Pictorial Prose

Pictorial Prose
Indulging my most lucid daydreams

Wednesday, June 09, 2010

So Softly are the whispers of love

I have been up since the early AM, four to be exact. I am not to the point of exhaustion and I shy away from the word bored because there are certainly a lot of things I could be doing the day before an event. Let's just say I am really missing you... and in that case I tend to ramble. I thought well I could lay here close my eyes and daydream of you, walk in the garden and wish you were here, go down to the greenhouse and work on the flowers, write a song about how much I love you, lol clean house now that sounds like fun, well it would be if you were here. Is it possible to love more with each beat of my heart?I have to say between the package of chicken noodle soup or the box of Jello or the fattening Carmel, I don't know which one meant more. Chicken soup represents the warmth of your spirit, the Jello the humor and magic within. the Carmel represented how much one person thinks about another and all the rest is merely as they say frosting on the cake. Decisions, decisions, I'll meet you in the garden.

The direction of thought was redirected when I read an article on the depreciation of homes by the well known or famous people of our time. I found it incredible that people are people until like a sheep herder tending his or flock, people like sheep begin to follow. It made me think what makes a person great, when stripped of clothing we are but a biological science project.
I was thinking of redecorating my bedroom, defining it and making it take on a new look that was better suited to my whimsical desires. As I thought about what it is I wanted to change, my mind couldn't help but think of the days of Caesar and when lands were ruled by Kings and Queens. I thought there had to have been a start to the madness. Was it aggression that made rulers or ignorance? There are many people who I meet each week, those who scale all walks of life. I look at each person as a potential sale and treat each person accordingly. I find that the old adage" you can't judge a book by its cover " to be so true, that sometimes it is the person you least expect that brings to you the greatest gifts life has to offer.
We lost our coordinator at the farmers market and it wasn't till she was gone, that we realized all the hard work she put into making the market a profitable place of sales. Dialog began amongst the vendors and again I was confronted with how people identify or not with a person and how they perceive their worth. Comments were exchanged and it became obvious to me, that those who are empowered who believe they are great are only their by those who believe they are not. Wow! I thought to myself that is sure a waste of gifts and I remember teaching my own children about their own individual self worth. That each of them are given a gift and it is up to them to use it or not to benefit themselves and mankind.
I thought about the materialism that people are so fond of. Yes it is nice to have pretty things who judges what is pretty? I again thought what was it that was so important and than I thought of love. Love is truly undefined,because its span is wide and it takes in so much to so many people. Love is the most precious gem in the treasure of life and it is so powerful, it can bring smiles, laughter, happiness and it can master the moment in away that has yet not been described.
If this be our treasure than surely you're the King and because I love you so there is no doubt that I am your Queen. We will battle the moment, challenge those mountains high, for we have the greatest treasure it is the love of you and I. If believing makes you powerful, then powerful you are for I have given you my heart and you returned to me the stars. If dreams are but a gateway for our souls to timely pass, than we have succeeded on this journey where heart to heart we laugh. When the darkness fell and I wondered what shall I do, you were there to love me and I to love you too.

I am not really sure who directed your love to me,
but I am most certain that it was always meant to be.

This is my moment,my moment of love,
that holds me safe in the heavens above.

It is ironic in those who believe in a majestic hierarchy,
when time is not choosy and death comes to us all.

Our greatest vulnerability is revealed
through nature itself.
Peace is merely energy formed
by those who dare to care...and there is where love is born.

It is mesmerizing to watch the wind conduct its own musical as it transforms the leaves of the trees into a whimsical fan like concerto in display upon the hills. It is the moving canvas of life which draws on the inner soul, inviting it to become one with the moment. The bright rays of the sun penetrate through the window with an infusion of warmth that can be felt not only reflecting off my face but reaching deeper into my inner being. The moment caught me torn between a tear of sadness and almost a giggle of madness as I felt both happy and sad. There was some merit to the inspiration of thought which could be seen in those we interact with and yet the distance of being in a very troublesome way tugged at my heart. It is in the sharing of a moment that love crosses the boundaries built by the trials of our yesterday. Like a sunflower that towers over the blue notes reaching for the sun, I found myself heart and soul grasping to feel your love.

I have to say that I originally had the ultimate plan for life and that all the struggles were simply a means to an end.Originally people called it the golden years, the time where we enjoy the harvest of what we sowed. I worked diligently to provide a safety net so as to catch the falls the unexpected which might accompany us on the road of life. I had no regrets simply because I believed all the experiences were part of the bigger picture. I looked around at the people in various ages of maturity, times had changed and it was not uncommon to see people in their 80's providing a service in the workforce. Times changing and yet one thing kind of remains the same, survival. It is our basic instinct to provide, food, shelter and to be fulfilled with a sort of nourishment to the mind and body. I wondered if that was all there was to a life and if we weren't all that much different in the biological sense to any other animal on earth. As it is for most animals to provide, food, shelter and enjoy basking in the sun. I have watched the hens fan their feathers in the sun, the dogs roll over and enjoy the warmth as well as a song bird bathe in the stream.
As time went on many a sequence of events caused detours in the plan of life. Some of choice, circumstance and others seem to be of a more mysterious nature. At times it seemed hopeless that spending a lifetime of planning can be altered within seconds and the outcome take a different direction. The bedroom is my hide away lately, though I have no door on the room a make shift curtain hangs across the threshold creating a ambiance of privacy. Several pillows bunched up create a comforting place to snuggle as I place the laptop on its side and begin to type. I previously finished making 150 bars of various soaps and my fingers still a bit tender from the lye. My room faces the hills and so very little if any sunlight actually makes its way through the windows. The room is always a little cooler than the rest of the house and though the temperatures on in the eighty's I find my self pulling the silky sheet over my feet. I again fluffed the pillows and folded them under my head. My mind seem to be a drift lately, from my responsibilities to my dreams. I again thought what is the reason for this life, I laughed at that as I thought of my children and my and my role in their life. First thing this morning my daughter entered the bedroom , she said " you are the greatest mother in the world" and I said "why is that" She said" because you care about us! " I thought to myself that really is important, to be cared about and cared for. It was in some ways the void in my life, I wanted to be priority, cared about, cared for. Certain situations flashed through my mind, ones that I wanted to forget and yet knew I shouldn't.
The most precious gift in life is love and what does love in till? The simple pleasures of caring and being cared for, the threads of compassion that are so needed to stroke gently the soul. It mattered little where we were or where we were going, the importance was with whom we shared the moments who held our hand and who traveled with us. I felt a shiver which left goose bumps all over and than quickly they disappeared and I held my pillow and I thought of you and the magic of our friendship. There was a darkness that I had a difficult time cutting through, it consisted of the past and the aimless journey. It was quite the realization that happiness and love and the magic that makes it all happen was best felt through the caring of one soul for another. Thoughts flowed like a river swelled in its bank, making you breakfast, massaging you down, sitting in the park, feeding the ducks, sharing in a kiss, catching your smile, feeling your love inside me. I wiped the tears of joy that streamed down my face as I understood that it wasn't how life was lived previously, where life would take us tomorrow, the joy of life was in the moment. I so wanted to pull you close and kiss you in celebration of our love. This was what life was all about, the sharing of a moment, the pleasure and desire that soothes the heart and ignites the soul. I closed my eyes and I again felt a chill rush over me and I was assured through all my senses that I was indeed accompanied by your love and that in no sense word was I alone. This was the destination, the gift of love journeys where nothing else can. I had to appease the hunger that our body craves and crest the dreams into the arms of reality. Sorrow aside, I felt the power of love set my heart a spin and I laughed.

So sweet the love that holds me close
and whispers in my ear, for happiness
was drawn within the heart the day
you first appeared.

I gathered it for safe keeping, I tucked
it safely inside and when the darkness
finds its way, your love brightens like
the sun that lights the sky.

Sorrow is not in the sequence, it was
removed when love was found and
when I reached unto the heavens,
again your love came shining down.


High above the clouds,
deep within your dreams,
love is waiting to tickle
your memory.

Gaze down from the blue,
a rainbow stretched across the sky,
connects heart to heart and
your soul to mine.

The chains invisible to the naked eye, binds the moment and makes the soul cry. Tossing and turning I try to break away, but the chains of life bound me to this day. Weeps the spirit as it cries out to you, to hold my hand and pull me next to you. Free my heart and allow my love to infuse, the mystery of life and what a day can do.

Heavy is the moment which I try to understand, as the path was paved many years ago by a soulless man. I cried and I shouted, I yelled out to you, "lead me to where the dreams will most certainly come true." Through the darkness a voice began to laugh, for he crafted so finely the barriers that have yet to collapse.

The child bewildered, her thoughts stray, as she begins to run and her feet frozen stay. Through the forest, over hills she climbs and still she feels the entrapment from another place and time. The script was written, the cast soaked in brine that causes one to think and on the soul dine.
I am not sure of my own emotions today as I journey forward I have come to understand that no matter how much choice comes into play there was indeed tightly woven strings attached to the marionette. She can only move so far before the strings are manipulated and the path redirected, until she collapses from the weathered tether.


So still the hollow, the birds no longer sing and even the tree frogs are asleep amongst the trees. The rain isn't falling and no sun can I see, the dimness of the day is like a canvas of spring. Where did the wind go? Where's my sunshine? Who controls the moment that toys with my mind? The wind took to you, to you my love and leaves with you the kiss in sweet summer hug. The sun behind the darkened clouds patiently awaits to break through the clouds like your love breaks through both night and day. You control the moment, you bring the sun and raindrops down, like the dreams of the heart where our love can be found.

Sings > Wingless Troubled Dove

There is a shadow of darkness, a cloud of grey above,
a wingless troubled dove, a soul that waits for you,
underneath the heavens,to make our dreams come true.

Once a sunless morn until our love was born and
happiness came shining through, that's what our
love can do, as it turns the grey skies blue.

There is a shadow of darkness, a cloud of grey above,
a wingless troubled dove, a soul that waits for you,
underneath the heavens,to make our dreams come true.

One kiss upon your lips, a hug I can't resist,
each beat of our heart, in unison that nothing
will part. The moments with a you, are all my
dreams come true, my dreams of loving you.


I wanted to tell you just how wonderful you are,

like the sunshine in the morning and the twinkle

of the nightly stars.

You are awfully special and the time with you

I share is a memory in the making of how

much one can care.

That which led me to you,

can't be all bad.


At first a fascination of quality and traits you rarely see
and than a understanding of what is meant to be.
I saw in you the magic of pure and unpretentious love,
liked sprinkled angel dust from far away and up above.
A tenderness that crossed the miles a warmth that soothes my soul.
Joy in every moment.and comfort in every word
and a acceptance in your sprit as I felt the gift of you.

I didn't realize how long I had been writing poetry and rarely do you look back. The survival mode always has you looking ahead. To fall back is to drown in that which we cannot alter. The power is in the future and what direction we choose to take. I had gone through old emails and actually what I realized is how very little I knew about life and people and how at the time I thought I knew so much. It seemed almost as if it were another time and place. The more I read through emails I received and those I sent the more like a puzzle it all became. In the making of a puzzle, you look for similarity and shape and color, you turn it around to see if it fits. I never realized how much I did that moved things around to make it all fit. I reread a few letters and they didn't look like puzzle pieces at all, they look like flotation devices with a slow leak. I was grasping and barely staying a float.

I didn't even recognize myself as if maybe those letters belonged to chapters of the past. Chapters written long ago those which to this day I don't understand. I again went over them in my mind and their was a similarity to them, they were all part of the great escape into a world of fantasia. What had changed over the many years? Had I changed? My views? My dreams? I thought about the current moment, today, where I am right now. I am standing firmly with two feet on the ground, no fantasy nor dreams of what will never be. I had surfaced above the rising water, walked to shore and met with reality. I can't say if it is now easier or more difficult, but I do know that being guided by truth and honesty, love and respect has redirected my soul on a path laden with hope and faith.

Love and Respect are one in the same,

for you cannot have one without the other.


The journey is a troubling one for

I know not where it leads,

but as I grasp into the darkness

I feel you reaching back to me.


You cannot be in my heart for as the puzzle is

completed you have become the final piece interlocked.

From the first day you took my hand,

I knew I was loved in away that only

those like Gods are worthy of.


I just want to shout I love you... so that everyone could hear!!!

but I decided I'd whisper it gently because it is only meant

for your ears.( whispers softly I Love you)


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