Pictorial Prose dances to the rhythm of the soul and the magic of nature. Each day is a journey through life and with it a view of the wonder and joy of the heart and mind with an explosion of passion and desire.
The opposite of to live is to ...
Not sure why I am emotional this morning. I am not necessarily melancholy but overwhelmed as I look at the season that is just beginning. I have always had a reason for the struggles. Make sure the children had a stable home, provide, college etc. There were even times as I look back when there was a freedom of thought that set me above the clouds. I guess I never felt so much alone as I do now or so lost in the scheme of things.
Screaming in silence. My mother's advice in life was " you made your bed, you lie in it" " if you think you have it bad, someone else has it worse" " why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free" Yep that was the extent of her lessons of life.
Okay so I am having a good cry and hopefully getting that all out of my system before I start the day. Heading out with a friend to celebrate her birthday. I have to travel on a highway that I am not fond of. I must have been the oldest sixteen year old to ever get a license and I still do not like traveling on some roads.
The " little engine that could" was always one of my favorite childhood stories to read to the children. So much so that I kept a framed painting of it above my work desk. As the train tries to make it over the mountain..." I think I can, I think I can, I think I can, I knew I could."I have come to realize it is not what happens but how we deal with what happens.
When my son Nicholas was two years old and we were camping he had a crowd of people around him and he was singing perfectly a song that I had always sung to the children. The people all yelled out" look he is so cute and he knows the words so well. " "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy, when skies are grey. You'll never know dear, how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away." He knew all the verses to the song. All I know is that I did the best I could and hopefully that is good enough. That day down the road they will know the sacrifice, the love and the faith that it took to get them to that place in their life.
I am not sure if I love or hate the song by the Beatles " the long and winding road" as it reminds of how long a journey and how difficult at times it was. Oh yeah, a lot of people had it worse. Lot of people would say" you are very strong Rachel." I don't feel very strong today.
Sings> You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are grey
You never know, dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away
The other night, dear, as I lay sleeping
I dreamt I held you in my arms
When I awoke, dear, I was mistaken
So I hung my head, and I cried
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are grey
You never know, dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away
I'll always love you and make you happy
If you will only say the same
But if you leave me to love another
You'll regret it all one day
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are grey
You never know, dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away.
~
So leaving this moment on a positive note. Here goes...
You bring the laughter
placing joy in the day,
calming my soul in a
warm kind of way.
Hugs and kisses
are merely of thought
but the love we share
cannot be forgot.
Bring on the blue skies
let the season begin,
lets take on the field
where daisy's are blooming.
Not here in my arms
but for sure in my heart,
you have been here from
the very start.
Feel the kisses
I've sent thru the wind,
from me to you till
the end.
Living and loving
each day with you,
that is what these
dreams do.
Reached wit the hand
and found with the heart,
the strength to unite
what nothing can part.
Up on the heavens
or here on earth,
I'll cherish the love
for all that it's worth.
Lips to lips a sweet kiss,
the feelings of bliss,
whispers of love for you
and scripted in the heavens
blue.
I scrunched my pillow and held it tight
as if I was kissing you good night ,
only to wake with the morning sun
and dreams of sweet delight.
I smiled as I whispered your name
even though it sounds a bit insane,
with wishes of true happiness to
quickly infiltrate your day.
Time takes to passing by
like a ship caught up at sea
and I find myself daydreaming
you here with me.
I scrunched my pillow and held it tight
as if I were kissing you good night,
only to wake with the morning su
and dreams of sweet delight.
~
The season we call spring is not cooperating this year as temperatures are in the below normal range. Though the birds especially the golden finches are molting and getting their golden color of summer. Wish I was ever so optimistic as I stay hidden under the blanket a little longer this morning. I need a push or pull ... as the rooster calls out for breakfast.
The more siblings you have, the more you have to lose and the more heartache you feel.There was a big age difference between my brother and sisters and I. They were all much older or younger and more times than not caught up in their own world. Which really made me feel at times like an only child. I know that life and death is not unique to anyone person and that everyone at one time or another has to say goodbye. No matter how many years have passed I can't help but miss them even if they didn't attend my tea parties.
I don' t know why my mind has been drifting back to childhood. I guess in ways the early years somehow guide us in the present. I have always had this fascination with china dinnerware. I guess like most little girls , pretending to have tea parties is pretty much the norm. But somehow you don't always lock in the many memories but a few stand out , almost as if they have become a permanent fixture in your memory bank.
In the old houses in the city, the basements or at least one of the rooms use to be dirt. My father spent a lot of time in the basement, where he set up shop and worked fixing television sets and other random electrical items. When he wasn't working he had a ham radio and would talk to people in different languages from all over the world. I found that even at the young age of six the magic of it all to be quite fascinating. Not always understanding what he was saying or what the people on the other end of the ham radio said, it still seemed special in some unusual way. I would set up my table with various china that didn't match. The china dishes my mother no longer wanted and I would pretend that I had guest from all over the world. The guest which was usually my baby doll sat on the other side of the make shift table. That was my first experience with the pretty dishes that not everyone thought was so special.
For some odd reason that visual, the curtain that separated the two basement rooms, the atmosphere, the little table set for a tea party and the imaginary world that I created all blended with the sounds of various languages and are as clear as the first time I heard them.
On holidays I feel like that little girl as I set the dinner table in a formal way. My daughter always says , " It's okay if you decide this year to use paper plates." I don't think she gets it or understands the simple joy I feel when hosting. In away whether for a moment or an hour nothing else matters than pleasing the people who have come to share in my world.
I turned a basement into a palace, cardboard box into a dining table, a dirt floor into carpeting and miss matched china into a party. I created a world where I was queen for a day or at least for the moment.
So back to reality. I went shopping today and picked up a few for me items, one being my polka dot muck boots....oh I will be feeding the chickens in such class...lol. Or at least I won't be sliding down the hill with the feed and watering bucket.
When it comes down to it we are never guaranteed tomorrow, so in this format of blogging I want to take a moment and express my love ...forever and a day or is that to the moon and back? That is the coolest thing about writing, when we are long gone, the words will live on. The documentation of heart and soul to define a beautiful love story. Pouring you a cup of tea...
It is official the calendar date has us celebrating the first of spring. Of course the weather isn't cooperating as well as the animals , birds and flowers as they go about as if their wasn't any snow on the ground. As I walked the gardens I could see crocus in bloom , daffodils and tulips 8 inches above the ground, birds gathering twigs to build their nest.. My first view of the ever so welcomed Red Robin, who was bobbing about the lawn looking for worms. Actually it's not the warmth that causes all creatures to head out in celebration of spring. Flowers, trees and yes birds and animals base all that they do on light. Ah yes the days are getting lighter longer.
We have conquered winter and have entered a new season. Anxious to open the window and doors to bring in fresh air, instead await another snow storm. Of course it is a here today gone tomorrow kind of snow.
As I booked events to work, it was as if I was racing time. The problem with that is time always wins and with each day we are that much older. Sometime I take a moment to look back and some years seem like a haze is over them. But never the less I continue down this path of crazy. There were times I had to tell myself to " stop and smell the roses." There is a lot to be learned from nature. One can learn how to weather a storm, bloom when skies are gray and yes teach us about life and death. There is as they say" a time for everything. "
Today though grateful I am not necessarily celebratory nor melancholy but rather indifferent. I want more proof spring has arrived beside the catkins on the willow trees. I want warm weather!!! I want to complain it is so hot , I need a fan on.
Your Lips from Mine
We are here together,
on bright and cloudy days,
to share in our love and in
finding our own way.
Hearts and souls bonded,
mountains that fade away,
brings with it a pleasure,
making life feel like a warm
day in May.
Smiles that can't be broken,
hearts that dry up the rain,
souls that live on forever,
forever and a day.
Dreams that cast my love
visuals that light the day,
in a dance in the kitchen
to steps of our own ballet.
Touching without reaching,
feelings hold you by myside,
a kiss sent via the heavens
to your lips from mine.
I can't believe how long it has been since I started developing skin care. The first product I ever made was "Devotion the Love Lotion" It was the first product I took to a trade show and sold out of . Two more years and I will be celebrating my 20 th Anniversary of Devotion Love Lotion. There is a bit of Irony to making a skin care product that enhances romance to a woman who actually lacked romance. Time has taken me on quite the journey. Raising children, the struggles and of course the highs that come with creating a product and knowing so many people enjoy quality and fun in one product.
I look back and wonder what I could have done differently ...but we know how the woulda, coulda , shoulda thing works out can't change yesterday only improve upon it for tommorow. This is like an infomerical This is one of the youtubes we did , though we did alot of unprofessional advertisements lol. Well part of growing with the business I guess.
I really don't don't know what had drawn me to this , other than a survival mode. You do what you have to , to make life work. I see life separated into quarters. Young and foolish, mother and wife and than a period of time where I was just me, without thought or expectation , just myself. I think about who I am now, most of my customers call me Autumn and yes Autumn is a big part of Rachel. The memories , the experiences of a lifetime.
Sometimes you look back and you think if I could have done things different.It comes down to "if I knew than what I know now." I am not sure why the swell of tears surfaced at this moment ,it wasn't always an easy journey and many times though I believe in choice , I do believe a lot of what happens is out of our hands and yes belongs to destiny.
Puzzles are interaction each piece interlocking. That is how I feel about the opportunities I have been granted and the people I have met , they interlock and find a place within my heart.
My son recently bought me a quill pen as a gift. As I dipped the pen in ink and began to write , I thought about how we are different to different people. Family, mother, sister, friend, customers, acquaintance, lover and the impact that leaves in everyone, like an imprint on our soul.
As difficult as life can sometimes be I am ever so grateful for everything that I have been blessed with, because on the contrary the" glass is half full. "
When I Need You
Leo Sayer
When I need you
I just close my eyes and I'm with you
And all that I so want to give you
It's only a heartbeat away
When I need love
I hold out my hands and I touch love
I never knew there was so much love
Keeping me warm night and day
Miles and miles of empty space in between us
The telephone can't take the place of your smile
But you know I won't be travelin' forever
It's cold out but hold out and do I like I do
When I need you
I just close my eyes and I'm with you
And all that I so want to give you babe
It's only a heartbeat away
It's not easy when the road is your driver
Honey that's a heavy load that we bear
But you know I won't be travelin' a lifetime
It's cold out but hold out and do like I do
Oh, I need you
When I need love
I hold out my hands and I touch love
I never knew there was so much love
Keeping me warm night and day
When I need you
I just close my eyes
And you're right here by my side
Keeping me warm night and day
I just hold out my hands
I just hold out my hand
And I'm with you darlin'
Yes, I'm with you darlin'
All I want to give you
It's only a heartbeat away
It is as if winter is tapering off in its merge into spring. Waking up to snow in the morning to find it melt by midday. Even so I have had my fill of the wintery white stuff. I know that spring is near I saw the first of the robins bobbing for worms and the crocus have popped through the ground in bloom. It is staying lighter longer and willow tree is in bud but with all these little reminders I am still anxiously awaiting the warm sunny days of spring.
It was an extremely quiet day and I spent it doing some cleaning and cooking and lounging. Though I have felt as if I accomplished much. I prefer to stay busy it not only keeps my hands busy but my mind as well. It is a Styx music moment " come sail with me."
It is quite the revelation
formidable shadows of will,
to gaze upon the heart
in a moment so frail.
The souls interpretation
delicately woven thru life,
from one soul to another
the words left to recite.
The yesterdays of silence
reigned upon the night,
until I heard the whispers
like a song bird singing in
flight.
The heart seeks in solace
a comforting embrace,
the calm of the heavens
in our own special place.
The script indelible
can not be erased,
written in the heavens
and followed thru the day.
The dance upon the clouds,
where you and I entwine,
heart and soul together
till the end of life.
Share in all the laughter,
wipe away the tears,
no days of darkness only
light of love appears.
Unlock the gates
the masterpiece revealed,
as two hearts came together
to form a protective shield.
No signs of heartache
nor pain of memories,
for the joy of love has
written its only stories.
Gaze upon the galaxies
of a cool and clear night
and know that I am with
you for the rest of my life.
Since I can remember music and sound had been used as away to calm and relax. My father was extremely music oriented and love to sing and dance. I guess that is where I got my love for dancing in the kitchen. When I was a child and had a difficult time sleeping he would place his pocket watch under my pillow and I would fall asleep to the sound of the ticking. To this day sounds are still very instrumental in my moods. My father would say I was very sensitive and I was never quite sure what that meant. But as I matured I found that I am in tune with my surroundings and that sounds and music can either lift the spirit, excite it or calm and relax. I guess that is where the old adage came from " music soothes the savage beast."The computer placed a world of music at my fingertips from ethnic, folk, classical , oldies and a wide array of music.
I have fond memories of sitting around the campfire singing and Tommy belting " when Irish eyes are smiling." I have made a habit of personally selecting memories that bring the most amount of joy. I thought I'd write my own song for us.
The morning foggy
and skies are dark
and the owl hooting
strayed from a far.
Each morning surprises
with all life can bring,
when I started dancing
and began to sing.
The mountains high
and the rivers deep,
couldn't keep your
love from me.
I reached thru the darkness
with heart, soul and mind
and out of the blue came
the love of you and I .
Paradise is all it can be,
when you hold my hand
through the night to my
morning day dream.
La, la, la my sweet.
La, la, la my love,
we took on the earth
and the heavens above.
They call it an earworm when a song gets stuck in your mind and you find yourself humming it thru out the day. When the song " what the world needs now" came out in 1965 it was a time of love and war. The sixty's represent the assassination of John F Kennedy, Martin Luther King and the Vietnam war but I also think it was a change in the way people thought. Sometimes this change was reflected in the music of the era.
I can remember that time period as a young person. Laying across my bed, daydreaming and thinking how I could change the world and make it a better place. Not much has changed on the world stage from that time period as we have had other wars and way to much violence.
I use to think if the people of the world thought the way I did than we could live in a sort of Utopia or a place of peace where everyone works for the common good. That is the part of growing up where you realize that everyone is not on the same page. It was the music group the Beatles that came out with the song " Some say I'm a dreamer but I am not the only one." I can relate to that song..we are not the only one.
I laughed to myself as I thought about the turmoil that surrounds us at times and the beauty of our place in it all. You can go ahead call me the " hopeless romantic or yes the dreamer" that believes you can live on love. Each day comes with a reminder , I reached for your hand and found your heart. What a gift life is and with our ability to share it in ways that places our heart and soul in its own sort of Utopia. In the playground of the mind and with the heart and soul we embrace with a simple form of love that makes all of life a better place.
In some ways I don' t think we grow older, we just take the eras of experience along with us. We are all the ages of that experience. I still see through the eyes of a hopeful ten year old, the rebellion of a sixteen year old and through all the ages in which experience has engrained within us. Oh yeah that is what I have been told "we don't get older, we get wiser."
I dedicate this post to love and all the beauty that love brings to us. It is the smile that I wake up with and the dreams that I fall asleep to each night. Perfect in thought an embrace of love conquering all evil. I laughed at the image that came to mind , we need our very own super hero costumes. Bowing to my King, your Queen awaits you. Like running through a field of flowers and then laying down upon the green grass to find you bending down to give me a kiss. Oh yes sings, " what the world needs now is love , sweet love ,no not for some but for everyone." That is my visual at the moment as I allow the simplicity of such a love guide me in all that I am and all that I do.
Chorus]
What the world needs now
Is love, sweet love
It's the only thing that there's just too little of
What the world needs now
Is love, sweet love
No, not just for some, but for everyone
Look, we don't need another mountain
There are oceans and rivers
Enough to cross, enough to last
Until the end of time
[Chorus]
Lord we dont need another meadow
There are corn fields and wheat fields enough to grow
There are sun beams and moon beams enough to shine
In this existence the essence of life ageless entities of love bring their own gift of life. Living to love, loving to live both a blessing that life gives. Created in the heavens sent down upon the earth, love and happiness gives our entities a worth. Living to love loving to live both a blessing that life gives. Treasures befitting of a king and queen from the heart and soul and everything in between. Living to love, loving to live both a blessing that life gives Grasp the moment forever will it be we found our place in a place called eternity.
Al di la, I wondered as I drifted where you were
Al di la, the fog around me lifted, there you were
In the kiss that I gave was the love I had saved for a lifetime
Then I knew all of you was completely mine.
Non credevo possibile,
Se potessero dire queste parole:
Al di lá del bene più prezioso, ci sei tu.
Al di lá del sogno più ambizioso, ci sei tu.
Al di lá delle cose più belle.
Al di lá delle stelle, ci sei tu.
Al di lá, ci sei tu per me, per me, soltanto per me.
Al di lá del mare più profondo, ci sei tu.
Al di lá de i limiti del mondo, ci sei tu.
Al di lá della volta infinita, al di la della vita.
Ci sei tu, al di la, ci sei tu per me.
La la la la la...
La la la...
(Ci sei tu...)
(Ci sei tu...)
