2022 Hope and Faith

 Wow!! I can't believe I have made it to another spring. Pandemics, wars, natural disasters. I think not watching the news is a good thing. You know as they say, "ignorance is bliss." I watched as my grandson who is a year and a half as he played in the straw trying to find the Easter eggs I had hidden. I couldn't help but think, what kind of world are we leaving behind? The simplicity of childhood, when you don't get your way you just cry. I think he enjoyed the straw more than finding the eggs. It sure made for a nice day and nice memories. Nothing ever really turns out the way you expect. I find myself often retreating to the bedroom, daydreaming, thinking of you and wondering how you are.  But then it makes you think wow!! life is really short, and I spent a good bit of it daydreaming. I am caught up in one of those moments," what is ...is " can't change" what is" factor. So, as they say... "one day at a time." I lay here not able to fall asleep. It is one of those moments when all the experiences of life flash before you. Ok well not all of them a few of the amazing and a few of the troubling ones. So many goodbyes, a few hellos.  I prefer the hellos much more pleasant.  lol It must be the full moon, closer to earth it appears so much larger and then my eyes travels to the stars. Thinking of our star. brings soft smile to my face. You know they say sometimes " life could be worse." I don't want to know worse. The fox who must know my every movement and schedule, realized I wasn't out early in the morning to tend to my chickens. He managed to kill half the flock in mere minutes. I wouldn't have minded so much if he took a chicken, but he seems to kill just to kill. Ah that sounds a little bit like humans, killing for the sake of killing. I woke up because the dogs were barking. They are getting old and lazy. Don't keep an ear open for the sound of the fox anymore and yet they still bark at the wind. It brings me to killing. No matter whether you believe in religion, God or not, you have to admit good, and evil exist.  I was quite young when I became aware of the wrongs in the world. The first memory was the assassination of John F Kennedy and the Vietnam war. The Vietnam war seem to have the most affect as many of the men drafted came from the neighborhood and even closer as my brother was drafted. I remember writing him letters and receiving his in return. There have been wars since, but the Vietnam war seemed even more senseless if one more war could be more senseless than another. Because it is true there are no winners in a war. It is just men and women giving of their life for a reason their government claims necessary. The worst thing about war is that some soldiers come home in boxes, some don't come home at all and those who do are wounded physically or mentally.  Yet here we find ourselves at the start of a world war. Countries taking sides and everyday people dying for no damn good reason.  It is raining .. the old April showers brings May flowers. But I know I am getting older because the rain gives me a reminder of achy joints. The pandemic has me on house arrest and I think wow for two years I have spent in the hollow. Kind of reminds me before I got my drivers license and every day felt like house arrest. I think I have adjusted to being alone.  I have done some reading, gardening , tending to chickens etc. Peaceful in its own way. Listening to the water trickle over the rocks , I think to myself wish you were here sitting beside me ... my head on your shoulder. I'll end this on a good note with thoughts of you. xo