Holidays have a way of leading you down the path of expectation and finding you at the door of disappointment. Sounds pretty easy if you don't expect you are not disappointed. Sometimes I wonder if that in which we condition ourselves to be normal, even exist.
It is mothers day and being the parent to six grown children , you can't help but find yourself looking back over the years. I imagine my journey was stretched out a bit longer than most as there is an almost eighteen year age span between the youngest and the oldest. Trying to engage in positive memories I couldn't help but remember the precious moments as a new born was placed in my arms to only snap back and see the adult children I had raised. I am not sure if I am disappointed in who they have become or just surprised. I know they have no idea or even realize the sacrifice as my whole life was on a hold of sort.
My daughter just loved the Wizard of Oz and before she would go to bed each night she would put the dvd on. There is a part in the movie where Dorothy says, " don't go looking further than your own backyard, because if it isn't there you haven't lost it." My interpretation of that was kind of another old adage" the grass isn't greener." Well maybe the grass isn't greener but it didn't have to be this difficult mowing it.
In all reality maybe the era's of our times make us think differently. When the children were younger and did something wrong I would say " I am not a happy camper"
The sun is surely shining,
the grass is a fine color green
and everything seems perfect
except that you are not here with me.
The tears are overflowing,
a void from deep inside and
all I have is sweet memories
that shield this heart of mine.