Early morning thoughs..

 The world is perfect and amazing, 

people not so much. 

~

To love is to live, 

or is it to live is to love?

~

I don't cry at what happened 

but what has yet to happen.

~

To think I learned all there is to know 

is to no longer live. 

~

Everyday is one step closer to the inevitable, 

therefore it's good to know I have loved and

have been loved.. 

Paint Has Yet To Dry

I held on to the yesterdays, 

as if it could you bring here. 

No tears or heartache 

only my heart to share. 

Watching a movie

and I began to cry,

did I relate or was it

just about time?

I couldn't control it, 

I thought I could hold on, 

and keep you with me 

like a repeat of a song.

I tried and I tried

didn't want to let go, 

but in the end 

I am here all alone. 

Mistakes were made

choices but a few, 

but I would change them all

if I could be there with you.

Can't hold back the tears

they cleanse the years gone by,

today like a new canvas

where the paint has yet to dry.

Recording of Time

 Just to kiss you good night

would bring the magic to life. 

If only dreams would come true, 

I would be there loving you.

It's a hot summer day and 

I wanted to sleep it away, 

just to dream once more

to see what the heavens 

have in store. 

I think you've drifted away like

the clouds as they finish the rain,

but the sunshine comes thru 

as it reminds me of you. 

There is salmon smoking on the grill

and the air is unusually still, 

as I prepare for dinner time

and pour a glass of wine.

Perfect would be the day

if I shared with you in a way,

the simple pleasures of life

that would make it all seem right.

Can't fight the feelings I have

sometimes happy and sad, 

as if you were close to me 

and disappeared as I wake

from a dream.. 

There's no hello or goodbye, 

just the recording of time.

Life keeps moving on 

like replaying a song.

I reached out to the blue

to try and feel for you,

to bring you close to me

like the haunting of a memory.

Just a page out of a lifetime

 I didn't recognize the words of long ago, 

somewhere in the soul the writing played.

It was a chapter and a few pages turned, 

lessons of life that only heartache learned.

To you merrily a moment in time, 

to me it redirected my entire life. 

The path traveled only by me 

and now stored deep within my memories.

Tears that can't be defined, 

love lost and memories entwined.

a road that seem to circle back 

to the wall that blocked my path.

I thought I could no longer feel 

but you are inside me still, 

weep for what won't be 

for all that is left is simple dreams.

There in the dark of night, 

I lay there and close my eyes. 

Once more I find you there 

waiting in my dreams. 

One Can Dream

He uttered the words pretentious at first, 

a humble disclosure of his love immersed.

She responded with compassion in a 

whisper so soft as a feather slowly wafts.

 

Their hearts kept on beating, slowly at first

becoming faster and faster as if circling the earth.

The day had concluded and their love was revealed. 

It had the broken the barriers and to the heavens 

now kneel.

She smiled and he laughed and they danced

with glee, as they looked to the heavens 

creating new memories. Majestic their love

that lives on like the sea as it returns to the shore

in each of their dreams. 

Not the Keeper of Souls

 I am not the keeper of souls, 

yours and mine are free, 

to do whatever you want and

to be whoever your meant to be.

I am not the keeper of souls, 

I don't have a magical hold, 

can't make you want me

as much as I want you.

I am not the keeper of souls, 

no matter how much I try, 

whether simply a want 

can't keep you by my side.

I am not the keeper of souls,

to think so would make me a fool, 

there is a lot more going on

and destiny can't be wrong. 

I am not the keeper of souls

I don't have that kind of hold, 

as I gaze up at the blue 

I can't help but think of you. 

I am not the keeper of souls,

was is to be will be, 

I'll have to settle tonight

on those incredible dreams. 

~

Living in a dream

that is where I find you, 

whispering words of sweet

to hear you whisper back.

It felt so awful real 

your presence next to me, 

as I shared in this moment

through a special dream. 

It doesn't make much sense, 

no beginnings or no ends, 

caught in the middle 

of a story called Forever Love.

I promised not to tear up

but the tears continue to fall, 

the heart still aches and the

the dreams still break down walls.

I wanted to wake up to a morning kiss, 

to fall a sleep in your arms each night, 

to share in all that life has to offer 

and give new meaning to this life. 

~

Grateful Am I

 When the sun rises 

and the skies blue, 

each day comes with

something new. 

Grateful am I

lessons learned as time goes by,

I see it from a different view, 

as maturity sets in.

No right or wrong 

the journey like an unwritten song,

experience comes with the day, 

to the heavens I gaze.

Want or need 

I realize it's a dream, 

what I want and what I need

are different obviously. 

To share my life with you, 

under the God given blue, 

make you laugh and smile 

or lay there in your arms.

But I am getting by, 

no more tears in these eyes.

Life is shorter everyday

and quickly passing away.

I take the time to celebrate

dance silly like in the rain, 

remember child like thoughts

and toss the negativity away.

Lifetime

 You never said goodbye, 

just walked away and let me cry, 

I felt the void from deep inside as

over the years it messed with my mind. 

I spent a lifetime trying to understand,

was this the path the heavens planned?

To reveal the sweetness of touch and 

have it torn away from me as such. 

Life changes day by day and 

yet it seems to stay the same, 

I look out upon the sea and 

remember how it could be. 

The rocking chair dream 

finds my soul wanting, 

to share in a simple way

the passing of a day. 

You never said goodbye, 

let that spark burn out and die, 

leaving me here all alone 

with nowhere for me to go. 

Meaning to Life

 I find myself dreaming, 

to be close to you at night, 

give meaning to this life 

and make the wrong right. me

I tried to turn back the pages, 

to rewrite this script called life, 

but no matter what I did, 

internally there was a fight.

I could almost feel you, 

taste the sweetness of your kiss, 

as if your lips touched mine 

and brought about this bliss.

The darkness has its way, 

to stretch like the miles, 

but my memories built a bridge

to block tears with smiles.

You might not think about me, 

I might never cross your mind, 

but the love I have for you

has taken the reigns of time. 

Some may call it chance, 

and others a destiny of sort

but I know when you found me

that this was something more. 

You finished my sentence 

as cliche as that may sound, 

I felt  that connection 

as if the angels sent you down. 

 The sad part is everything comes to an end. The only difference is when. 

" I didn't pick you, I found you"

 Some say an energy

and others call it the soul,

I don't give it a name 

but I know it has a hold.

Forever or eternal

whatever it shall be,

I just know one thing

and it's you found me.

Where does it take us,

where will we go?

Heaven or earth 

destiny reveals which

way we go.

I know for certain

what I feel is true, 

because wherever my travels,

I am always there with you.

Adore

The hills are picturesque, 

the mountains standing still, 

the birds are all nested and 

the sun beating down is felt.

Nature reveals perfection

balanced for all to see, 

and yet it seems to ignored

except for those who dream.

If only man could see it 

the beauty in a day, 

the way the leaves cascade

and before the flowers fade.

The Box turtle stopped to say hello

and the rabbits chomping the gardens away.

Center between the hills a part of it I am 

with grass beneath my feet the heavens command.

Sometimes we are weak 

and the Lord knows that to be true 

and that is why he sent you 

right on out of the blue.

My needs and wants 

always put me to the test. 

Do I need or want you, 

to share in this life long quest?

Frightened by times passing

as it truly takes its toll, 

and leaves very few tomorrows

for hand in hand to hold. 

I believe in eternal 

an energy forevermore, 

as our hearts and souls merged

with you who I adore.

Remain

The lights are lit,

the music played 

and there I dance

in the rain. 

I reached on out in the night

my hand in your hand tight, 

feel the love sweet from within 

bridges the miles that distance pinned.

Maybe I am just a thought

or a chapter that was lost, 

but in my heart you'll remain

and there my love is where you'll stay. 

 Is it growth or is it change 

or time that plays a game? 

Some would say we are 

wiser along the way. 

Rereading the chapters of life

somethings just don't feel right, 

but they all happen just the same

as they go about documenting the day.

~

Silence speaks the loudest, 

there is shouting from inside. 

It is in this place of darkness  

that heartache still resides. 

The day comes with laughter

no memories to toy but 

there in the eve the nightmares

were deployed. 

~

Hold

 The night was clear 

no clouds in sight, 

all I saw was stars

twinkling so bright. 

The frogs a croaking 

by the side of the pool,

as I went about swimming

your memory had a hold. 

Sharing the moment 

is all I want to do, 

to be in your arms

and do what lovers do.

Time is racing 

faster and faster each day,

there is no stopping 

as the sunlight fades away.

Only the night sky 

as I swim here all alone,

wishing and a wanting

your love to not let go.

All Along

 The memories are forever

and the dreams make you mine, 

the stillness of a summer night 

reviews a chapter of life.

I can hear your voice 

and see the smile on your face, 

my eyes tightly closed 

and my heart begins to race. 

Whispers in the night of

a song that only lovers know,

shared between two hearts

with us wherever we go.

Reaching out to hold you

and wanting to never let go,

to open up my eyes and find

that all along I have been alone.

Sweetest Daydream

 The rain keeps falling,

the stream swells out of its bank, 

summer soon approaching and 

those dark clouds have yet to pass.

The day of celebration is over

but the joy still remains, 

as I go about daydreaming

as the month races away.

My thoughts are scattered

as scattered as they can be, 

but I no longer need to run

I am happy being me. 

~

I have said my share of goodbye's

there were more than I would have liked, 

some are temporary and others last for life

but it's in your absence that never feels quite right.

Call it a chapter in this story we call life,

heaven and hell scripted, cut like a knife. 

Pages upon pages that I try to rewrite 

but the journey moves forward whether 

wrong or right.

~

One thing is certain and this I will say, 

I'm never alone as you're with me in away.

I feel you in my heart it warms my spirit so, 

soul and soul together is how we never let go.

I thought it might be magic or a mystery of sort,

the way we came together and wanted for more.

I can only tell you what it has done to me,

as I found the way to dance in and out of my dreams.

~~

To the wind my kisses,

to the mountains my soul, 

to soar above the heavens

to the one I so adore.

When I find I'm in the eye of a storm,

I race to your memory to find my norm.

Peaceful and quiet a warmth comes over me

as I go about living in the sweetest daydream.

Sings ...If I only could

 If I could make you want me, make you love me 

turn the world upside down and make you hug me.

If I only could , if you only would now.

If I could make you dance ,take a chance

hold my hand and take a stand.

If I only could, if you only would now.

If I could make you listen, hear the whispers

feel the moment and be the mister.

If I only could,if you only would now. 

If I could make you miss  me, make you kiss me,

dream the dreams that make you need me. 

If I only could, if you only would now.

Today

 Make new memories

and call it a day, 

time filled with laughter

in a joyous way..

Perfect weather

sunshine at its best, 

the rain held off 

and we are all so blessed. 

Friends and family

all gathered for fun,

swimming and sharing

till the day was done.. 

Can't cry on what can't be

yesterday is but a memory,

got to pick up the moment 

while holding on to the dream.

One

 I felt the summer breeze,

warm it kissed my cheek, 

daydreaming it was you

I drifted off to the blue. 

Simply another day 

sunshine with the rain, 

grateful for the time 

where memories make you

mine. 

Squeezing the thin air 

wishing you were here, 

holding on to the love 

from that special one.

Share

Can't take back the years, 

can't make the memories fade,

somethings will remain forever,

forever and a day. 

The song from the soul

no words does it need,

haunting like a hum 

triggers the dreams.

I can feel your presence

as if you were here, 

hearts and soul together

the love is what we share.

...in Mine.

 I feel the sun shining 

through the tree's leaves

as I feel your sweet love

through the rain. 

Somethings never ever end

lasting forever and a day,

finding their place in my heart

that is where the love remains.

Waking up each morning

singing songs of love,

it brings a touch of calm 

that can end any storm. 

The sky is never bluer 

and the sun so warm and bright

as I gaze into the  stream mirror

I found you by myside.

Your hand locked in mine,

our hearts and souls entwined.

We wrote the book on love 

that now rules time. 

Set My Soul Free

 Surreal the dream 

it brought you here to me, 

the visual so amazing 

it conflicts with reality.

Calming and yet restless

I saw you sitting there, 

it brought a sense of normal

to the time we shared.

I play the moment 

over and over again, 

to keep you close at heart 

to a love that has no end.

I can't speak for you 

only for myself and 

so I go about documenting

what I truly felt.

You entered my world

setting my soul free 

and when I need to see you

I close my eyes and begin

to dream. 

Take the Ribbon from my hair

 The weather near perfect,

as the sun was beating down,

and the stillness of the morning 

a scene from natures rounds.

I sat there watching 

as the stream trickled over the rock

and I thought about the moments 

that through my soul talked. 

I wanted to share 

this moment of bliss

if only to share with you

just one sweet kiss. 

The rooster sprawled 

bathing in the sun, 

and a tear drop fell 

as this day dream was done. 

Good bye morning 

take the sorrow away

and leave with me the story

for another day. 

~

The songs that make a moment,

the story that has yet to be told, 

from the magic of sweet love 

that has and everlasting hold. 

Emotions run deep

I wonder where you are, 

as I gaze upon the night sky

looking at that special star.

No more tears shall fall, 

no heart will once more break, 

as I go about loving you

day after day.

One

 The red robins are all nested

their babies waiting to be fed, 

found in various locations

new beginnings from old ends. 

Mock orange blossoms 

are trailing to the ground, 

sweet petals of white 

are gently falling down.

The silence is broken

by the many tree frogs, 

as they go about courting

with a song that sounds like

a round.

So I sit here all alone 

as I whisper to the wind,

send my words of love

that he may listen in. 

From my lips a kiss

and from my heart the love, 

that united the two of us 

forever into one.

Merry Go Round

 The rain keeps falling, 

the sun hides behind the clouds, 

the mountains all stand tall 

as the river of emotions are drowned.

Fickle the season of spring

temperatures jump all around,

makes for a melancholy evening

as I daydream in this merry go round.

Rambling Wild Rose

 It is your gentleness and kindness that made me aware of what I was lacking. 

Living in a dream.

Screaming on the inside.

Holding on to the beautiful moments, those which are far and few in between.

It is not necessarily the warmth of the sun but its light that get me moving 

The silence bothers me the most..

My heart and soul battle but it is the instinctive feeling within that speaks volumes. 

Miles

 I promised myself I would write

document the meaning of love, 

from the very first hello , 

the words from my heart came.

It's not of a fairytale making

maybe my imagination gone wild,

but the emotions run deeply 

in this most unusual style. 

Streams run into the river

and the river to the ocean mouth, 

like the love I have for you 

crosses over the many miles. 

Cool and Windy Day

 Cool and windy spring day 

as the sunshine fades away, 

tree frogs have gone to sleep

 and the fish move on down stream. 

Under a blanket and just wasting time, 

daydreaming of the days of you and I.

Visuals that seem so real almost as if

your arms I can truly feel.

Wishful thinking at its best 

the world sometimes is a mess, 

I escape in my own way

on this cool, windy day.

Loving You

 Somethings never leave you. It could be a comment a stranger said or something you saw or heard. Out of the blue something will trigger a memory and it will bring it all back as if it were yesterday. 

The ending of a fairytale, 

a romance movie at its best, 

the laughter shared between two, 

and the attraction put to a test. 

Song lyrics felt written for us, 

a blend of love and a hint of lust. 

Savoring all the moments and

replaying a few as I go about 

loving you. 

We

 Tomorrow will come and I will still love, 

something inside of me just can't let go. 

It might sound crazy to hold on to yesterday

but the power of love rules in its own way.

I want to believe in the magic of dreams,

the fairytale endings of happily after.

From the first something was anew

everything changed and the world took

on a different hue.

Foolish as it may seem to be, 

I feel your love deep within me.

From the moment I wake up 

till I'm fast asleep you're my 

every thought and every thought

is we. 

I

One

 One heaven above us, 

one earth below, 

our hearts as one

as our souls joined long ago.

No distance between us, 

no matter where we are, 

as I feel your love within me

united two into one from afar. 

Memories

 Each night as I close my eyes, 

I trace with my mind my way to you.

Feel the energy, the love that I have,

as I reach on out and hold on to you.

Empowered by the stars above 

reminders of our special love, 

One heaven above us, one earth below

you're always with me this you must know.

Each night as I close my eyes, 

taking a deep sigh I wipe a tear from my eye.

Not happiness or sadness but somewhere in between,

as I go about living on those sweet memories.

Missing You

 I can't explain the feeling, 

or to put emotions at bay, 

as I am caught up in the memories

and missing you more each day.

The ache on a slow simmer

as it never goes away, 

brings a tear to the eye

like rain on a dark day..

Two souls in passing

hearts fragile at best

encountered wasted years

in this life long test.

I tried to let it go

to welcome a new day, 

but somehow the yesterdays

from my heart have yet to fade.

Being Me

 Accepting who you are creates a sense of peace. 

The world is changing but as they say not always for the better.

Once upon a memory...

It is quite frightening to step into the mind of another. 

I was once afraid of my emotions, until I realized that all we an b responsible for is elf and then I learned to enjoy my feelings.

Loving you has made this journey bearable.

Today

 We are an accumulation of our experiences. 

Everyone has at least one story, some more than others.

The beautiful experience are like a buoy, I often reach for them. 

The body's reaction tells all, I guess that is what they call " gut instinct"

When I think of you I still get that warm fuzzy feeling. 

Most people judge by the outer shell but there is a lot more to being human.

I can only be responsible for my own feelings .

I marvel at the return of the seasons...life goes on.

Energy

 The apple blossoms of spring are in bloom 

and there I sit and ponder of my love for you.

Deep in thought, tracing the memories of my mind

as I reflect on the passing of time. 

The fish are jumping as they migrate down the stream,

with tree frogs singing their melodic mating song.

It almost seem perfect on this sunny spring day 

except I sit alone thinking of the absence that remains.

I could feel the energy as if you were here with me 

and then I pinch myself as a reminder it's a dream.

You'd think there would be no more tears to fall 

but sorrow and heartache have their own set of laws.

I once heard of the healing that comes with time 

but somethings never diminish to only outlast a rhyme.

Words written to forever remain and like the passing seasons

accumulate quickly and become deeply ingrained. 

...and what a journey it is.

 We start out alone and end alone. 

Experience is the chapters we call life.

Feelings are the strings of the heart.

If you could die more than once...I have felt that pain several times.

What could have been is like stopping at a four way cross in the road.

I miss you more than I ever thought possible.

Classic movies always scripted " the end" 

Life is nothing but lessons till our last breath.

Feels So Good Lyrics- Chuck Mangione

Spring in the Heavens

 When the stars come out at night,

darkness falls and the moon shines bright. 

That's the time I close my eyes 

and find you here by my side. 

My last thoughts trigger the dreams, 

positive with sweet memories. 

Comforting they brought you here and

through the dreams we share.

Love between the two of us

is as magical as it can be, 

for in the dark of the night 

in your arms is where I'll be. 

The heavens whisper softly

a reminder of what you mean to me, 

wonderful and amazing, thrilled with desire,

nothing can separate the souls as they have 

all the power.

I don't know if you ever think of me, 

but I find the comfort of each dream. 

Call it whatever you want it to be , 

closure or not or simply another day of spring. 

~

I don't wanna open my eyes, 

I don't wanna stop dreaming of you, 

all that I have was found on this path

even if I can't ever have you back. 

I don't wanna open my eyes,

I don't wanna stop dreaming of you, 

the happiness that I am feeling 

comes from the love I have for you/

Dance

 Some people cross your path like a Monarch Butterfly heading on migration and maybe or maybe not to return . Some people are special to cross your path and stay for the full journey and for that rare individual I am blessed. As I listen to the music sent to me years ago I think wow how fortunate I am.  On those days when I am a wee bit melancholy listening to these songs is when I get a message that lifts me up. Sometimes the people furthest away can be the closest in heart. For that reason alone I am ever grateful. 

I think it is a dance in the kitchen moment ... holding you close as we dance. 

Directia 5 Povestea Noastra

Not Gonna Get Us

Favorite Dream

 Each year the wood ducks return to nest, 

swimming up the stream in their yearly fest. 

Somethings vary as much as they stay the same

for the seasons of life always present a new day.

The catkins of the willow have come and gone

as the wildlife of nature forms to create a song,

sometimes with a reminder how short life can be

and a notation of how minute in the universe are we. 

Old folks mention "being on the top of the green grass"

everytime I hear the adage I begin to laugh. 

Nothing is forever that is most certainly 

so I go about reviewing my favorite dreams. 

The visual amazing as if reality, 

feeling your heart and soul right here with me,

I can almost taste the sweetness of your lips 

as I go about daydreaming of our kiss. 

Snuggled Up To Your Memory

 The winds were howling 

in a loud and haunting way, 

taking on the hills as the 

trees violently swayed. 

I quivered from the chill

as the storm was moving in, 

in this early spring season 

of battling rain and wind. 

I took to the house 

with pillow and blanket lay, 

thinking of the sunshine 

that you brought my way.

It warmed my heart 

as my soul now soared free, 

in the comfort of the moment

snuggled up to your memory. 

Shared

 One moment created a memory

and each memory triggers thoughts, 

teetering on the many emotions 

stored away within my heart. 

One side of a story 

my view and mine alone, 

of the many chapters of life

that just can't be let go. 

~

I took a ride to the city

a world different indeed, 

but an experience all the same

documenting I am truly free. 

The years have passed by

the path paved by choice,

led me in several directions

a few in which I rejoiced.

One book with many chapters

one ends and a new one starts,

though each are very different

only one holds my heart. 

Some are filled with sadness, 

heartache and despair 

but I savor the one 

that you and I have shared.

We

 There is nothing that I could do

to change the worlds hue, 

the sun will shine and the skies of blue

behind the clouds will appear the hue. 

Life continues on 

there is no right or wrong, 

different perspectives true, 

how you feel and I feel for you.

If it were meant to be

I wouldn't have you in my dreams, 

you'd be here and I'd be there 

and our life we would share.

I found it difficult

to the turn the page of life, 

wanting what cannot be 

in hope that you and I would 

be a we.

Part

 There is a song in the sound of the wind,

whispering to you my friend of days gone by.

From the moment we said hello, I couldn't let go

as you've become a central part of me. 

There is dream, I dream every night, 

the feelings I can't fight as I see you there. 

From the moment we said hello, I couldn't let go

as you've become a forever part of me. 

~

The  years have quickly passed by

and I still sit here dreaming of you. 

Imagining how life could be 

if you were with me till the end. 

~

Time prepares us for the moment

as the lessons of life add up. 

I think I always knew it 

from the child that looked into her 

grandmothers eyes. 

This is where life leads us,

the path we're meant to be on,

as we journey further while

looking back at the days long gone.

When

 When the dreams feel real 

and real feels like a dream, 

then we've captured the moment

where we've got everything. 

When you've got me and I've got you, 

we will take on the heavens and rule the blue.

like a dance between two lost souls, 

a smile and a kiss never gets old. 

If I Fall

 If I fall will you catch me ? "Don't fall." There are way to many stories of the knight in shining armor. The princess being rescued and running away to happily ever after. No knight, no princess, no rescue, no happily  ever after....just don't fall. No matter how old I get I find everyday brings something new. If you are not learning you are not living. I found there is no such thing as unconditional love. That two people loving on the same level is rare if not impossible. That life is a game and someone is always making a move. That the journey is to experience and loneliness is just one step in the journey. 

One set of stars above,

so many kinds of love,

a path that leads nowhere

as it circles back to here. 

The differences can't be explained,

older, wiser yet the same, 

like a game piece makes the move

I prepared to lose. 

I watched the moon cross the sky

as if it played tricks with my mind,

another day and another night 

is this all there is to life?

I couldn't bear to say goodbye 

as if something inside me would die,

I hung on to that very first hello 

as if I just couldn't let go. 

This story never to be told 

it never seems to get old, 

the feelings inside grow,

is this where the path goes?

It feels like a dead end

no chapters to begin, 

I can't see tomorrow thru

as there is no me and you. 

So many mistakes 

is that what it takes?

Lessons of old 

some still not told.

Tears never cease to fall

can't wash away it all, 

everything is carried on 

like words of a love song. 

~

I can't tell you exactly how it feels, 

so I'll borrow the words that history instills.

From forever after, to a love so true

in a song sung just for you. 

Maybe you'll think of me 

when the sun begins to rise 

and maybe again when

the night rules the sky. 

The energy can't be denied

powerful it united you and I. 

lost on a detour or two it aways

 comes back to me and you. 

The Irony

 Sometimes we start out on our journey in life trying to find where we fit in, to find that we are just a piece in someone else's puzzle. We are everything and we are nothing as if we are the light and the darkness. 

Lost

The Glory of Love

Another Rainy Day

 Fed the chickens, 

gathered the eggs,

darkened skies

another rainy day.

Thought of you

as I always do, 

in a daydream 

of skies blue. 

~

Surreal dreams and there you are with me,

a little question as what could be

if you held my hand and followed me

every day would be lovely.

Closing my eyes to see you here, 

as the heavens rays appear.

What I know and what could be 

is a s magical as my sweet daydreams.

 To visit, connect, escape ...to dream. 

Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda

 Circumstance plays a part, choice is empowerment, fate is the ultimate ending. We get where we were always meant to be, it just might take a little longer. 

It is what it is

Fate and circumstances 

might map the day

but ultimately choices 

lead the way. 

Can't erase the past

each chapter in play, 

tomorrow awaits

another new day. 

~

Hidden within

the emotions inside, 

cannot be written

a whisper remains.

I'll take it with me

I won't say a word,

in my heart you'll remain

forever and a day. 

 A memory, thought , fleeting moment. 

Questioning

 What is this emptiness, 

the void from inside, 

lost in the darkness 

incomplete passage of time. 

I thought it a puzzle 

with pieces to find, 

but it ended up a game

that played with the mind.

What is the meaning and

where leads the path?

The journey of life 

is passing quite fast.

I thought I knew all 

there was to know,

but I find myself questioning

what life has bestowed.

Just a Thought

 What is scary is how short life really is. 

If I could have done it over, I would have enjoyed each day a little more,

 worried a lot less and replaced want for accepting. 

I don't live with regrets ...what is , is 

~

I never realized how close love and hate were until I experienced both. 

I do believe souls cross paths for a reason. 

I no longer ache but feel an emptiness. 

Music can both agitate and soothe the soul.

If I could say what one thing matter most....that I loved. 

Spring is renewal, I feel that awakening. 

Nothing compares to the loyalty of your dog...now that is unconditional love. 

Spring Cleaning

 Advice " don't let your emotions rule"  It took me years to actually understand what that meant. I have always at an awareness of others or at least I thought I did. Not understanding where someone is coming from can lead you into a web that is difficult but not impossible to get out of. I am not sure if I have hardened or just learned to put emotions aside. I find that this emotional detachment helps me get through the day, where at one point it was the opposite and I was hanging on to a dream. I had that awareness of people early on. I thought about how adults felt when I was 7 and 8 yrs old. I guess that is why I was the pleaser. Pleasing others gave a sense of peace well to the surroundings but not to the inner soul.  In this time of solitude  it is much different. I have learned to find peace within myself without relying on others. 

I was looking through photo albums of those who smiled the most and realized they were the least to be happy. There is irony in that ...put on a happy face. It is funny you really never stop learning. If you do, you are not longer alive. 

This is the time of no stress and conflict, no want need and yet the world is ruled by the anger of mother nature and man made wars. The ugliness seems far away at the moment or does it , for it is tree everyone has at least one story. Loss, emptiness, financial, heartache blah, blah, blah. 

Doing some spring cleaning and getting rid of the overly accumulated objects that are no longer necessary or as they say no longer bring me joy. Maybe we should do that with memories and thought , spring clean and get rid of what no longer brings us joy. The world would be a whole lot easier. 

Enjoying the warm weather, I promise to never to complain how warm it is after this awfully cold winter. There were a lot of goodbyes over the years like a seed in the wind blowing them away. My emotions no longer rule .

It is never what you think it is or as they say it is never what it seems. 

You

 I thought of you before I closed my eyes, 

so that you were the last thought on my mind. 

You have my hand and my heart from the start

as I go about dreaming dreams of you. 

I thought of you before I closed my eyes, 

so that you were the last thought on my mind. 

Loving you, loving me that is how it's meant to be

as I feel you body and soul next to me. 

I thought of you before I closed my eyes,

so that you were the last thought on my mind. 

Could it be just a dream that brought you here to me

as I close my eyes and kiss you good night. 

Simplicity

 More than a memory 

or a story to tell, 

as we were united 

and could not be quelled. 

One to one 

our souls unite

in a bond of forever

where dreams delight. 

~

It's early in the AM 

and the roosters  crow, 

but I have yet to sleep 

as my mind won't let go. 

Stuck on this page 

that repeats forevermore

challenges the dreams 

right to the core. 

I failed to understood 

what it all means , 

or the scattered emotions 

that in silence scream. 

My heart feels the warmth

of the sweetest dreams 

where you were sitting 

right here with me. 

Over and over 

I see the same scene, 

where you and I unite

in a visual of simplicity. 

Absence

There is a song yet to sing

and a story still not told  , 

in this dance between two

more precious than gold. 

Captures the moment

in a unbreakable spell, 

that drew me to you 

and away from hell. 

Freeing the soul

unleashing the hold, 

to soar the heavens

where true love unfolds.

Silent whispers 

from my heart to yours

need not be spoken

but beg for more. 

One more moment

and one more day, 

is all that I ask for 

as time leads the way.

I might not have seen it

or just refused to look, 

but the words were in front of me

like a well written book. 

It was based on need 

and want and desire

that I closed my eyes

as my heart felt the fire. 

Tears had fallen 

as I looked away, 

refraining from the absence 

that wedged its way. 

Silence

 In the silence of the night all you have are memories.

~

I've learned to appreciate being alone.

~

Not a fan of winter, glad it's almost over.

~

One thing about chapters, there is another one waiting to be written.

~

Passing ships in the night.

~

Shhhhh and you will hear hat matters most. 

~

 

 

Memory

 My earliest memory..." Don't leave the yard." My favorite childhood memory.. Putting my feet on my Dad's shoes as he teaches me to dance in the kitchen. One of my fondest dancing with my brother when we were adults. One of the most difficult... childbirth. Amazing that something so difficult can bring forward something so beautiful. It was once said by a friend that "now is not the time for learning but for enjoying the fruits of our harvest." But I have yet to stop learning as I share time with my daughter I find us experiencing and learning new things together. There are times I wish I could save her the pain of experience to only find that she has to experience to find her own path and that in no way can I shorten or lessen the pain of her path. 

When I was in a second hand store dropping off a box of clothes I heard and elderly couple talking. The old woman looked at a box and said to her husband " This is where we come to die as our memories end up a box at the second hand store. " When we die our memories go with us. Looking around the house at the knick knack and bric brac collected over the years I thought they are just items if you don't look at the stories behind them. My grandmothers powder box, my great grandmothers vase, the candy dish we picked up while antique shopping...things with memories attached. Our experiences, laughter and tears amount to a box of memories. 

The secret memories that I have kept tucked away. 

The lights of the city, 

the smell of cologne,  

the first poem written,

the fallen tears of heartache. 

The many chapters of life,

time quickly passed, 

love and fear, 

choices.

Hello and goodbyes, 

emotional attachment, 

destiny and fate,

energy of souls. 

Feelings - Morris Albert (lyrics)

My King

 In a world of dreams

your arms are where I'll be,

bringing comfort to me

it must be fantasy.

I could sleep day and night

to have you in my life,

and feel the touch of love

on those clouds above.

What is or isn't meant to be

you're still my king and I your queen,

in this world of memories

the visuals are so darn sweet.

Just a Thought On A Cold...

 It is easy to love but for two to love equally is a rarity. 

If I think too hard the part of me that died ...aches. 

Life is a rollercoaster, every time you get ready to step off it speeds up.

Ho can I make you understand....

Easy to lie to oneself. 

Trisha Yearwood - How Do I Live (Ost. Con Air) (Music Video)

Care

 When the pages were all turned

and the chapters faded away, 

the miles between us never

stopped the friendship that remains.

The smile between us 

it's always there 

as a reminder of you my sweet

who showed you always cared.

Journey

 One heaven above us, 

and one earth below

the experiences are many

to each who dare to grow.

The journey is filled 

with many hills to climb,

but I have realized 

we are short on time.

Make the most 

of each second of the day,

in the magic of life 

its brings joy our way.

My Dreams

 I'm enjoying the moment,

I'm taking in the day.

I don't need your nonsense

in any form or way.

From the moment I wake up

till I'm fast asleep,

I celebrate this life and

all it seems to bring.

You might have let go

and walked away 

but I have survived

in my own way.

First, I was frightened

I didn't want to be alone

and then it occurred to

me that I have truly grown.

I no longer struggle

for something that don't exist,

or beg in silence

for your kiss.

This world I live in

now nested in peace,

as the day passes by

I am no longer weighted

by the dreams of bliss.

Sings ..Loving you

 There is nothing I would do

 or  I could do to stop from loving you.

Like a song of old or one of gold,

the music takes a hold.

My mind drifts a far up to the stars

but there you remain in my heart.

There is nothing I would do or

I could to stop from loving you.

True Delight

 Jumping clouds and holding hands, 

in this moment the dreams command. 

Starry nights and skies of blue 

and there I dance as one from two. 

See it, feel it ...so surreal 

in your arms the visuals reveal,

sweet and loving and all we are 

that we can unite from afar. 

~

With my eyes tightly closed 

my heart is given clear sight,

I can see what's meant to be 

with the magic of memories. 

Physical may cause a block

but I can feel you when you talk,

as if the words come to life 

to my soul a true delight.

Can't Sleep Thoughts

 Positive memories keep me afloat when

 the negative memories try to drown me. 

Some people are indeed a chapter,

it's a rare individual that makes a whole book.

It is difficult to focus on tomorrow 

when we are not even promised today.

Live and let live seems easy 

but difficult for most. 

To be joined just to be torn apart 

is an experience that I regret having to endure.

One can hope

 Death is the final goodbye. 

~

All that is left is a hole where you fill with memories. 

~

If we are energy I hope our spirits reunite. 

What's your story?

 Everyone has got at least one story.

There is no better or worse as we all at one time or

 another experience and express the same set of emotions. 

~

• Admiration
• Adoration
• Aesthetic appreciation
• Amusement
• Anxiety
• Awe
• Awkwardness
• Boredom
• Calmness
• Confusion
• Craving
• Disgust
• Empathetic pain
• Entrancement
• Envy
• Excitement
• Fear
• Horror
• Interest
• Joy
• Nostalgia
• Romance
• Sadness
• Satisfaction
• Sexual desire
• Sympathy
• Triumph

I believe I experienced all but two of these emotions with you .

One story does not weigh heavier than another but it all depends on how much you can carry. 

See you soon

 Living in two worlds 

one I am there with you,

living in a dream holding

hands all night thru.

Spending my nights

with a silly smile, 

I think I am going back 

to sleep for a little while.

I wish you could feel the way I feel,

in this dream like made up world.

It is all I have this dream of you,

rolling on over, I'll see you soon.

Barbara Lynn - YOU'LL LOSE A GOOD THING - 1962 Original!

Hurt So Bad - Little Anthony & The Imperials.avi

Little Anthony & The Imperials - Tears On My Pillow

I'm On The Outside (Looking In)

Dedicated to my brother who had a heart. 

Daydream

 I closed my eyes tightly

and there I saw you, 

holding me ever so close 

and dancing the night thru. 

My heart felt your warmth, 

my soul could not deny, 

that in this day dream 

there is only you and I. 

I don't want to wake up 

to break this spell, 

to do otherwise 

would be certainly hell.

Tomorrow

 You can't rewrite the chapters of life 

and there is no labeling them wrong or right. 

Only thing we can do is write a page new

as tomorrow takes on a different light. 

You can't rewrite the chapters of life 

and there is no labeling them wrong or right.

One thing is true and I guess I always knew

tomorrow will bring on something anew.

You can't rewrite the chapters of life

and there is no labeling them wrong or right. 

We are who we are formed from the heart

that is why each chapter includes you.

Deep

 What is this connection uniting soul to soul? 

What causes this unusual everlasting hold? 

I thought about it both day and night 

the feelings that bring sweet love to life. 

This love for you 

is found deep in the heart 

undeniable that this is where

the seeds of love got their start

Fused two souls into one

from the moment we bonded by love,

the connection undeniable that is true

it's what they call " falling in love 

with you"

Peace and contentment

showered down from the heavens high

as a reminder that something changed 

that can never be denied.

My Heart

 Venus shining brightly in the night sky

closer and closer at this January time.

The more I gazed on the planet up high

the more I realized that it was uniting you and I.

Snow blankets over the fields and hills 

causing me to quiver from this winter chill,

The moment was perfect as perfect can be

as I knew that you were here as long as I 

could daydream. 

The clouds were passing slow but steadily

as if they could take a message from me,

I knew they would arrive wherever you are,

so I whispered to the heavens "take to him my

heart. "

Box

 I don't want to take down my Christmas tree. It is just to perfect to pack up. I was thinking about what is important in this life and it reminded me of this elderly couple in a second hand store. As the older woman strolled down the isles looking at the old items she said to her husband" when we die this is what happens to our stuff, they box it up and bring it here." I laughed as I thought woe in the end we are a box of second hand store things. What is important ? I guess I have hit those markers, I laughed, cried, traveled, lived and loved. But when its all said and done we are just a box of second hand store items. 

It is a cold January day and I'm feel the wings of freedom. No one to tell me when to wake up and when to go to sleep. But most of all the freedom comes when worry is lifted from the soul. What is to worry about sooner or later we all meet our maker . As I gaze at the Christmas tree and not wanting to take it down. The tree becomes a reminder that no one iw promised tomorrow. 

I sailed the ocean, 

walked  alone in the sand,

felt the warmth that only 

dreams command. 

The visuals delightful 

as if you were here, 

and in this moment

our love we shared.

As long as I can dream

I certainly have everything, 

the memories that touch the heart

from that first magical spark. 

whisp of early morn

Inner Peace...free of fear, worry. 

When emptiness of emotion is filling...

I like colored lights.

Drama everyone else's story.

I indeed hold the pen.

Blowing in the wind.

Sunshine that comes from the soul.

Okay I've said it ...goodbye.

Story

Reading a few biographies it is conclusive that everyone has at least one story. No matter how sensational or mundane, it is their  story with heartache and triumphs of one kind or another.  Depending on the depth of emotion and how much is felt  gives the story their edge. 

I have come to appreciate solitude, there is something peaceful in not having to respond to the drama that other people bring into the framework of life. On a recent cruise people came and went in passing. Like a quick hello and goodbye without the strings of emotion. It make for a joyous occasion. 

I had this dream unusual at it was it was like a comedy that kind of put a death of a dear friend to rest. In the dream my brother in law was in prison and one of the guards helped him break out. I had him dress as a woman as we were on the run in the dream. I felt a sense of peace seeing him as he was big part of my life as everyone I had known had passed away. Tears fall as I think of all the goodbyes. I wondered to myself what is my story? What did I overcome, what were my trials and triumphs?  I must have an overworked guardian angel as I think of all the people who took my hand if only for a little while. My earliest memories have always been distant, like a gray day where you can't see clearly. But the first one that comes to mind is my mother saying"don't leave the yard." Ah.. the big back yard I can't remember how old I was when I realized there was more to the world than that "Big back Yard." I tried to think in depth what came next from that moment,not what I was told but what I could truly remember. There is a gap of those first 6 years that I really can't fill in. It is not like I haven't tried, they just have always been blank.  From the age of six to nine I can count six places that I lived and as many schools. Each location comes with a glimpse of childhood. I can see the outside of each building but I can't open the door with my mind and enter the building. All of the memories from that time are outside of each house. I was the proverbial new girl in school. " Meet Rachel our new girl."

I guess I managed to get use to people in passing, they have been that way since I can remember.

I have been working on my family tree for sometime now but what really was interesting was the historical  newspapers that you can find online. Some of the articles actually were documentations of my childhood. It was uncanny as I felt distant and close to the stories. As if the articles were about someone else.  Missing chapters of a life, maybe I blocked those chapters out for a reason. That is my survival. It is like having the ability to rewrite the story or atleast turn the page. 

Another Chapter

 If all there is but just one more day

I'd spend each moment with you,

the irony is in how short life is

and the simplicity of heavens blue.

I'm celebrating each season 

as only lovers can really do, 

I don't know what you're thinking

I know there is only one love true.

The warmth and kindness 

has never left this heart of mine,

the gift of love renders like 

honey sweetened wine. 

If there's an afterlife 

wouldn't that be amazing too,

for I would dance upon the heavens 

embraced just me and you. 

I looked up at the night sky

and the stars were shining back, 

and that very moment I knew

that they are shining down

wherever you are at.

When I woke up you weren't here 

but your presence I could feel,

as if the dreams of love bring

your heart and soul near.

The sweetness touched my lips,

your embrace held me tight 

and somehow I could feel you 

as that moment was such a delight.

I couldn't help but smile

when the warmth came over me,

and from that very moment I 

was in a state of peace.

I am right with the world

and the Lord above, 

for I have felt your presence

through the magic of love.

Each day is a beginning, 

I don't believe in ends, 

just another chapter 

to rewrite the lose ends. 

Slips Away

 Winter white graces the hills,

 in an uncanny canvas in still.

The rainbow stretched across the sky

a brief vision of nature penned in time.

I gazed on out the window as I've done before,

leaving behind yesterday to see what today has in store.

There is always a little magic that graces the day 

as I reach on out and hold it before it slips away.

Always and ...

 Closing my eyes and seeing you with my mind 

and feeling you with my heart....today and always.