Like fire in the wind...

I will never be the woman I was yesterday or the woman I am today,

as tomorrow writes a new page in a very different chapter.

 

 

 

I was awakened at 2 am by a brim stroking thunder and lightening storm. The flashes of light lit the night sky, reminding us of the power of mother nature. I pulled the blanket closer and closer and eventually tried to hide from the storm that seem to penetrate my bedroom window. It is natures way of reminding us of our vulnerabilities. I find myself looking at a rather gray day, knowing fully that behind the clouds the sun still shines.

 

 

 

 

 

Experience leads the path to a greater understanding,

there we find the road of wisdom.

 

 

It is not so much about acceptance

but more about the reality of truth.

 

 

I have been caught up in watching the Hays baby eagles on CBS live. Their tiny lives vulnerable,without the convenience  of a cover or roof structure. The eaglets battled the storms of spring again in a reminder that we all have ' our cross to bare'

 

 

Sometimes we are hung up on our own insecurities,

we fail to realize that everyone has a few unwritten pages.

 

 

 

 

You are the sun,

I am the rain,

we are the season

that you see today.

 

 

You are the love,

I am the sorrow,

we are the magic

of another day.

 

 

You are the fire,

I am the wind,

we are the tomorrows

that have yet to begin.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Good Morning Sunshine

Life is an on going classroom with each day providing new lessons. Trials and triumphs, the substance of each chapter. I find that respect of diversity allows a person to grow. Knowing that we each have our own rung on the ladder. It is the similarities and differences within each of us , that both brings us together and keeps us apart.
Yesterday was a true celebration of spring, the weather was as near perfect as it could be. Just the right amount of sunshine, soft gentle breeze and blue skies. It brought people from all walks of life together in the celebration of the wild onion called ramps. One of the first true signs that spring is underway.
The weekend was so busy that I had little time to think, but the irony is that after the weekend ended,  I was given a clarity of thought. As I ponder on yesterdays long gone and what my tomorrows will bring, I find myself puttering through the reality of life and love. It is with retrospect that I look back at a journey that was indeed filled with many lessons of life. In many ways it was as if I were rereading the same chapters of life over and over. This is where the clarity came in, stuck right in the middle of I. I consisted of my heart, emotions, love, hope and faith with an eternal will. I'll call  it what it is, there I was for so many years trapped in the chapter titled denial. As I review past and present chapters with much more clarity than ever before, I am now more capable of skipping through the book, ending a few chapters and moving forward in writing a new one. Life by all means is filled with more than a few hello and goodbye's.

Goodbye Yesterday

I can't changed my yesterdays,
they're all a part of me
Lessons that I carry
for all eternity.

Life is a poem,
with and without rhyme,
written in the heart
scripted to the mind.

I gaze out the window
like many times before,
knowing that tomorrow
has so much in store.

It is the strangers in our life,
that lead us on our way,
with reminders that love
warms like the sun's rays.


~
Good morning sunshine,
it's a  bright new day,
filled with laughter and
the love that just won't fade.

I am so ever grateful,
truthful as can be
that I have walked this earth
and you walked it with me.

Happiness All Along

It took most of the day before the sun broke through the rain clouds. The only one who seem to enjoy it was my daughters Siamese cat Keo. He had gotten into a bag of catnip on my desk and had catnip all over my papers and keyboard. At least he tired himself out and is no longer jumping on my desk.

Sometimes life appears to have options, today there seem to be none in sight. If I didn't know better I would have thought it was a rainy day Monday as I tried to sleep it away. 

There was a conversation that came to mind. My daughter was having one of her drama moments... breaking young men's hearts. One of the young men messaged me and said I would have given her everything. She said " he couldn't give me happiness" Bad move, she is like her mother, leading with her heart. Though it is true the apple sometimes doesn't fall far from the tree. She is much wiser than I was at her age. I saw true happiness in her eyes, the sparkles, she smiled through them and I can't say I had seen that look in her before. You can't put a price tag on happiness and though I believe that it is an emotion that lays dormant, some people do have the ability to trigger the emotion in others. 

I failed to see the sunshine,

as I thought the rain had won, 

I woke up in sadness not 

realizing I had happiness all along.

It was there when the morning birds 

chirped a sweet love song and 

again in the hills where the trillium

are blooming so ever strong. 

I didn't realize I held it in my heart, 

the magic of happiness and the

the warmth we shared from

the very start. 

I failed to see the sunshine, 

as I thought the rain had won, 

I woke up in sadness not 

realizing I had happiness all along. 

Leo Sayer - When i need you

Rain Globe

As close as the stars
to the dark night sky,
is the warm love that
embraces you and I.

There is no division,
you can't separate with time,
we are truly forever
just you and I.

As close as the stars
to the dark night sky,
is the warm love that
embraces you and I.

~
Go ahead and look to the stars,
my stars are your stars, no matter
how far.

Go ahead and look to the sea,
it always meets the shore,
like your love as it
awakened me.

~

Living in a snow globe
in the month of may,
shake it up and watch
the rain makes it way.

Sometimes there is sadness,
loneliness and fear and
I shake the snow globe
to bring you here.

Snow to raindrops,
tears to a smile,
I'm living in a rain globe
to keep you around.

~
.





It is in the silence
that I hear your voice,
the sweet song of love
whispering words of joy.

Bringing you much closer
closer than ever before,
beyond the many miles
is the gift of my forevermore.

~
You never leave my heart,
you are always on my mind,
here , there and everywhere
it is always you and I.

When I wake up in the morning,
throughout each second of my day
whether I am dreaming or awake
you always find your way.

~
I felt the chill of time,
a reminder of the day,
when  you first said hello
and my life forever changed.

I tried to shake it ,
but shiver I must ,
it is a reminder of
the power that love
has over lust.


~
Nature is at my fingertips,
rainbows and sunshine,
as I whisper dear clouds
please send him my kiss.

The sky was cloudless,
no raindrops can be found,
again I found myself
talking to cherry blossoms
as swirl around.

My gift is made of memories
they touch my heart,
make each day bright
like that of spring.

Nature is at my fingertips,
rainbows and sunshine,
as I whisper dear clouds,
please send to him my kiss.
~

~

Spring is LIght

Though it may seem that winter is struggling to hold on with another burst of cold weather with a dusting of  snow, it is impossible for it to deny us of the light. Kind of like the song " into each life a little rain must fall" but as I sit here gazing out the window watching the fickle season of spring tease us with an array of weather, I cannot deny since I met you, the sky is bluer, the sun brighter and the clouds more inviting.


I found solace in your memory,
to alleviate my broken heart.
The restlessness of the moment
begs to bring you from a far.

Shuffling the cards played
to rearrange my troubled life,
Trying to quickly erase the
loneliness both day and night.

Time places limits upon the soul,
reminds me of the day you took hold.
From the moment my sky of blue,
was written with words of I love you.

~

I watched the rain falling from the sky and
looked to the heavens and to my surprise,
there were signs of the love you gave to me,
like a warm spring day and a new dream.


I listened to the song birds as they whistled their song,
musical in nature, I thought I'd hum along.
Simple reminders of what you mean to me,
you are my sunshine and my warmest memories.
~

Just like the season
that is upon us now,
sometimes we have sunshine
and a few snowflakes falling down.

The skies are bluer
and the dreams surreal,
as I step upon the passing clouds
and your love once more feel.


~

My Soul

If you read or watched a good book or movie for the umpteenth time, you find that you sometimes interpret it differently or miss a scene that you hadn't seen previously. Mostly likely we relate to a scene based on where we are at the moment. I realize more now than ever that everyone has a very interpretation , like the script of life. 

I can't tell you how anyone else can see, 

but for me the blue sky is more than a dream. 

Like the mountains as they reach so ever high, 

I can feel my soul soar beyond this earthly time.

I know love has taken me for a ride, 

showed me the world through very different eyes. 

Like the simplicity of wild daisy in the field

and the journey as we crest the many hills. 

I know love has taken me by surprise, 

lifted my heart and soul many times. 

Each morning as the sun begins to rise

I thank the Lord that you are by my side. 

~

Reflected in each raindrop, 

in the rays of the sun, 

I can see the magic that

created our sweet love. 

Arched across the blue sky,

rainbows bridge you and I 

and that is how I hold you close

heart , soul and mind. 

!

~

We choose our own destiny

even though detours are written into the journey. 

~

No one man's journey weighs heavier than another...

~

I vote next winter we study hibernating... 

I think I can sleep through winter. 

~

I am not prepared for tomorrow, 

but I don't think any of us are. 

~

There are so many kinds of love,

one does not compare to the other. 

~

It was the cardinals at the feeder, 

feathers were bold and bright, 

that reminded me of the strength

we all need to stand up and fight. 

It is not the need of weapons, 

for our struggles are like a sea, 

it is our endurance that reveals

that we can accomplish anything. 

It has to be the season
it reminds me of you,
and lifts me from the earth
in the dance that lovers do.

My feet are anchored,
but my soul is soaring free.
I am in the arms of love,
cradled so peacefully. .
~


It is the blue sky,
the early rise of the sun,
the song that filled the air,
the love we both share.

It is in the silence and
in the dark of night,
when I close my eyes,
it is you I am holding tight.

It is in the laughter and
in the tears that fall
the memories of a lifetime
that to my soul call.

~
Each day reveals the treasure,
the happiness from deep in side
from the memories you have given
and our hearts that so entwine.

The world a journey that few
never completely understand
as every road a circling detour
that has a walking hand in hand.

I have met a lot of people and
I have seen so many things
but as I stay on the journey
I realize you are my everything.

Earth has little meaning,
for our hearts and souls are one,
as we have found our place
in the heaves above.

This is our love story,
it was always meant to be,
written in the wind,
soaring high and free.

One day our time will pass
and rivers will run dry
but our love was meant to last
and forever it will be.

Your voice is all I hear,
as I wake from the dream
and find no matter our travels
you are always here with me.

To deny makes me a fool,
as loving you has a magic hold
an embrace that won't let go
and deep inside me grows.

Like a tree deprived of water,
my thirst for you makes me hotter.
Ignited by need and a passionate desire
my soul feels the fire.

You are always in my arms
no matter where and how far.
From the moment I say good night
till I wake to the morning light.

I could go on forever
documenting the falling of a feather,
the joy of that day ,
when an angel found his way.

Till the Stars Blanket My Dreams

Life always circles back to choice. As I ponder on right and wrong and heartache and happiness, I find myself trapped between a small part of reality or the whole picture. Precious is that of life, time and the faith that tomorrow will come and we will bathe in the happiness of shared hearts as we embrace in the walk of life.

I can feel your love as it cradles
me both night and day, while it
makes each and every moment
feel like the month of May.

I can hear your voice as it
speaks to me, whispering of
a love that was always meant
to be.

~

Everything is fading
except for your love,
it is the magic of life
that meets in the heavens
above.
La la la, I sing to you,
La, la, la I need you,
La, la, la, I'll not let go
for I love you so.
~

Weeping willow,
shallow indeed,
never took the
winters, uprooted
and no longer
there to seed.

Rare moments,
captured on my side,
touched my heart
and made me cry.


Weeping willow,
no longer standing tall,
first the branches fell
and that left nothing
but emptiness and hell.

I said goodbye long ago
and still I feel the haunting
that wouldn't let me go.

~

We are not promised tomorrow and
the season cannot always be spring
and that is why I celebrate the warmth
of  love you so kindly share with me. 

I'll not allow my heart to fill with tears, 
for I will hear your laughter as to my 
heart it sings, from the moment I 
wake up till the stars blanket my dreams. 

sail away....

I looked out the window of a starless night, only clouds and darkness in sight. I tried to remember what it felt like to be, as close as the sand to the mighty sea. The memories have not faded, though distant they maybe, as I try to find a way to bring you close to me. The wind speaks in riddles, the night plays a game as if it the tune of  life fiddles the ache away.. Night turning to morning, morning no longer filled with pain as  I try to understand the meaning of each and everyday. I can love forever if forever makes you mine, I can dream the dream that stops the hands of time. I can share each moment and bring happiness to life, I can keep on waiting, if waiting makes you mine.

Here are my dreams,
my dreams of you,
and here is a memory
to see our love through.

Here are the moments
when you first said hello
and the warmth of spirit
that has yet to let go.

I tried to find the meaning
of this journey we are on,
where there is so much
heartache and loss of song.

It is when I see the light that the darkness make an appearance.

Pretend Nat King Cole

Singing With the Angels

I acknowledged love

when the void within me no longer existed.

~

 

Some chapters are frightening,

that is why I keep reviewing my favorite.

 

~

 

 

 

 

 

If I could gather up the stars
and string them across the sky,
I'd use them to write the words
an eternal gesture of the love of
you and I.

Like lavender on my pillow ,
your image suggest a calm,
that comforts me in the night
with your love from afar.

Listen With Your Heart

I could hear the thunderous waves in 

their roar against the mighty rocks, 

as if they knew I was really listening

I'd had sworn they really could talk. 

Powerful is the vastness of the sea,

I found myself lost in it as if it were a dream. 

Caught up in the moment, it was no surprise

when I reached out, it was you by my side. 

~

If I could soar the heavens, 

I'd choose to be with you, 

always and forever is the title

in the chapter of " I love you." 

I'd hold your hand in every storm,

walking beside you is truly the norm. 

I channel my energy to lift you high

so we could dance high in the sky. 

If I could soar the heavens, 

I'd choose to be with you, 

always and forever is the title

in the chapter of " I love you."

I was once told to not allow my emotions to rule and that I was to rule my emotions. In an overwhelming chapter of my life, I find myself reaching for what feels warm and comforting. I find myself drawn to your arms. 

Hold me under the night sky, 

the stars are yours and mine. 

Close your eyes and open your heart

and you will see we bridge from a far. 

The mountains can't restrain us

and the clouds are a sky bus, 

as I send in the wind all my 

love to you, all my love to you. 

~

Can you hear the whispers of sweet memory? They

are tucked away in my heart for safe keeping. 

Some say they are haunting the memories of sweet,

as they have the power to lift me off my feet. 

My soul responds and a reminder sends to me, 

the tremble of my spirit when I think of you and I

I feel it in your absence, the energy of life that 

makes this life were living and makes it all seem right. 

...from day one.

Like a warm breath of air
and a sweet kiss to my lips,
falling in love with you leaves
memories of eternal bliss.

It could have been the way the
sun shined down on me,
could have been the song
that only angels can sing.

Something about the moment
as it made me realize
that no matter what happens
you are always by my side.

Somethings are dreams in passing
that will quickly fade away,
but love like ours is truly forever
and we will hold to this very day.
~
There is no way to erase all we have done, 
for you were in my heart from day one. 
Silly things remind me what love really means, 
like sharing a cup of tea while we dream. 

The ocean wave sounds are like music, 
the vibrations playing rare acoustics.
Simply remembering the moment, 
when you walked into my life.   

There is no way to erase all we have done, 
for you were in my heart from day one. 
Silly things remind me what love really means, 
like sharing a cup of tea while we dream. 

Grains of Sand

Time is indeed passing
and busy we may seem,
but I never fail to think of you
and what you mean to me. 

Your voice has been recorded,
It is there deep within my heart
and I play it over and over 
like music on a harp. 

Precious is each moment
as it makes me truly aware, 
how little time we have to 
truly stop and share. 

Many tears have fallen
and my heart like a ship at sea, 
floats upon the flood of tears 
while wandering through the dreams. 

I take each and every moment 
that I have left upon this earth 
to tell those who mean the most to me
about their God given worth. 
~

I'll never take for granted the rising of the sun, 
the stars that shine above us, the flowers now in bloom. 
I'll never forget your love and how it touched my 
heart and how our love just and grew and grew
to fill the heavens with the glow of a billion stars. 


~

There are a few that have touched my heart and a few that touched my soul, 

but you have touched my whole life and have a true eternal hold. 

~

I sat here counting my blessings

though heavy my heart may be, 

the song, the dance and happiness

shared both near and far are all 
apart of me. 

My heart was changed forever, 

for it was given sight and taught

to sing  and on this earthly place 
it made reality from a dream. 

~

No longer bathed in innocence,

guilty am I, for I have been touched

by your love and kindness and

found the truth I could not deny. 

I placed my faith in the heavens

that tomorrow will come and go,

as once more we will share in the
happiness that leaves an eternal glow.

~

My father never was a man for goodbyes he would say 

" see ya later" and so no goodbyes ...see ya later. 

I want an itinerary for life, 

what road are we traveling, 

what is our destination and 

when it does stop? 

~

I use to think that we were a puzzle waiting to be completed, 

but as life goes on I feel as if  we are pieces being put back in the box. 

~
My daughter is way smarter than I was at her age...that gives me hope.
~

Vulnerability

Troubled recently by my sisters need for a kidney, it shed light on our own vulnerability. I am not a stranger to death of siblings and parents. I have already buried a sister,  two brothers and my father. I have written many times to bring peace to those who have lost love ones. But as I standby helplessly and watch as my sister suffers and makes decisions, I again become aware of the limit time places upon us. 

I read an article in the news , where a news caster just tied the knot at 80 years of age. My sister didn't' get out of her 30's before she died and so you wonder about the journey in which each of us are on. I know we can't live in fear and saying goodbye is never easy. 

I ran through the memories

as I tried desperately to hold on,

I didn't know what else to do, 

as I knew time was moving on. 

Time is precious this life we know, 

there is no stopping like wind that blows.

I wanted to tell you before you are gone,

how much I love you and in my arms

you belong. 

~

. 

I have trouble with goodbyes

this you must already know, 

I can't understand how 

fast time really goes. 

I only want forever if forever 

means being with only you, as

all I ever think of is your hand

in mine as we stroll under the 

blue. 

I have troubles with goodbyes, 

this you must already know. 

I'll hold you in my heart and I'll

never ever let you go. 

~

There is no promise of tomorrow.

I hold on to the memories
that bring a smile to my face
and gently warm my heart
each and every day.

I can feel you in the mountains
with their amazing embrace and
in the dark of night when all
the stars are fixed in place.

There is no promise of tomorrow
and so each day I  say to you,
no matter whatever happens,
I will always love you true.

Splat!!!

When I was a little girl, I had this overwhelming sense of wanting to run away. I thought most kids must have experienced it at one time or another. The world was so big and I wasn't so courageous and at nine years of age, I found myself hiding in my mothers walk in closet, in my closet, under the bed. I even once embarrassing as this is to say, hid in the clothes hamper. I ended up always coming out because no one missed me.  As an adult when I needed time away , unlike normal people who had a drivers license, I would go to the attic. I could hear the children " where is mom?" An eventually would make my way down the attic steps, realizing that there really was no where to runaway.
It was those awful romantic comedies that came on the Rege Cordic hour on Sundays. You know the kind of movie, where the guy rescues the girl and they live happily after. I now know it was a set up for the Knight in Shining Armor Syndrome. That somehow I was going to be rescued .
I always felt trapped as if I was a character in someone else's book. That this script of life was out of my control. One day I began to rewrite life, I am not sure if I mean that in the literal sense.I met someone not so much a knight that would sweep me off my feet, but would take me far above the earth's surface. I was as my father would say pulling off " the Great Houdini ."  That is until someone pierces the cloud and you come tumbling done.

I took to the clouds
in the heavens above,
gazed on the earth
with the one I love.

Arms holding me tight in a
kiss on bright starry night.
The smile is forever mine
in a story written for all time.
~

My Poem

I saw it through the trees,
cresting above the hills,
the sun light of morning
with the love I feel.

I captured the moment
images of you and I
that I will hold in my
heart till the day I die.

The trees are now budded and
flowers are breaking ground
and I know that another season
has passed another has come around.

Time documents the chapters
of a story written in the wind,
left upon the clouds from
whence we first began.