I lay awake in the early morn, before the sun had risen in the hollow. The darkness consuming and my mind a tease to the spirit. The moment was a mixture of reality, desire and expectation, each pulling in a different direction. Desperately grasping to pull it all together or to let it all go, not sure exactly which would enlighten the moment with a sense of peace. Breaking away from the moment, I went about with my usual morning ritual. I thought of the many people who had come into my life and what it was they actually gifted upon the day. Why is it that sorrow still was able to surface in an otherwise normal day? Ahhh, I thought to myself this is " expectation" , expectation always leads to a certain amount of disappointment. I thought about my daughter and the time we spent together. I found she shared in some of my own weaknesses. I was telling her to be strong, when I myself felt insecurities of various forms surface.
I am not sure if over the years I was so intrigued by what various readers pull out of my blog archives, as I was amazed at my own balance and insight of a past moment. Focusing on a post a year ago, I saw a depth of emotion that heightened by awareness of today with a reminders of both the past and the present. Somehow expectation was dusted aside as reality of true love surrendered and my heart again welcomed the experience.
"You cannot control, possess, destroy, fill with hate, touch on revenge or obsess on love, for love is.. all that is . The beauty that surrounds you, the sun that has yet to rise and the wind that embraces all of winter with its deep chill. It is the laughter that seeps from the soul, and the flame that burns from the deepest part of your heart. It shares in the warmth and cradles like a baby the mystery of life. Love is free to soar the heavens and walk the earth, it touches deeper then human flesh, for love in its true form is as endless as time and space. "
I reread my past thoughts and I knew no matter what situation I was caught up in, that love had surfaced and held my hand ,embraced my heart and soared with my soul. I closed my eyes in only that I may come to terms with reality and dance with my desire upon the stage of life.
When I said friends forever
it doesn’t mean till we disagree.
When I said I love you, it wasn't
for the moment in time.
When I laugh it’s not because I’m laughing
at you but celebrating the joy of life with you.
When we bonded, it’s was not because I chose to
, but because a higher power made it so.
When I dance in the clouds, it’s not a gesture
of fantasy,but a glimpse at reality.
This is Forever’s Embrace