Scattered Thoughts

Fresh out of the shower and dressed for work. Preparing for the start of my day, my thoughts are already scattered. In reality the only thing we can really be sure of is our own thoughts and actions. I know I have aged as I had my daughter behind the wheel for the first time and held on for dear life. That didn't go over well, I suggest driving school. We react differently depending where we are in the chapters of life. I remember teaching my sons to drive and being much more relaxed. Thoughts are the same way depending where you are in life. It is as if your interpretation of a moment in time is altered. Maybe it is true we never stop learning. That is where communication is key, it removes all the guess work.
Every year the Flycatcher returns to nest outside my window. Though many times I have watched them in flight, I never quite her them chirp as I did this morning. It was as if they knew the sun was about to rise and they were announcing the arrival of daylight. Each day brings us something new and wonderful if we look or listen for it. But my thoughts kind of grazed rather gray areas of life. Looking back I interpreted moments of my life differently. Many things alter our thought process. The wisdom that comes with time, the reality of actions, dead end roads, paths that circle back, maturity and time itself. There always seems to be a cloud over our wants and our needs and it is only in the clearing that you can make sense of it all. I thought of a schematic many times, a written blue print for life. That would make life so much easier if we know where we are going and why. It is the difference between a mere existence and actually living life. As my children mature and find their place in the world, it leaves a void. What direction does my life take from that point?
I have always had a desire to stay one step ahead, keep on the move , run as fast I can. Because standing still brings a fear of succumbing to my surroundings. In one instance I wondered is the comfort zone actually good or bad. Which way do I go? So many questions in life so few answers.

I am only certain,
that I have loved,
felt the joy that
comes from sharing
with that special one.

I can appreciate,
the chapters of life,
each one a lesson
that strengthens
the fight.

Standing before you,
my love is all I have
to share, from my heart
and soul, I can tell you
how much I care.

Off to work, with a slightly heavy heart...