Pictorial Prose

Pictorial Prose
Indulging my most lucid daydreams

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

I'm Always Chasing Rainbows

I drifted back it was the very first art show I ever did. It was almost twelve years ago, my Audrey was just a little girl, possibly six years old. Things could have been a lot different that day, had I made different choices. Instead that moment in time opened a gateway to a fascinating journey. It was the second poem I ever sold, the customer sent me a thank you and a article out of the paper which said " you are exactly where God wants you to be, don't stop" I do think I have always been chasing rainbows. But this is my story, my journey, my path, my moment in time. Choice has the ability to reroute the moment, change course and lead us in different directions. I at times felt lost in my own journey, looking for someone to partner with me. My mind is quite scrambled as I look back at my parents , grand parents and those that came before them. It wasn't until this moment that it occurred to me, that we have to fulfill our own destiny, whether someone wants walk side by side with us or not. Though of course " it is the side by side, that compliments me." Each chapter of my life was meant to fill the pages that once lay blank, empty of the journey. In many ways I don't believe I chose the direction, it seems as if destiny rules. Throughout the years there have been many lessons of life. Sometimes I have forgotten the location or the teacher who guided me, but as life would indeed detail, the moment surfaces and you are instructed or led down a path. This one time , it was a little mining town, that was struggling to find a new way of progressing without the industry. Each year they had their street festival that brought the neighbors together in celebration of summer. One women that stands out, her name faded with time but her lesson, remains within me. She had lost her soul mate at a very young age. I asked her " how do you deal with it?" she said "my friends have helped me, not one person can be your everything." That lesson stuck with me, because I realized along the way, different people brought different experiences into my life. I find winter to be a troubling time, almost controlling in an abusive way. That it isn't until you figure out that we all hold the reigns into our life,to what road we travel,when to rest and when to run and of course when to walk. As I try not to ramble , I think of my own soul mate. The one who brings a smile to my face, when all you can do is cry. Who holds my hand when everyone else is eager to let it go and of course understands me better than I understand yourself. I thought I had a void within me and of course you get it when you understand that there is no void. Everything happens, happens for a reason. The touching of hearts, embrace of souls, the heartache and happiness. It is indeed an amazing journey. Friend of mine once said you are a nice person in a bad situation. But that would be true of all of us at one time or another. I was always afraid of being alone. Going to sleep alone, waking up alone. Ever since I can remember, even as a child, there was something to be fearful of in the darkness. But I am not alone as I travel, I take the magic of memory and the warmth of love along with me.

  The darkness is but space
 lit by the warmth of your heart.

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