams.

From the very first moment you said hello
I felt your love and It made me glow.
I knew you were the one who took
my heart and from the beginning
ignited a spark.

Each moment I spend with you,
is another dream come true.

It is our human weakness that places us above the plants and animals of the earth, our strength is becoming one with the world around us. As I teeter in and out of my wants versus my needs I have to remind myself what it is that is our greater purpose on earth. In my own personal battle to understand the short time we are here on earth, I find that there really isn't a specific set of rules that we are given other than the inconsistent ones made by man, for the ones made by God have long ago been misinterpreted. The many variables are the exact reason the world is in such a state of confusion. One look into the sky on a clear evening reminds us that we are very much like the children's story by Dr Seuss ," Horton hears a who" blind to minds eye and minute in the scheme of things. In my most selfish mood, I just want to run into your arms and pleasure the moment. We have been given the ability to recognize and think through almost any situation that would arise and yet we go about creating new problems .
I think of the pureness of a child before they begin to learn the negative things like lying jealousy , greed and hatred. Can you imagine living life in that most pure and unadulterated state and always following the simplicity of the heart to the voice of the soul. Making decisions based on the beauty of love and living and exploring the world around us in a unified way. The child in me hops on an airplane and runs into your arms and gets lost in your kiss. It is true... I live to love you.

I want to share each moment with you,
make all our dreams come true.

I want to love you for the rest of my
days, making you happy and enjoying
life in the most amazing way.

I want to breathe the air you breathe,
to feel your heart to my heart beat.

You Make My Life A Little More...

The sun just shined a little brighter,
the day became a little nicer,
my heart felt a whole lot happier
just dreaming dreams of you.

The hollow a little more wonderful,
each moment a little more sillier,
my life a little more crazier,
just sharing it with you.

The nights a little less lonelier,
the music a little bit louder,
my soul a bit more amazed
just dancing with you.

The spell a little more magical,
the tale a little more practical,
my story a little bit longer,
just writing chapters of love x 2

Only you...

When you hear songs written, it is almost possible to believe that someone else actually felt the undeniable love of all time. The power of love is not in giving or receiving, it is when two come together on the same plateau, with the same passion and desire, when you don't see fireworks in their eyes but the worlds views fireworks in ours. This is where love takes center stage in a love for all time." Only you can make this world seem right, only you can make the darkness bright, only you and you alone can thrill me like you do and fill my heart with love for only you"As time goes on and my love for you continues to empower the moment, I offer you passage and a place into my heart for all time.

Take my hand,
my heart was already yours.

This morning is awfully special, special indeed, it is made of the love that surfaces from the best of you and I.


I fear distance is the tool the devil creates,but love is much more powerful it makes all the barriers fade.

When the darkness of the moment begins to close on in, I think once more of you my love and the brightest from your heart like a thousand suns shine in.

It was a powerful infusion, magical indeed as it sent your love directly to me.

I woke early in the morning and all that I could do,
was gaze into the darkness and think of you.

Soon enough the sun came shining through as
I held to your image and watched the sky turn blue.

sings>Hold me! Oooooh baby just hold me! I need you
so badly and I want you so much. To tease your flesh
and kiss your lips to love you forever in a state of bliss.

I woke early in the morning and all that I could do,
was gaze into the darkness and think of you.

Soon enough the sun came shining through as
I held to your image and watched the sky turn blue.

Sings> No wind through the window and still I feel
a chill, as I reached through the darkness and your
smile surfaced beyond the hills.

I woke early in the morning and all that I could do,
was gaze into the darkness and think of you.

Soon enough the sun came shining through as
I held to your image and watched the sky turn blue.

This is love, the love we share that challenges the
mountains and cannot be compared,

I woke early in the morning and all that I could do,
was gaze into the darkness and think of you.

Song filled my heart as my soul magically spun
around in circles with you my one and only love.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Summer Love

Hold Me Tight

Hold me tight, just a little tighter,
don't let go, the stars are shining brighter.
Hold me tight, just a little tighter,
as the night sky blankets you and I.

Love me more, just a little more,
you're the one I truly adore.
Love me more, just a little more,
I'm holding on as we explore.

Kiss me sweet, just a little sweeter,
mmm a treat in my heart deeper.
Kiss me sweet, just a little sweeter,
wonderful even though I'm a dreamer.

Hold me tight, just a little tighter,
don't let go, the stars are shinning brighter.
Hold on tight, just a little tighter,
as the night sky blankets over you and I.

Restless Summer Nights

I'm caught in the darkness, the sun no longer shines,
I'm missing you so badly, you are all that's on my mind.
I can't help but dream, dream of yesterday, when you
were here and laughter made a play and all we did was
smile the day away.

The curtains are dancing mysteriously with the wind,
warm and yet silent all I hear is the what happens
from within. I'm caught up in the moment and I
beg just once to see, the magic of your love
as I feel you so tenderly.

The sheets are but a tease as the silk rubs against
my thigh and I imagine that your hands are traveling
up and down my side. I can't explain the way my
heart feels but this much I know, it is most certain that
I'll never let you go.

I just wanna whisper of my love
and feel your arms giving me a hug.
I just wanna see into your eyes and
know that you are heart and soul mine.

I just wanna love you for evermore,
like a fairytale and a little bit more.

I just wanna dream the night away
and find that when I wake you never
went away.

I just wanna believe it will be always
you and me, living and loving, like
we were truly meant to be.

Sings>When you....oh baby when you, close your eyes, when you...oh baby when you, close your eyes, Let me fill your heart, with all of my love and send you chills, that say baby oh baby I'm the one you love.
When you... oh baby when you, close your eyes, when you...oh baby when you, close your eyes, you are gonna feel my kisses they're are gonna be hot and they're gonna sizzle, when you close your eyes.

I have always looked at life as this major puzzle and that the pieces that we find along the way snap into place to give us grand visual in a canvas like display. Though when you are not here, it feels as if a few of pieces have become dislodged and that which seemed all together at times feels like a loss and emptiness. That is when I became most aware of your importance not only in my life but emotionally,eternally in my heart and my soul. I find that I try desperately to keep busy only to find myself, writing as if the words brought you closer to me.

The Emptiness of Song

Sings>When I'm missing you and the day seems so very long, I write a few words of love to erase the emptiness of song. Words of passion and the hearts desire and some are of our happiness of which you my love inspire. I tossed in my hopes and many of my dreams and when I gathered them all together I felt my spirit sing. When I'm missing you and the day seems so very long, I write a few words of love to erase the emptiness of song.

There is a bit of irony to the time and place when souls meet and hearts come together... I am grateful that like the wind which brushes up against my very being your love reached out and our souls merged as one.

I am reminded why each day in which I write my declaration of love through documenting a moment in time. I do so and as our times comes like a tree in the wind which no longer stands to battle the seasons, that the undeniable words of love will find their place where bodies no longer tread but souls reign. This is my gift for I love and I am loved.

Every morning I wake up to this empty bed and wonder what you are doing and if you are sleeping in. I roll onto the pillow and day dream again begin and of course you were cast my love and my very best friend. My hands were reaching they begged to feel you near, to gently massage as if I were massaging from within. If this be love, don't pinch me quite yet, for I'm afraid if I wake up and I find you're not there, I'd have to go to sleep again just to dream once more you here.

...from the heart.

Somethings can be heard without uttering one word,
felt without ever having the flesh come together,
seen without ever opening the eyes...that's because
love speak loudest from the heart, embraces the soul
and is seen through all that we are and all that we do.


Capturing the magic of a moment. There are chores you put off and sometimes it's just the ones you don't enjoy as much. But this morning as I went about work, the sun glistened through the window, the song birds sang their summer tune and I held you in my heart.

I hold you close both night and day,
you are in my heart to stay. Your
love like magic through the air,
brings little reminders of how
much you really care.

Dreams supersede to bring your
warmth here to me, love and
laughter, happily ever after,
all captured in a day with you,
that is how dreams come true,
when you dance with me under
skies blue.

There is a true magic that can be felt
when all that fills the heart is love.

To erase the heaviness all
I have to do is think of you.


So beautiful a summer day, when the sunshines down and replaces any shades of gray. The hills take on a different hue as they light up in their summer time do. I feel like dancing amongst the roses in bloom, with candles lit upon the grass as I hold on to you. Imagining the touch of your most tender embrace, causes me to quiver at gazing in your eyes while we are face to face. My heart beats as if it were in a race and I were the first one to cross the line and kiss your face. My soul cries out to you, to make this beautiful summer day dream come true.

Complicating perfection is what we do, because nothing is better than to be with you. Living and loving in the dreams where you are mine as we battle the moment to stop those hands of time. I love you more are words I have said before, I need you is a fact that I daily record, my soul begs to finalize this most gentle embrace by placing your heart in mine in our special place. Love is as real as real as it can be, it directed me to you and you to me.

Romance is when the mind pleasures the heart
in an invitation to passionately embrace the soul.

The passion that you display is something wonderful I feel each day. Created by desire, a reminder that quickly showers your love unto me. Rose petals tossed into the air and where they fall is where you and I will share. Lay your body right here , lay it next to mine and feel my heart beat as we going chasing time. Love unlocked the garden gates and when we passed on through and this where we challenge day both sun filled and blue. Tears flowing and I can't shelter my heart, it begs for you my darling, it begged from the very start. The silence is broken by my souls need shouting for you to hear and share this moment with me.

Feel my love, my love I give you,
taste my love I leave sweet upon
your lips.

Gaze unto the heavens and you'll see,
pirouetting the spun embrace of lovers,
your soul and mine as love would have
it be.

Feel my love, my love I give to you,
taste my love I leave sweet upon
your lips.

Remember this when we are apart,
that only he bodily is separated but
not our hearts.

Feel my love, my love I give to you,
taste my love I leave sweet upon
your lips.


Friday, June 18, 2010

Thank You

It is a standing joke about whether my name is Rachel or aka Autumn. One of my customers emailed me today and they said," I don't know what to call you Rachel or Autumn?" There is always conversation about where Autumn came from. In many ways I think we all have a depth to our personality that is not always seen, in some ways Rachel can be shy and feel awkward in situations and being Autumn allows me to be stronger in some ways, especially when it comes to speaking in front of people and crowds. I think at times if life were not based on survival the outcome would be very different. Sometimes I think to myself do I know who I am?
One of my dearest friends tried to explain the difference in people's personalities, almost in a way that he wanted me to protect myself. He said "everyone is capable of many things both good and bad, usually what you see is what people want you to see and than he went on to tell me how he slaughtered hogs " ugh. That is a pretty scary thought, that people are portraying the traits in which they wish to reveal. I laughed and I tried to refrain from thinking of the moving Sybil that came out in 1976,which was about a woman who through trauma had survived with many personalities. All in all I think we all have a blend of positive and even negative traits. I always thought of myself as kind of a people person and not. I believe there is a balance that is necessary for me between nature and the joy of meeting people. In many instances, especially when I arrive home, I have learned to enjoy my day off,gather my composure and recuperate from the let down that comes with being out of adrenaline. The very adrenaline and excitement that gets me through a trade show or event. Learning who we are and what we can achieve and even what we should achieve takes some doing.
There are many people who seem to right from get go know where there life is going. For me it took many years to find the path I am on and even then I still find new and exciting things to explore around each bend. Is it creating an image or is this as my sister always said part of who I always was? In many instances I think she is right, it wasn't until I had been given the opportunity that I have been granted that I was able to expand on the knowledge that I already had. Some people believe that this time of life is not the time for learning, but I think there is no time that we shouldn't be learning. One thing I know from the days of living in a rural area without transportation to my time amongst people is that the more contact you have the more inspirational becomes the moment. I think we need the contact to create our own thoughts and encourage us to step into new territory as we distance ourself from the comfort of what we already know. This is how we learn and how we grow. I thought briefly about my thoughts on the passing of one of the vendors I worked with and it occurred to me, that when our number is up it's up. It's about what we do with the time while we are here. Sometimes I feel like that the responsibility always falls on my lap, but that's okay someone has to do it. As I prepare to arrange a summer outing with my mother, my elder son and his family and my own children, I realize that I am the director for the day of life long memories and well that's okay. I am looking forward to photographing my grand children on the amusement park rides and seeing my mother, for who knows as we all get older how much time we will have here on earth.
Rachel or Autumn? I believe I am one person with weaknesses and strengths and in the process of exploring these individual traits we find that as we grow we will appear different to different people. In many ways I believe the path was placed before us due to circumstances, but I also know each comes with various forms of opportunity. Rachel used nature as an escape, therapy and relaxation, Autumn she loves the attention and she steps away from her responsibilities to allow Rachel to be all she can be. Sounds a bit silly but I believe that everyone can look inside them self and see who they are and who they wish to be.
I did a small oil painting it's not finished yet, I wish it would dry. I am not so much an artist but it has a poem that goes with it and like the words that my fingers so quickly type, it is just another view of the inner workings of my soul. Little preview... I can't count the treasures from the mountains to the sea but a few are so close as the gold fish and the finch who flies so free. Unique and rare are the gifts given to me as I can find them daily and nightly in my dreams.

Thank you for loving me, all of me... when I am laughing, when I am crying, when I am dancing on clouds and when I am running a round like a chicken without its head, ugh. The true treasure is in your unselfish love and the way you accept unconditionally Rachel aka Autumn. I love you more!

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Speak Heart

I equate love with the mysteries of life,
for both reveal the beauty on a long and
wonderful journey.

Sings>I declare, yes I do, I declare that I love you!
The words but a vessel aimed at the heart, on the
path of destiny where love gets a start.

I declare, yes I do, I declare that I love you!
A dream in motion when you cast the spell
and from the heavens your magic fell.

I declare, yes I do, I declare that I love you!
From the moment my heart skipped a beat,
I knew that I succumbed to defeat.

I declare, yes I do, I declare that I love you!
I declare, yes I do, I declare that I love you!

I don't know and they didn't say but it just happened one day,
you made me fall in love with you. I don't know and they
didn't say, but something happened in a loving way and
there I have been in your arms ,fallen under the spell of
your magical charm. I don't know and they didn't say,
but you tickled me in a loving way and that is when
I fell in love with you and that is when I fell in love
with you.

I never imagined that I could be so loved and than I met you, I never thought in a million years someone could care for me so wonderfully, until I stumbled into your arms. I never realized how much passion could flow from the soul to create such desire until I felt the hunger to touch what was distanced by earthly barriers. It wasn't until I saw your needs that I understood my own.
I honestly believe that we don't need to feel heartache to appreciate the beauty of true love, but like honey to tea, the pleasure comes as we infuse the joy of life from the one heart into another.

I gazed into the heavens, the stars were shining bright and I knew that where you were standing you could see the same twinkle of light. The sequence in the heavens, the brightness of the stars and no matter the distance, I could feel each beat of your heart. I gazed into the evening sky and to the moon a plea, "that the sky which blankets over you, will be the one that blankets over me." No mountains to exist between us, no rivers can't part the way, no roads or walls or barriers tall can make our love ever fade. For I am right beside you, I'm in your arms tonight and when you close your eyes my love, it is I who will kiss your lips good night.


... and my heart spoke. " So wonderful is his love, so gentle his embrace and when you close
your eyes tonight the distance once again shall fade. " Calming was the thought, soothing to the soul and as I began to close my eyes, once again the memories began to unfold. I asked with out hesitation, " who will hold me tight?" and again my heart had spoken, " his love will hold you in the night" Restless was the moment, the darkness in control and as the stars took to the sky I begged to feel his hold. Again the heart had spoken, " let passion lead the way and when you feel your souls collide and to the heavens soar, you will know that you have graced the gates beyond forevermore."

Poetry and Prose of my Heart

As basic as our need for food and shelter is our need to be loved. How one receives and expresses love is as diverse and unique as each individual. As I went about feeling jars with homemade rose petal scrub my mind seemed preoccupied with my own experiences with the emotions that are brought on my sharing a moment of passion. There were many images that cast scenes that were deeply infused with the power of love, Your hands on top of mine as I do the dishes, your arms around me as I feel the jars, turning around and looking into your eyes as our lips meet up for a kiss. The quick glimpse at the inner working of love in motion reveals how love for one another can be felt and shared throughout the day.
Love is appreciating not only the traits in which a person has in common but admiring the differences that provide us with a glimpse of individual strengths. Sharing in a moment that creates a true atmosphere of happiness. I do believe that as children we are taught the first basic steps in how to share or not moments of affection. A simple hug, a tender kiss, acknowledgment by reinforcing our love for one another. The ways to express our needs vary and how we communicate opens doorways to not only accepting such love but returning our love.
There is an energy, I normally refer to it as a connection, but all in all, it is not something we actually do or say, but something we feel. It is at the very center of our core as a human being and is revealed to us when we can be ourselves and find the ultimate in acceptance. It is the time when you don't have to think about what your saying and there are no such thing as mistakes,just lessons of life.

When I wake up in the morning you're the first thing on my mind,
wanting to kiss you and embrace your heart with mine. Living and
loving the way its meant to be, wanting to please you that is what
I dream.
When I go about my work, I wonder how you are. My mind can't
stay busy enough and so it's drift to happier times. Sharing a
smile, singing a song or two, dancing under blue skies and
simply loving you.
When I prepare to meet the stars of night, I thank the Lord for
the chance where the road crossed and we collided you and I.
You make this life worth living and when I close my eyes at
night, the dreams all begin again.
Every now and then I think about the various combinations of the limited words of the human speech. Interchangeable expressions of the experiences of love. I am ever so reminded why I record our love and the deeper meaning of the moment surfaces. Unselfish, warm, kind, passionate filled desire rise to the occasion . You not only have a place in my heart, but you are the moment, the magic that draws on the passion and that is why I love you so.

I celebrate each moment that I share with you,
each one like a glimpse of my fondest dreams
come true.

May you feel the passion empower your soul,
in a heavenly expression of our most tender hold.

I gathered in a collection the images of love,
those that I am most fond of, were sent down
from the clouds above.

The magical embrace, a sweetness that I can taste,
a joy for the living, where the heart is always giving.

Dancing like a child circling in the wind, hands in the
air and to your arms I quickly spin.

Round and round I go, feeling dizzy I won't let go,
the love that we share places happiness everywhere.

I want to love you, to feel your breath against my cheek
and allow the necessary moment where our souls can be,
like the magic of our dreams, soaring high above the
mountains and the sea.

I want to love you, to love you in away that says forever
more and where our bodies are there to be explored. To
place the kisses of my love on you, to welcome the
moment as a dream come true.

I want to love you, feel your hand interlocked with mine,
a tender expression of the mind. Where the world stands
still just to get a view of a love that is ever so true.

I want to love you, as we exchange the breath of life and
feel our hearts beat one to one with time. In a day that
last forever, in a day of just you and I.

I want to love you, love you, love you more and more
with each day, to feel that tenderness that I have
come to know like a hug that just wont let go.

Through the gates of the garden to where the lily's are in bloom, I'll wait for you my darling till the sky is filled with the stars and the moon. La de dum, la de da, no words do I need la de dum, la de da, I love you, La de dum, la de da, my heart sings. La de dum, la de da, of my love for you.

Sing a song of love, sing of you and I,
I'm singing under the blue sky.

Sing a song of magic, the dance in
heavens high, I singing under the
blue sky.

With you I climbed a mountain high,
swam to your side, to find you waiting
there for me.

Images flood the mind, it is no surprise,
how happiness has found its way, into
our hearts to stay.


...and loving you.

I find myself drifting, drifting to the blue,
wondering what you are doing and loving you.

Spider Lily

Unique is our bond, a treasure indeed,
when you said hello and met up with me.
In the garden of love we see that
the blooms continue throughout the year.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

The Rainbow Express

Life is but a rainbow with many colors to see,
and each reveals in varied hues of what you mean to me.

Yellow like a sunburst that warms my very soul,
and red for the passion that quickly took a hold.

Blue are the skies,white the clouds we dance
and orange like in autumn that deserves a second glance.

Green for life, for with you I have grown and
purple like a violet where you desire to have it so.

Life is but a rainbow with many colors to see,
and each reveals in varied hues of what you mean to me.

I am not quite sure why particular people or a situation seems to stay in the forefront of our memories. I didn't realize how long I have been selling poetry or how many events or trade shows I have completed. I don't really think about it except for this one man who I met years back at the labor day event. It was one of those shows where there is no hotel or camping and it's a two day event. So I would stay in the car overnight. There was an older couple who built a train to drive the children around in. They were the only other people who stayed overnight, they made up a make shift tent, where they would cook coffee etc. It''s awkward as we shared in breakfast once a year and he always had a warm smile on his face. In many ways I looked forward to seeing him. He enjoyed what he did, he loved the children and he was happy. In conversation I knew that he was battling cancer, but he was living as they say" life to its fullest." Last Union United Labor Day event, he wasn't there. Someone else was hired to take his place. I asked what happen and they said" he passed away". Ironically it bothered me more than many of my family members who passed away. I think it had a lot to do with the impact he had on people and yet after he was gone life goes on as usual. He has been on my mind way to much, I actually don't look forward to doing the event this year,it is like I expect to see him and his wife there. They were so much a part of the event. There was a warmth to them, they raised their own children and opened the door to many foster children, they were of a unique breed in that they lived truly a life of love and you could feel it from them.
Each car in the train was painted a different color, I like colors you know. There are many people who cross my path and a few find a place in your heart, even when you don't realize it. Every time I look at the schedule for September they are the first of my thoughts. I find it very sad and touching and yet I know I have to let it go. I don't know why it is so difficult and why this particular couple stays in the forefront of my memories. In some ways I thought it was a reminder of how short life is and how very little time we have to complete our goals on earth. I keep thinking there is so much to do, so much I want to do! Yet there are such the restraints upon the moment. Does the struggles ever pave way for a sense of peace or is each day just another step leading to the inevitable?

When the sun goes down each evening,
will you remember the sun lit day,
the laughter of the moment and the
the smiles we share each day?

When the day comes to and end and
no tomorrows are in sight, will you
remember how much I love you
and that your in my heart for life?

When the dreams of life are met
and the stars fade away, will
you remember that it was
you and I who put the spark
in the day?

It's not a shopping list but one I write each
day as a reminder of my goal to hold your
hand someday. to kiss you in the morning,
to hold you in the night, to walk those sandy
beaches. to lay upon the shore, to look into
the eyes of the one that I adore.

How is it we can laugh and cry at the same time?

Tomorrow is a very special day, but than
again everyday is a celebration when I am sharing it with you.