Missed opportunities, wrong place and wrong time , there are many quotes that reference the obstacles, decisions and fate itself. I have always struggled with a phrase my mother use to say " when you think you have it bad, someone else has it worse." I never liked that because I believe we all have our own heaven and hell to deal with. How can we go about as they say " comparing apples to oranges" Life is more about recognizing the gift of a moment rather than the negative. Everyone has a different way of looking at it,. Years back I was told that "now was the time to reap the rewards of our harvest" and another comment was that of " you are the company you keep and still another " ignorance is bliss."
Looking at where I am at in this moment in time, I look back knowing very well we cannot clear the canvas, only add to it. I always prided myself in not having regrets, but in many ways I wish had the opportunity to replay chapters and like those books where you choose different endings, redirect that path by choosing a different direction.
I have a difficult time dealing with my own vulnerabilities. Knowing very well that each of us at any given moment can fade like water evaporating in the sun. My sister made me laugh , my fathers favorite saying was " you have to pay the piper. " In her bold way she said, well we will leave out a few words of exactly how she said it . lol She said basically" screw the piper, who the hell is the piper anyway? and I am getting .#$%^&** tired of paying the@#$%^^ piper. " The phrase " to pay the piper meant to bear the unfavorable consequences of one's actions or pleasures. Consequences, everything we do or don't do has a consequence. My daughter said" I want to write my life in pen, son when I make a mistake I can't erase it. " She doesn't want to forget her mistakes, because that is how we learn. But what if we keep making the same mistakes over and over again? How much do we have to pay for the decisions we make ?
As my sister Lex would say "Damn that Piper!! How much more do we have to pay?"