I Love You So Much

I pondered on the subject of friendship before I began to write. Over a lifetime you build a network of friendships, some lead you to others and there are the ones like fine thread that do not take the weathering of a storm and break away.

When I was very young the constant moving didn't allow for very close bonds. When I finally made a friend we were again on the move and unlike today we did not have the convenience of computers nor the access as we do to cell phones. I found that the initial spark of friendship became nothing more than mere memories. When I finally had stability in my life it brought my first long term friendship. Like sisters we built upon the day not only creating wonderful memories but allowing me the experience of having someone that close to you. Again changing schools took it's toll and it put a heavy or strain on the friendship. I was no longer in that circle and no longer included in that particular friendship pool. I remember many tears, a loss and the emptiness in my heart. I had opened my heart and allowed this person in, we had that sister bond, friends are forever. Not all stories are created with the happy ending. It was my teenage years and they in them self were a time of struggle, finding out who we are and what our future brings. It was one of the hardest lessons I had ever learned in my life and I had not let anyone that close for many years.

I made friends, but I also gave it space, I was afraid to get attached in that life would go on as usual and that they would always be there. Though I do have a couple girlfriends who live at a distance, no matter what times comes between us, I always know I can pick up the phone, write a letter or make a date for a luncheon. It is not as easy as it use to be, we have all grown and have families, moved out of state, but still there is a bond.

Over the years, I have found that people flit like butterflies in and out of your life. The opening of the heart and allowing someone close to you opens the heart to a vulnerability. I initially began to write as a healing mechanism, therapeutic in a sense an through writing I was capable of cushioning my heart to the blows in life.

I looked back over the last ten years and I saw that some friends those who were filled with truth and honesty, did grow away and sometimes the distance did play a part in the periods of growth which altered the moment. The truth made it much much easier to accept, as it allowed you to see where one's life took them. Where lies and deceit follow, it was much more difficult, because not only are you dealing with a void, you are trying to find the missing pieces and put them all together to create an image of what is reality.

Life and the people we meet are very much like a set of dominoes one leaning upon the other guiding us throughout our life, that is until I met you. I now see through the beauty of your love the joy and happiness that your friendship has bestowed.

I see your heart in all we do,

and from my soul your love

shines through.

We grow with the moment,

together as one, unlike any

other your my best friend.

Your worth the battle, for

you I'd stand to fight, but

with you my darling I'd

rather make love all night.

Some friends do come and

others go, but your love is

special and I just want you

to know, I love you so.

I wasn't looking and I didn't

expect to find and that is the

moment where truth conquers

and divides.

Your the love in my heart, the

joy in my life, the friend so

rare, my guiding light.

I didn't know it, but this is

so true, that those who have

gone had nothing on you.

Your warmth a comfort,

that soothes my soul, holds

my hand and my heart it rules.

Some come and others go, but

you're in my heart and I am

not letting go.

The more you are with me,

the more I can see, how wonderful

life is cashing in on our dreams.

Forever I give you, it is all that

I have and I promise that it will

grow with love, happiness and

laughs.

~

This love so wonderful as beautiful as can be,

is worth climbing mountains and swimming out to sea.

~

This I know to be true all their weaknesses

have shown me the strength in you.

~

I cry you wipe my tears,

I laugh and you laugh with me.

I dream and you're dreaming beside me.

I reached out and you were reaching back.

I love you and I feel your love in return.

I have found the rarest of gifts,

in the truth of your love.

You have not only earned my trust,

you have nurtured my spirit and accepted my love.

~

Where others lay a path of confusion, you placed an abundance of love,

which not only directed my heart to the comfort of your arms, it

led my soul in truth and alliance through realities window.

~

I never want to lose you,

because to do so would be losing,

the other half of my soul.

MTUWEK