Just another thursday without you!

Bitter cold, the winter chill has settled in right here.
Shiver like my heart of sadness since you disappeared.
Sadness found away to cradle and hold your memories near.
When I look back at my life a smile just reappears.
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I just wanna hold those moments and feel you next to me
I just wanna feel your spirit a rush of winter breeze
I just wanna wake up and know that you are here.
I just wanna believe that you love me dear.
I just wanna to hear the song and play the tunes of joy.

Gifts my Way!

Silent tears and silent wrongs are the words of the silent song.
Melancholy, a little blue replaced by the warmth of loving you.
Joy and laughter friendship true left a path of little clues.
Step by step I journey through a unguided day of new.
Ecstatic in rapture sing ,silent laughter and silent dreams.
There you are to accompany, beyond the silent memories.
A smile that leads the way, past the valley of dismay.
One where you’ll hear me loudly pray .. Thank you lord
for sending such a wonderful gifts my way.
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When you smile I smile!
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Singing> Laughter beyond the many tears , listen and you will hear ... raindrops falling, wash away the blues.

I can't help I let you find your way ... now my friend a place where you can stay ... where you'll find the blooms of our bouquet... ones that open with each new day..

Laughter beyond the many tears, listen and you will hear .. raindrops falling.. wash away the blues.

I know I can...

Singing> Close your eyes... The darkness soon to fall and heaven makes a call.

The winter chill and breeze left trees without there leaves
Now stands my heart bare for you to see , what you've done me.

Close your eyes ... The darkness soon to fall and heaven makes a call.

A blanket of covers me ... filled with loneliness

Till I turned to see my angels follow me.

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The human psychic a scary place to be.The challenges of a lifetime can be overwhelming and tiring. My grandmother filled with life had lived a long and quite healthy life. I wondered as she met with death of family and friends how she must have felt. The ability of the mind to cope with less then kind situations .. Then I realized how blessed we are , how many angels have crossed our path. How do you thank a angel?

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I am giving the little engine some competition... I know I can....

Good Night!!

The beauty of life in its simplest forms and there is where I stand aside the mass confusion that doesn't make sense of humanities failure to live in peace. I have listened to arguments on the various sides ... Is it out about defense, or aggression? Are we doing our best to protect the small world in which we live? For all the good the evil still finds away to thrive. Boggled by the destruction that is seen in every walk of life , from wealthy to economically poor and the educated and those who have yet to reach their full capacity.
Smile till it hurts.... That's the only pain I would like to share. The tears that fall are for a world of people who missed the beauty in a moment of a newly risen day. The gifts are as simple as a scent of a winter rose that forced a bloom and feels the challenge of a early fallen snow. The sounds of silence as they sing in your heart and the beauty of diversity that really is only a camouflage of one.
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Each event I do there is at least one person who really stands out as exceptionally strong or exceptionally brave or exceptionally challenged. I feel a kinship of sort as I see our less then unique bond to one another, as it is nothing more then human bonding of hearts . Could be a smile , a hug or a word of kindness but the caress that is felt the longest is that of acceptance and understanding of the plight and struggle of one human being. People talk about change in mass views. If at the same moment each person smiled at the person next to them how many lives would be changed.

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If everyone felt pain of heart once in their life ,They truly would know the joy of heart when they met with it.

FRAGILE OR SIMPLY SOFTENED WITH FAITH?

Fragile as a China doll that sits upon the shelf !

I thought about my weakness and strength's that appeared over the years. Determination is based on decisions and there is a time and place for everything. I view life through a varied faucet of crystal ,it constantly morphs depending on the refraction of light. Therefore each interpetation of a situation is unique to the moment of quest that searches to understand.. The difference in which the mind conceives each conflict shakes the inner soul. The old adage "let your conscience be your guide" There were times that a curtain of darkness blackened my choices, a lapse in judgement found me drowning in my own indecisiveness. Frightened as the shadow behind me reminds me of how many times I stumbled rather then stood tall to face off my own demons. In my heart there was no doubt what I felt, how I saw life and the right and wrongs of choice . Challenging the tears that forever drip with sadness , I battle a lifetime of misinterpretation of my own reflection.Was it weak to not flee or was it stronger to hang on to what I knew till I was strenghtened with time.
No perfection in the movement of the rivers quake, the movement of the water dances to the memories of the past. I did not hold to yesterday nor see tomorrow, I was keeping my head above the water. Each semblance of decision as minimal as it seems directed a path that sent detours through life.Circling and circling till a gate opened and I stumbled on my own truth. The lessons of life carried their own burden ,as all is so dependent on the choice of the moment.

The China doll appears fragile but the polished bisque is stronger then one would imagine. Fallen from the shelf it lays shaken a fine hair line crack run along the arm of the weakened bisque. A curtain opens am I holding on to you or are you holding on to m?.The hands of the clock cannot be moved backward nor will the bisque ever be the same but it can be repaired. The choices were not evident nor was Simplicity the title of life.

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There are many things I cannot change and many questions that lay unanswered. I am so sorry I wasn't stronger sooner.

Autumn Hue

Clouds stretched across the sky of blue cast shades of purple and a hint of rose to perfect the Autumn hue.A break in the clouds combat with battle grey, a etching of a heart where sadness heavily weighs.
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Singing> Memories a mere review of the times I shared with you.
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A web that caught me by surprise, snagged my heart and there I lie.
Intricate a tangled mess left me weaved into obsess.
My dreams no longer my own, at least I am not alone.
I hanging by tomorrows dreams of you.
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To Love is to quiver from the chill of your presence no matter the distance!
I felt you in ways that only a heart can touch, embraced with hope!

Maybe two...

Not a trace of additional light source and yet the pitch black of the night appeared lit. My eyes accustomed to the darkness and there I stood alone in the eve surrounded by the silence. My eyes quickly scanned the stillness?No arms to hold nor breath of night , the stillness challenged my heart to fight.

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I molded to perfection and placed you in my dreams. I forgot that clay hardens and brittle may it be. I’m afraid one day you’ll shatter and alone again I'll be. So next time I am lonely and want you next to me I’m gonna hold my pillow and create one fantasy!

The Attack of the "They Say"

It’s the attack of the they say people.. "believe only half of what you see and nothing of what you hear".I have found myself in a repetitious struggle for truth. Do we want the truth or do we just simply want to believe?I want to believe there is goodness in everyone and that a rainbow indeed ends and the golden treasure lie within the gift of friendship.I want to believe that there is indeed a reason for everything and everyone and that the lessons in life are not a attempt to undermine humanity, but to lay a foundation of growth and understanding and most importantly bares acceptance for the beauty of diversity.I want to believe that what my heart feels and my mind challenges is beyond surreal and touches on reality.I want to believe that the thread of humanity that ties us all together as human beings will only strengthen with time. want to believe you have felt my love , held it in your heart and embraced it through the night.I want believe that there was some truth to your words and that you really care.