Pictorial Prose

Pictorial Prose
Indulging my most lucid daydreams

Saturday, May 16, 2009

I need you...

The conflict between what we need and what we
want is in response to the hunger of both heart and soul.
The power of a smile is seen
through the images of love.

The stars Were Shining Bright

I woke in the night to the stars shining bright, I knew you weren't far, as we shared the same star. Awake till sunrise, I took it all in stride, I knew, you were here with me and you never left my side. All a glow, as if no one else could know the secrets of the heart, which you play the leading part. Love had found me here and erased all signs of despair, there is no letting go of the love which continues to grow. I dance for all to see, it's the gift you gave to me, the love that is always felt as each day you melt my heart. I woke in the night to the stars shining bright, I knew you weren't far, as we shared the same star. Awake till sunrise, I took it all in stride, I knew you were here with with me and you never left my side.
To share in the light of the stars,
to grasp the power of the sun,
is to feel the closeness of hearts,
as we meld from two into one.

I can't think about tomorrow, nor dwell on yesterday, the moment holds me captive in the dreams that never fade. I can see you clearly in the reflections of life, from the moment you entered my heart you lit the dark of night.

I keep on holding, I'm afraid of letting going, the shadows are following and I don't know which way to go. One fallen tear drop holds the memories and mixes it with desire to lead beyond the dreams.

Troubled spirits grasp for what they don't know, wandering in circles, troubled they fail to grow. Desire leads us to walls mountain high, if hadn't been for faith, I would have failed to seen the sign.

As I read on tobeme's blog about people needing people, I thought about the timing and the people who have come into my life and how it alters the journey. I have always enjoyed various styles of music and lyrics, they are so important in the way that they cross the many barriers to deliver their message. One that I find myself singing a good bit is " People, people who need people are the luckiest people in the world"
I attended commencement at Penn State today and as I looked on at the class of 2009 , I couldn't help but think of what the future holds for the hopeful. Looking back at my own life, I reviewed my own dreams of the past and the expectations that I held for myself. In one perspective the time passed so fast that I could hardly grasp the lessons from the experiences and in other ways it felt slow without the expected accomplishments. I teared a few times as I glanced over at my son in his cap and gown, there was a certain amount of pride to view a stage in the ongoing educational journey. It was as if time was documenting life with mile markers of achievement. Sometimes these mile markers are not part of the norm, occasionally our experiences of success and failure in our everyday journey open and close a chapter.
I myself have felt an unbalance in life, where I was strongly leading to one side or another. Why was it that some people seem to have a clearer path, no gravel, no brush, no mountains and others had one to many mountains to climb. My mind drifted back to the middle of the week, a woman stayed a bit to long to talk. Trying to get my work done, I kind of brushed her off a little. There were a few things that she said that really stuck with me, one was about her choices, her path, her journey. She said I really don't like it here in Greene County, but I am here cause through my experiences I can make a difference in others peoples life. She was once a hardcore drug user, who did many things to get her next high. Clean for the last fifteen years, she said I celebrate each day, but more importantly I gain strength and helping others to find their way and become strong. She went on to say, had she not had the experience but the education, she would never have known how to help others. I thought to myself that lesson to have to go through. She spun in a circle her hands in the air and she said " its okay to be me" After we finished in conversation she gave me a big hug, she said 'you know why you are here? You have been given an opportunity to experience and with your intelligence you are capable to express your emotions and that is your gift. Sharing in your experiences to help others" If I gained nothing from her conversation, the reality is that we do experience to learn, to gain strength. I thought about years back where I had only two choices, one was to be stagnant and suffocate so that I would drown in my own fear and the other option was to reach out. There have been several people along the way that somehow reached out and took my hand and guided me to another plateau. Still there were mountains in front of me, ones I have yet to climb. How was this all going to come into play and who would benefit from my experiences? Sometimes I feel like running when I have yet to walk and find that I still crawl because I have stumbled over my insecurities.
The chapters of our life are filled with pages of our needs and desires. The tears still fall because I saw a different path then the one I chose. I don't know if maybe this woman was right and the other was chosen so that I may help those who cannot help themselves. On the other hand our needs are really quite simple, I rate companionship high on the list, for it is wonderful to write and receive a response, to hear a voice on the other end of the phone, to love and be loved. How simple are these needs and how easily we find ourselves in situations complicated by our own desire.
It is so important to challenge loneliness as we reach out to others in need. I reached out to you and you reached back. Life is indeed a large puzzle and those who think they have found all the pieces have missed the true challenge of life. The more I know, the more I realize how little I really do understand. One thing is for sure if we allow fear next to our soul we keep our soul grounded and fail to complete the journey.


Mark said...

Ah, so many teachers enter and exit our life. You are blessed to have so many who come into your life and they are blessed to know you if only for a moment.
The people who you perceive to have clear paths would most likely tell you that their path has not been one of rose pedals, however you only see what they choose to reveal.
Congratulations to your son! Good to be Penn State Proud! Beautiful words as always. Your thoughts and words touch mine.
I am humbled that you found inspiration in my writing. Have a glorious day Rachel! Stay warm, going through a cold spell in PA.

Rachel C Miller said...

That would mean life is a costume party, until we decide to take off the mask. Truth reveals itself more so through actions then words.
Thank you for the congrats. it is always an honor to see our youth achieving.
If not for inspiration, we would be living in a book with only one chapter... no hope in that.
Again thank you for visiting the blog and commenting.