Life

 Did I see the sunrise 

in the trees atop the hills

or was it just my wanting

that made my heart stand still?

There are one set of stars

shining down in the night

and one world between us 

giving meaning to this life. 

Could it have been the dreams

that made the moment feel right?

Carved out by the needs of the

heart and soul in flight. 

My body began to quiver

as I knew it to be true,

something came over me

as my thoughts turned to you.

The mixture of want and need

had fallen through a tear, 

as if the magic of love

to my soul spared.

Ending chapters 

no new ones to write,

I feel like I am here

at the end of this life.

Shared

Stars of the heavens

have  away that bring

the distance of two 

like a well remembered 

dream.

It might be the wanting

that brings you near

as I gaze at the heavens

and your smile appeared.

The solemn expression

followed by the tears,

remembers the days 

you and I shared.

~

The pen was always there

as the pages of life appeared.

The words of love I shared

when I chose to write in a

romantic flair.

It might have been the wanting

and the need that showed,

as the days grew longer 

the pain continued to grow.

~

When this life is over and all is said and done,

what will we leave if we don't have love?

The silence that rules the night has a way

of bringing the dreams to life. 

As the visuals appears 

to replace what I cannot hear, 

no magic, nor joy to this life

without you, nothing feels right. 

 ~

I've paged through the chapters

and the chapters revealed, 

what I thought was love 

was a one sided deal. 

Those fireworks happen

when two feel the same, 

but for some life is 

nothing but a game.

Bitter Cold

 It's easy to hate the moment 

to allow the bitter cold in, 

but I had to think about you

and how our love first began.

The need for your sunshine

to warm my very day, 

comes with this feeling

that finds me standing 

in the rain.

Memories

 I've taken the memories you gave me

they are seeded in my heart to grow, 

they're a reminder of our love

and the dreams that won't let you go. 

I've take the stars to brighten my night

as a reminder that someday will be again,

in the heavens where all is eternal 

and you will be in my arms once more.

I've take the memories you gave me

and reviewed them day after day 

and when the darkness surround me 

it is your memories that lights the way. 

Waiting

 Believe in a fairytale of sort

where dreams come together

and we find our self looking

for more. 

The sunshine and the moonlight

are mere objects in the sky,

a gift of the heavens that brings

a place to both you and I. 

When the days darken

and winter find its way,

just gaze up at the heavens

and you'll find me waiting. 

Heavens Bright

 I looked to the heavens bright

and the stars were giving off light,

the moon shining as it does each night

and I pondered on the moment you 

came into my life.

 Happiness and sadness as I think of you,

wishing and wanting that you loved me too,

another day older and another day lost

as the road before me remain uncrossed.

Whispers falling on deafen ears

no one to share and no one cares,

rainbows that once bridged the sky

quickly faded from sight. 

The Not So Happy Holiday

 I watched a silly Christmas movie. You know the kind where you laugh and you cry. When the movie ended I thought about what Christmas meant to me. Before I had children it was strictly hope and faith. Faith in the religious aspect, which centers on love and peace and hope that my life would have some kind of normal. When the children came along it put a different spin on the holiday. Part of me tried to create what I didn't have. I over indulged them to the point of exhaustion. It seemed I never seemed to get it right. Maybe it was that I put myself to much into the picture of what I expected the holidays to be. As I have matured, a kind way of saying I have gotten old. I think about what personally makes me happy. Well of course the holiday was funny and I did find myself laughing several times through the movie. But it all comes down to who we share it with. I have said goodbye to so many family members and I find myself personally alone. Who would think I would be alone. I do have adult children and grandchildren. But this kind of loneliness is different. It is that love of caring, concern, sharing that comes with two adults loving each other. Maybe I am over thinking or over emotional or both. There is a world of people that are alone, but that doesn't matter to the individual who finds them self lost , isolated. Might be that I made the wrong decisions or maybe the right decisions and I chose to be alone. My grave stone epitaph "  Alone in a crowded room"  I think many people don't understand what that means. It is not a choice , It is like not finding that person that completes you. I have made a lot of mistakes and that gets a person to where they are at. Sometimes that unique love doesn't exist or if it does I haven't found it. I had this conversation with my daughter. She was on a new date. She said " he is just way to into me and I don't feel it back" I said" When it's right you'll know it because there will be fireworks shooting in the air from both his and your heart." She smiled and said" yeah" But the irony is someone always loves a little more than the other and so those fireworks become rare.                           The season can be a bit melancholy everyday I want to pick up the phone and call my sisters and my brother and that's difficult as my heart breaks to this day from their absence. I guess that makes the holidays even more stressed because you want to spend time with people who are no longer here. Which brings me to seeing what want to see in people. I thought about the people I met along the way. It is about wanting the magic. Do we find magic or create magic?  I am not sure. I guess I am just disheartened with the who life experience. It reminds me of researching my family ancestry. They become merely words on a paper but as I read bits of their story comes to life.  I am tired to the point of exhaustion.  So as the holiday quickly approached and I am not able to have my children gather together, I find myself looking back and feeling the need for hope and faith. I have the world will be a better place and hope for some kind of normal. In the end all we have is what we create. That is what I told my children" being a parent is making memories" with out memories we having nothing to claim.  Sings the song " you've got to give a little , take a little , let your poor heart break a little, that is the glory of that is the story of love."  The holidays may not be what we expect or want and many people will be alone due to the crazy covid virus . So I hope that we all survive through it to share the love in our hearts.. I was once told hating is an emotion equivalent to love it means you still care. So I can't go saying I hate the holidays for something that won't be the same this year. It is the child in me who loves the lights, the music, decorations and yes darn Christmas movies where the guy gets the girl.  When it is all said and done I am the hopeless romantic. 

Without Song

 If you make no promise,

no promise will you break

and no heart will be shattered

by stormy clouds of gray. 

Stories of sorrow

written by the heart, 

tells of a fairytale 

and a broken spell.

No tears to weep

for yesterday is gone

and no song to sing 

for the heart is without 

song. 

Special Love

One can love another 

another can love back, 

to love with the same passion

is a joy that will forever last.

More rare than the largest gem

and wonderful as can truly be 

when two love equally 

a display of fireworks you will see.

Nothing can change the love

as it grows stronger with time, 

filled with trust and faith 

it's a treasure of the divine. 

Written in a tale

is the story of the Gods,

where one searches for another

in the eternal sublime.

Sometimes it indeed happens

where two souls blend as one

and than there are the times 

we fall for a false love.

Whisper to the angels

speak of dreams

where two are one

in hoping that someday 

I'll find that special love.

Chapters

 Each moment that you're not near me

 and every hour that I am here alone, 

exhaust the heart and the soul as I 

feel the pain  of eternity without you.

The sun no longer shines in my morning

and the stars mean nothing at night,

it's just another page in a chapter 

of long and lonely life. 

Snow

 The seasons first snow

in a wintery storm,

from day to day 

a forevermore.

No tears to fall 

nor story to weep,

for tomorrow a chapter

less than bleak. 

Reaching , running 

yet standing still, 

too many mountains

and too many hills.

Rose of Spring

 The rose of spring 

in Autumn blooms away,

the season fickle sends

sunshine each day.

This extra gift

consist of hope and faith

an as I turn the page

I see the sunshine before 

the rain.

Song

 I sang a song,

it made right of the wrong,

gave meaning to the day 

in a fun and loving way.

I can't say what others think,

I only know what I believe.

that real love never fades

in the heart it remains. 

I sang a song

it made right of the wrong,

gave meaning to the day 

in a fun and loving way.

Alone

 Crying through life is like 

the tears of a sad movie. 

~

When the tears of the heart 

break the silence.

~

Beatles tune... "Some say I'm a 

dreamer but I'm not the only one."

~

There is no such thing as happily ever after...

~

Once upon a dream...all in a fairytale.

~

Who could walk out on love?

~

The child within wishes upon a star.

~

I turned the page

to find you still here,

like a script written

for only you and I to

share.

I can't leave this unsaid,

my darling I'll love you to the end,

nothing can change 

the way I fell my friend..

I turned the page

to find you still here,

written upon my heart

sunshine when it's dark.

Emotions to the Wind

 The winds roared thru the trees

dancing branches bending like knees,

a storm is moving in as the rain

continues to fall. 

Angels above the heavens high

wings spread across the sky,

a dream that brings you here

is all that I have.

Loneliness has settled in

that is how my day begins,

till I looked to the heavens high

and let out a sigh.

Sunday

 I watched a Sunday romance movie.  You know the kind where you laugh and then you cry and then it ends with a happy ever after. It is like riding a rollercoaster . You are up and your down and than you spin in circles all in a hours time. Life has the laughs and tears but I don't think it ends up with the happy ever after part. It is a rainy day what else can a person do but waste the day a way on a sappy movie. 

I laughed and I cried, 

I felt love and felt I died,

had the dream and hope in one

just dreaming of love.

I sang and then I danced,

I soared and took a chance,

I wished and held the faith

each and everyday.

I laughed and I cried,

i felt love and felt I died,

wanted you with all my heart

from the very start.

Chapters

The oak tree fell

and the willow died 

there is nothing left

but a void inside.

The sun revolves

for another day, 

morning , night 

as the chapters fade.

Season

 I watched the deer grazing peacefully

there amongst the chickens as they were pecking.

The sweater weather and the sun shining bright

awakened the spirit giving new meaning to this life.

It is not about a legacy or a story that people tell, 

the energy that we share is like a simple spell. 

Here today to share under the sun, 

but like the weather the storm removed our love. 

I watched the fish moving quickly down stream

as the sounds of a season fade suddenly. 

In the silence a whisper can be heard 

goodbye my sweet song birds. 

Faith

 The wind wrestled through the leaves on the trees,

the few that had not fallen with the Autumn breeze.

The season has spoken in a story book way, 

with beginnings and endings day after day. 

The sun still shines above the grey clouds,

as the rain keeps falling down, 

stars await to shine to replace the daylight

with the magic of rhyme. 

I won't let the darkness in , 

it's not worth the pain or the sin.

From day to day the heavens appear

with the hope that the angels will share.

The sweetness of true love

not a story of the games by one, 

I believe if you believe it too,

as we meet above the heavens blue.

~