Pictorial Prose

Pictorial Prose
Indulging my most lucid daydreams

Friday, December 23, 2016

2017...Hope and Faith

I am skipping Christmas and going straight to 2017. Goodbye 2016 I don't know how it was for the wine industry but it wasn't a very good year for family and friends. I spent the first months of spring two months at that, next to the bedside of unequivocally the devil. Kind of reminded me of a baby when they are sleeping  you say ahhh but when they wake up and screaming and you don't know why you shake your head. But again on a positive note as my son would say " we are on the right side of the green grass."
Summer was busy and working had me looking up , ok ok , so I am known to walk with my head in the clouds. It was quite the option than to keep my feet on the ground and deal with the negativity that can surround us on a regular basis. But all in all my head afloat I survived Summer with not much fanfare.
Labor day use to be our big holiday celebration and open house of sort  where friends and family came , ate , partied , laughed and played games...on a sad note most of them have passed away...no stopping the aging process lol. Well except for me I am forever ten years old...my son inherited the gene for forever ten years old. That is good and bad. Speaking of passing away, I had to say goodbye to another sibling, the down side to a big family is that you have more to lose. My sister went out with a big bang ...literally. Who in their right mind tries to beat a train...well key word there is "right mind." Yesterday my favorite Aunt passed away ...Good bye Aunt Josie...she was up in age and lived a good life but then again on the down side for all her family nothing puts a damper on the holidays than dying at Christmas etc. 
There were days I didn't think I would pull through , felt like hands around my neck squeezing the life out of me. Well I guess God just isn't finished with me yet, I am still here. My sister Lex is still hanging in there , health issues, dialysis, bronchitis, slipping on the ice destroying what little brain cells she has left she calls me and says" Rachel I don't think i'll be here to take care of you. Those are definitely not words I wanted to hear. But I thought about that, I am her little sister no matter how old we get. When I was a small child and my earliest memories were of her pushing me in the old carriage she was more of a mother than a older sister. Through the years as I got older the relationship changed she still was the big sister but then she became my best friend.  Watching her going through the struggles to survive is a hell in itself. 
Crappy as it all sounds there are some good times.....conversations where we laughed and a few where I cried. I come to realize rich or poor everyone has a little hell to deal with, okay some have a little bigger hell .. Life is a balance of circumstance , choice and well a bit of fate. Everyday is not going to be sunshine and blue skies and their is magical cure for the downside. well maybe reverts back to " thinking you're still ten years old "  They key is to bring balance...I didn't write the song but you have to sing...
"You've got to give a little, take a little 
And let your poor heart break a little
That's the story of,
That's the glory of love
You've got to laugh a little, cry a little
Before the clouds roll by a little
That's the story of,
That's the glory of love.
As long as there's the two of you
You've got the world and all its charms
And when the world is through with you
You've got each other's arms.
You've got to win a little, lose a little
And always have the blues a little
That's the story of,
That's the glory of love.

On this journey people come and go .... " hey I am not in kansas anymore" lol "people come and go so quickly here."    I  am grateful on this journey for those who have crossed my path and for those who dare to journey along side me. I am blessed and filled with love. Just thinking of having you in my life touches on many emotions, I am more at peace, filled with passion and a spiritual connection. At the core of my being when I am most fragile and filled with doubt I reach out and find you reaching back....yeah yeah yeah reached for your hand and  found your heart. 

But with each day that passes we still have hope and faith. I sure do hope 2017 is better and I have faith that it will be. 

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