Blowing in the Wind

I wrote a complete post this morning and before I could publish it , it disappeared and it felt like I was "blowing in the wind".  It is amazing that each situation that we are confronted with in life has a vast array of interpretations. The road we travel is as unique to each  individual as it is to the heart, soul and mind. We are born with a schematic or a blue print and as we mature we develop a broader and more in depth visual of the path we are on and where it will lead. This perspective we have about life is like a decoding mechanism and alters with each experience we explore.

I don't want to relive the past or dance
 in the world of fantasy, 

I want to know where
 it is I belong. 

~

Loneliness is the inept ability 

to embrace life.

~

Our vulnerability is life without a shield. 

~

The human emotion knows both hate and love...

~

Again the dagger falls and choice is once more stripped from my being.

~

Though the wall cannot be seen it also cannot be penetrated.

~

If each of us has our own hell, 

than I have been living in the hell of another. 

~

My heart views what can be,

my soul knows what can be,

my mind complicates it by denial. 

~

If you compare everything in life to the most precious

 love you will be gravely disappointed. 

Happy New Year!

It is ironic how man and his ability to think and make choices can complicate the simplicity of life. As we prepare to bring in the New Year, I don' t feed the need to do as I have years before and alter or change some kind of behavior, reach a milestone or set a new goal. This year I have to look at not what we can do but what we have done. I am ever grateful for the opportunities that have been granted to me. I look at my personal achievements, business adventures and a full range of emotion and the experiences of my trials and indeed tribulations. On one level I feel a sense of reward the beauty of life has offered and on another the troubled spirit that has yet not found its rightful path within the hemisphere of our very existence.
I am not concerned with what 2011 will bring nor am in a state of regret for that which I had not accomplished. I had this conversation with my sister and the statement of importance was with you stand tall to your beliefs, to your true inner being or you become a part of the dysfunction that surrounds you. How we determine which road to take, where to turn and what mountains to climb rest solely within our own being. Faith is that which is guided by the unknown, leading us by the heart and soul.
I have gained more than anyone can imagine, I have learned the importance of trust and how crucial it is in a relationship. I have experienced both respect and the lack of respect and definitely  respect puts us on equal ground and teaches us the value of ourselves and those around us. I have seen the trials of good and evil, love and hate and choose to allow only good and love in heart and next to my soul. I know what it is like to have some one believe you can and rise to every occasion. I have cried and I have laughed, felt my heart break and felt the mending of spirit. I have climbed mountains and stumbled and fell and dusted myself and got back up. I have seen the magic that paints your smile in every horizon. I have lived, loved, given and earned respect of my friends, customers and family. I rejoice not that a new year will come, but that my yesterdays were rich beyond any treasure known to man.

 Audrey forgot to put the flash on... but Happy New Year!

The Marshlands are a bitter cold,
the wind a might roar and as I
gaze into the waters I wonder
what life will have in store.

Snow along the banks, barely
an inch or two and the silence
broken by the dreams of all
my love for you.
~

Life would be empty and the dark would replace the blue, I would be lonely without you. The days would be dreary and the nights long if I didn't have you and your love along. Life would lack meaning with no music in the air, it all would be sad a filled with despair. I am so glad that you are here and there is nothing to fear. Love brought you to me and now that we are together life is as it should be. If I didn't have you, life would be so blue I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have you.	8:58 PM

Sweet Morning Kisses

La la la la  la, la la la la la , la
take the dream and replay it,
take the song and sing along
with it, take my heart and
please don't give it way.

La la la la la , la la la la la , la
take my hand and hold it tight,
take my kisses and make it right,
take my love and don't you give
it away.



Sings>To hear the words of love
before they have left my lips and
know the pleasure of your sweet
and tender kiss.

To make the darkness fade with
dreams of  yesterday, where you
and I like children laugh and play.

To walk hand in hand like lovers
on the sand and know the day
belongs to you and I.

To wake into your arm and
 explore all yours day after
day.

To realize what is to some
a surprise that love like this
is meant to be.

To watch the river flow and
free the blue bird it can your
love to me.

To give light to the dark of
night in hopes that I'll wake
to find you next to me.
~
Sings>I've Got Something

I've got something to tell you,
I don't want you to ever forget.
I'm gonna love you my darling,
I'm gonna love you.. Oh! I'm
gonna  love you.

I've got something to give you,
I don't want you to let it go.
I'm gonna give you the dreams,
I'm gonna make them come
true,I 'm gonna make that
happen for me and you.

I've got something to tell you,
I don't want you to ever forget,
I'm gonna whisper the words,
I'm gonna whisper to you,
I'm gonna whisper.. I love you

  ~
Inside of Me
It could have been the rainbow or the sunlight through the trees, but something special was happening that much I could hear and see. The wind was whispering quietly your name  as it traveled great distances in hopes of sending my love your way. I can't tell you, but this much you must know that the angels were on our side when our hearts collide so. I saw it in the heavens  and on the clouds way up high, the silhouette of lovers in the dreams that make you mine. Removing all signs of darkness your love founds its way and as I wake up early this morning my smiles are on display. This morning is special, as special as can be, because your love my darling lives here inside of me.

~
Seventeen and promises,
lost as I could be, hoping
that the road would smooth
out and lead you to me. 


I stumbled once to many,
my choices were poor,
but I only wanted a sense
of peace for my forevermore.

The Lord had other plans and
live and learn do we, that everything
that happens was somehow meant
to be.

Little bit smarter and wiser am I,
that I can recognize the truth from
all those little lies.

Some people here a day, many are
now long gone, but the one who holds
my heart knows the words to our song.
~


They say that men and women think and interpret on a different level. One physical and one emotional, but as I review my own experiences I don't think the differences are between men and women but people in general.It is the first lessons of childhood that create the blue print in which we follow and therefore leads us on an ever winding journey. We in a sense try to connect with and adult when our actions and emotions must first connect with the child. Imagining the people you come in contact with their line up in the family there first experiences in kindergarten and you will have unveiled a person in a different perspective. The connections of souls is much deeper it connects with the spirit the energy of our being. Love as love would have, deeply, uncontrollably and with the passion that so lives within us.


~
I think it is sad that a journey can be so long and
winding before we can understand it completely.

~

Love can never hold anger in its heart,
for it is the most forgiving of emotion.

~
True compassion is the ability to see through the eyes of another
and feel it in your heart and know in your soul the power of touch.


~
I tasted freedom and that is what made the restraints of hell so painful.
~

I have loved when I had given up that such even existed.
~
Speak of truth and you will succeed in the conquest of hearts,
my heart to yours, my soul beside you,my love within you.

~
This passion that flows outward from my
soul knows the destination of its power.

~
Because I dared to love, I dare to live.
~
Sweet morning kisses can wipe these tears of mine,
Sweet morning kisses makes bitter the finest wine.
I'm gonna wake each morning and dream I'm  next
to you, I'm gonna listen to your heart beat and
watch my dreams of love come true.

Sweet morning kisses like sunshine in the rain,
puts a spin on the day and makes the gray skies fade.
Sweet morning kisses are what you give to me, sweet
morning kisses turns a winter day to spring.

Sweet morning kisses to this weary heart of mine,
sweet morning kisses soaked in a lovers brine.
I can taste them  and yes a bitter sweet , they
crossed the river to crash right through my dreams.

Sweet morning kisses are heavenly divine, they can
ease a broken heart and heal a trouble mind.
Sweet morning kisses are what I share with you
took the stormy sky and it made a power baby blue.

Sweet morning kisses can wipe these tears of mine, 

Sweet morning kisses makes bitter the finest wine. 

I'm gonna wake each morning and dream I'm  next

to you, I'm gonna listen to your heart beat and

watch my dreams of love come true


~

The winter serenade is of the wind that whistles through the trees, the whip and crack of the branches and the hawk who is hungry for something to eat. Rain and a blend of snow and a mixture of ice and water that just won't go. The season sings along with the heart that beats for the from night till dawn. The river that swell beyond the bank and the dreams of love that my soul gives thanks.
~
No man is more powerful than another,
for death shall to come each and everyone.
But he who walks in darkness has failed to
experience the joy  and magic of sweet love.

~
Sometimes the memories are heavy and they weigh like an anchor on a cloud and other times the images are uplifting and I reach for you my love. Raindrops on the window, a rainbow that stretches across the sky, the warmth that you have given is in  my heart, soul and mind.Dreams of you, the dance that only lovers do, the reason for living and the world when it bows to let our love through Sometimes the memories are heavy and they weight like an anchor on a cloud and other times the images are uplifting and that is when you are all that can be found.

~
I am but one spirit that reached on out to you
and you are the angel that clearly reached back
and let your love shine through.

~
I am happy, happy as can be, not that I possess but that when I am with you we're free. I am happy, happy as can be, for I have had the opportunity to love and have love returned to me.

Tasting Snowflakes

The mutual admiration of one spirit to another is that 

which empowers both heart and soul. 

~

Tasting snowflakes, spinning around and feeling free,
underneath the moonlight and caught up in a dream.
Silly am I as I dance to memories, imagining you in
my arms and waltzing as if it were spring.

One step closer and this is what you'll hear, your
heart beat next to mine like music to my ears.
The sound of music is a rhythmic revelry like
Congo drums playing a sweet lovers melody.

Darkness was all that could be found until I opened
up my heart and your love came shining down.
Like Daisy's blooming on a summer day, the
passion of your love blooms in this same way.

Tasting snowflakes, spinning around and feeling free,
underneath the moonlight and caught up in a dream.
Silly am I as I dance to memories, imagining you in
my arms and waltzing as if were spring.

~


I don't know how to tell you, I don' t know if there is a way, my heart is all shattered in  pieces of life's game. Troubled and weary, I don't know which way to go and I find I keep on stumbling just wanting to be loved so. I want the heart that will hold me tender in the night, I want the love that is mine and mine alone from the start. I want the dreams that will lead me to you, I want the courage that will tell me just what to do. I don't know how to tell you, I don't know if there is a way, my heart is all shattered in pieces of life's game. If there is away to mend this troubled heart of mine, I have not experienced it and neither has time. The road is uncleanly marked and so I find myself a stray, like a blind man following as the heart leads the way.

Journey - Open Arms (Live)

Lying beside you
Here in the dark
Feeling your heart with mine
Softly you whisper
You're so sincere
How could our love be so blind
We sailed on together
We drifted apart
And here you are
By my side

So now I come to you
With open arms
Nothing to hide
Believe what I say
So here I am
With open arms
Hoping you'll see
What your love means to me
Open arms

Living without you
Living alone
This empty house seems so cold
Wanting to hold you
Wanting you near
How much I wanted you home

But now that you've come back
Turned night into day
I need you to stay

So now I come to you
With open arms
Nothing to hide
Believe what I say
So here I am
With open arms
Hoping you'll see
What your love means to me
Open arms

My Thinking Place

Where all is possible...

Each season I take a stroll down over the hill to where Brownsville stream flows into ten mile and I  can see that even though it looks very much the same there have been minor erosion and build up. One tree had fallen and it created  an island of sand to stand on...so I no longer had to jump across the stream.Which really goes to show that nothing really stays the same and I guess that is a good thing as it shows our ability to morph and grow within our very own seasons of life. I have compared my life to that of a tightrope walker, trying to balance myself to keep from falling. But if i should fall

 

 

Like your love as it flows from my heart into my soul!

....if tomorrow should never comes.

Sings>I wanna say I reached up high , 

climbed the mountain with you by my side

I wanna dream and have  it  come true,

to live my life loving you.

I wanna be your stars at night, the one

that twinkles through your eyes.

I wanna hold you, hold you tight and 

whisper I love you both morning and night.

 I wanna sink my feet in the sand and 

walk the shore hand in hand. 

I wanna watch the sun rise  and smile

and laugh from deep down inside.

I believe that I   have  felt  the void of love for so long,

 that it created an uncontrollable need to feel it. 

~

Sing softly with words of passion

from my heart to the one I love.

Listen as my soul tells the reason 

that everything life has a season.

~

 

It occurred to me that I hadn't been down to the place where I can sit and think and be one with my surroundings for some time. But as I walked and felt the wind rip through my hair and the brisk winter chill on my cheeks I felt a sense of peace as the child who loved winter met with the adult who denied the love of the blustery season. I am not so fond of the survival part of it, trying to maintain heat in the house etc, but there is something awful serene about the newly fallen snow that blankets the hollow.
I wondered what had changed over the years that made me deny my love for all the seasons and than I realized that it wasn't one thing, but many choices which devoured bit by bit my own personal identity. In my foolishness to please I forgot that which is most important and that is exploring each moment in a day and mastering the ability to live it as it was meant to be.
Survival, I guess that is all I really ever knew was how to survive not necessarily how to enjoy life but how to survive life until I understood that some people live to die and I die to live.There is an old adage that " you can be a part of the problem or a part of the solution" The importance of that statement has more to do with our own actions than with those of others. As we become aware that we can really only be responsible for our own thought and our own actions only than are we able to break free of the dysfunction caused by others.
Many years back a total stranger and I were talking, I don't know her name and I  never spoke to her again. I said to her " I feel like I am drowning" and she said " I threw you a rope it is up to you with what you do with it"  The rope was made of the threads of awareness woven together by someones ability to listen. This was one of my first wake up calls, after that there would be several more major wake up calls to appear in my life. It was important to recall the minor lessons of life and renew them as I now understood that power and how people try to control in various ways. It was of major importance in the taking the steps forward to being responsible for my own life.
I thought that I had made great strives and achieved  in many ways but what I did was let go of one great achievement and replaced it with another. I had to learn to integrate both my personal achievements, business and social into one. I found this to be difficult and so looked for crutches along the way. I am worthy of being respected, loved and treated kindly. I don't deserve to be accused, threatened nor treated less than.
Maybe it is the season as we have come to another end of a year and we look to improve upon the next. I didn't think it was possible to gain more knowledge on a personal note, but as long as we are alive, we have so much more to learn. I have always felt like I walked to the beat of my own drum, at least in my mind, this year I will do it on a level that will bring a new light to the horizon.

Welcome to my thinking place,
where I know that I can go and
sit along the hillside and watch
the water flow.

I gaze into the water and time
can pass me by, because nothing
here matters just the dreams that
flow through my mind.


I wanted to find my place within the winter surroundings to feel the chill take to my heart and freeze it still as not to feel any pain. To close my eyes and allow the snowflakes to blanket my spirit like that of the hills. But something called out to me to return and my eyes swelled and a tear fell and I felt like a pawn in the game of life.

I am but a page in the seasons of life .

I love the rain as it touches my soul
and awakens my spirit with a tale
of old.  Reminders of yesterday
when I was young and enjoyed
the play.

The summer sun and a restless
soul look to the season to
unleash its hold.

Autumn colors reds and gold,
a week or two and winter
unfolds.

Snow and ice and a winter chill,
a breath of life through the windy
hills.

Seasons come and seasons go but the
memories retained through a lifetime
flow.

Nat King Cole - Smile.m4v

Twas the Night Before Christmas

I was in ninth grade when my speech assignment was to recite " The Night before Christmas" I never  was really fond of standing up before a large group of people to talk, though I quickly learned the magic of humor and how it can ease tension and make everyone a little more comfortable. As the holiday quickly approaches and I have absolutely nothing done, the alternatives to dealing with it are few. I can either battle to get something done or give up, laugh or cry. Takes deep breath!

I think in everyone's life there is a teacher who made a difference who they remember for something they taught, and experience or was of an inspiration. Thomas Hoag was one of those people who you rarely saw without a smile on his face.  I stood in front of him eyes rolling making some kind of silly faces as he said to put expression to my story and I began to recite the night before Christmas. He stood there and he laughed and laughed and well it was an easy A.  I think when things are tough I think back and I see Mr. Hoag's rosy cheeks, sparkle in his eyes and yes his smile and I find myself smiling. 

There are many people who have and affect on us in one way or another. Sometimes it is for the better and other times we are not sure what we are getting till years later. I have been known to sugar coat things to get by in life, hang to the positive. In all reality that was just avoiding the obvious. So to simplify things this Christmas Eve I will just start by reciting " The night before Christmas" and hope that the new year will reveal to us the wisdom necessary to sift through our experiences and surface with the positive ones and of course to begin the year by letting go. Letting go of that which I have no ability to change and of course looking forward to finding the reigns of my own heart and taking control of my emotions. 

Twas the night b efore Christmas , when all through the house,

not a creature was stirring , not even a mouse.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care , in hopes
that St. Nicholas soon would be here. 


The Children were all nestled  and all snug in their beds.
while visions of sugar plums danced in their heads.
and momma in her kerchief and I in my cap, 
had just settled down for a long winter's nap.


When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprung from the bed to see what was the matter,
away to the window I flew like a flash, 
tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.


The moon on the breast of the new fallen snow,
gave the luster of midday to objects below,
when, what to my wondering eyes should appear.
a miniature sleigh, and eight tight reindeer,
with a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St Nick.

More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
and he whistled an shouted and called them by name,
Now Dasher , now Dancer , now Prancer and Vixon,
On Comet , on Cupid, on Donder and Blitzen!
to the top of the porch, to the top of the wall,
Now dash away, dash away, dash away all.

As, dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,
so up to the house top the courses they flew, with 
the sleigh full of toys and St. Nicholas too.and than in 
twinkling, I heard on the roof,
the prancing and pawing of each little hoof,
as I drw in my head and was turning around,
down the chimney , St Nicholas came with a bound.


He was dressed all in fur from his head to his foot
and his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot.
A bundle of toys he had flung on his back, and he looked
like a peddler just opening his pack. 
His yes how they twinkled , his dimples how merry,
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry 


His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
and the head of his chin was as white as the snow
the stump of a pipe he held right in his teeth,
 and the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.

He had a broad face and a little round belly,
that shook when he laughed like a bowl full 
of jelly.He was chubby and plump a right jolly
old elf and I laughed when I saw him in spite 
of myself.


A wink of his eye and a twist of his hand,
soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread,
he spoke not a word but went right to his work,
and filled all the stocking then turned with a jerk
and laying his finger aside of his nose, and giving 
a nod up the chimney he rose.

He sprung to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle
and away they all flew like the down of a thistle,
but I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight

Happy Christmas to all, and to all a  good-night!

 

Reality is like a kaleidoscope, 

the same pieces different view.

~

I have tipped toed across a broad range of 

 emotions thus revealing the truth of .our vulnerabilities.

~

It is our expectations that  open the gates to disappointment.

~

It is true the river calls my name. 




~
Love is the single most over used word
and yet so few ever put it into action.
~




It is not what you think to do that is of importance,


it is what you have done that matters.
~

My Pillow

It is true that good or bad we get something from everyone we meet. It can  range from one word to a full experience and thus cause various feelings to occur and reactions as we respond. Taking a walk down memory lane...

It was the teachers who said I couldn't,
to the one who gave a reward, many
friends in passing and the ones that I
adore.

Laughter and smiles, crushes but a few,
the days long gone but the memories still
hold true.

Sometimes a story, occasionally just a
word and than there is the music that
from my soul was burned.

Fear like a bridge broken across a sea
and days when all is like a simple dream.
Choices that led your soul to mine and
the lessons of life in which our spirit dines.

Remarkable passion, dreams but a few,
romance to delight in a day shared with
you. Petals on the bed, music in the air
and a image of you with me when we
have time to spare.

I have learned that life passes by to fast,
and no matter how beautiful a rose in
bloom was never meant to last.

To everything a season from childhood
till now, but you are right my friend we
have some special now. We have the
knowledge that only time can give and
that is why I know my love it is for you
whom I live.

I saw the many trials of the present and the
past and I can stand here and view them
and sometimes I cry and other times I  laugh.

~

My Pillow


My pillow holds the secrets of my wanting heart and though the tears no longer fall, I know that I felt it all. I once cried  in loneliness and again in despair, I felt the sorrow in my soul and released it into the air. My wants were of a hunger for the passion between two, to allow the flesh to entwine with  the warmth of loving you. I whispered in the darkness and your name flowed from my lips and it was all for the wanting of your nightly kiss.

I reached out for my pillow and I pulled it so ever near and I imagined you beside me with out a single care. Time had reckoned and I knew this story well, I lived in darkness like an a angel sent into hell. The clouds were passing and I knew my chance was now to glance into the heavens and see your wonderful smile. A little bit wiser I now knew what it all would mean, the time it took to bring your gentle love to me.

No tears upon this pillow, I refuse to cry, I won't be a prisoner of my own mind. I want to kiss and hold you all night long and love you with the passion of the most beautiful love song. Feel my heart as it beats for you, don't let me go, I don't what I would do. Let your dreams carry you to me and I will hold you in the night while you are holding me.

Every night I hold my pillow as my hands across the surface  explore ,as if your flesh was what I could feel.Something was happening to me , I was waking up from my dream to find I'm  still lonely The sun and the moon still appear and I felt as if I were on the stars waiting for you my dear. I clenched my pillow tighter and I begged aloud, for you my love to come down from the clouds.

Silence muted the angels song, but nothing could stop the music that came along. I can hear it, my pillow and I the song of love that belongs to you and I. The words were rather simple, the melody a peaceful tune. Played on my heart and sung from me to you. La de la I love you la de la it's true, la de la I love you, la de  la, me and you.

Our Endless Love

When I close my eyes and I hold still each and every frame the images are a  haunting reminder of what love lay to claim. The tiny little heart held with in your hand, the sparkle in your eyes that set the days demands. Heart to heart infusion, soul to soul embrace and as I dance upon the heavens, I dance to the hands of fate. The treasure thus revealing, the magic of our love, like gem stones polished to a fine finish and rainbows across the sky and the feeling of your flesh as it meets up with mine. The time matters little, one moment or a day for our souls have come together in the most magnificent of ways. The bond is never ending and I know to this very day that our souls were meant to collide and bring the sweetest touch of happiness in the most amazing way. It is obvious somethings I'll never understand, the road of yesterday, the struggles along the way and the Lords plan that made finding you a game. But the outcome is most rewarding and to my heart it brand, your name next to my name like a etching upon the sand. We've had many experiences, we failed at a few, but that is what makes this special, when I write the words, I love you.

Vulnerable to the moment for all plans are
altered by each breath we take. 

~

The children decorated the tree yesterday. I missed being able to do it with them. But I must say they did a beautiful job decorating and as soon as I am feeling better I will take a picture. As the old saying goes " time stands still for no one "and the holidays are quickly approaching.Whether we are ready or not the world will celebrate the birth of opportunity. For that is exactly what we have been granted, opportunity to bring love and joy into the world.

  Each smile shares in the secrets of our endless love.

 I spent the weekend with my grandchildren and unfortunately they shared more than hugs and kisses and I am down with a bout of the intestinal flu I feel like that little green smiley. .So I lay here  daydreaming of more beautiful images. Arms so strong and yet gentle as can be, kisses sweet that send a tremble to my knees. Thoughts of a day with you and I, waking in your arms just to watch the stars blanket the sky. Watching your smile and knowing that it is true, our love is forever and there is nothing I won't do, to spend my life loving you.

I cried in a soft like whisper to the heavens up above,
to etch the words of passion for the one I love.
I confirm this love is all so true, a little bit
obsessive but it is entails all that I feel for you. 

Shine your rays of sunshine down upon me
and warm my spirit for all eternity.This is
our moment, yours and mine alone and
no one can takeaway what you and I know.

Listen to the waves of the restless sea as it
washes to the shore to capture all our dreams.
Infused with happiness of the one I adore,the
arms of love are here to  battle every storm.

Bonded by Angels

Each day comes with the breath of a new moment, a walk through life, thus revealing varied experiences. Just like the snowflakes that are falling, no two are a like. There is a bit of irony that on one side there is the reign of freedom and on the other the restraints of darkness that have failed to let me go. It made me question ,is it my experience that I walk or like a network and I am stumbling in out of the experiences of others? I presume that all that has yet to happen is somehow connected to the path of our yesterday. All that I am really aware of is my reaction to the daily occurrences and how my emotions are filtered in my desire to retain the positive.

I woke up to reality,as

it stared me in the face

and through a glimpse of

sadness, your love I stood

to embrace.

I held it ever so close and

I refuse to let it go, so when

I looked out into the rays of,

sunlight, I smiled as if our eyes
had met and your lips to mine like

the images of our love aglow.

The day was all so lonely, though

a crowd was all in place, but it was

the absence of your being that my

heart and soul took chase.

Hatred entangled, the evil soul had

spoke and though no words fell from

his lips, his actions fear create.

I stood without emotion, my spirit in

disbelief,that darkness battles our 

love and to your memory dare to erase.

Fortunately the heart is open and stands

very strong, it placed your love inside

for safe keeping,to survive the worst

of storms. 

I kept the treasure inside although outside
was an explosion of warmth and giggles and
than I reminisced of our love which is of
the utmost regal.

No secrets do I keep, no magic in the air, for

bonded are we by angels from the day our love first appeared.



~
There is no greater love than the love 
which is encased in happines and brings 
joy with each and every breath. 

Merry Christmas

The children and I went to Mr Bells Tree farm to find the perfect Christmas tree. Just enough snow to be festive and freeze off the toes. Mr. Bell is an icon in Greene County, he is 95 years old and still brings joy to many families each year. He was driving around in his 1970's something Jeep and he said " this Jeep was around way before you were born." Well talking about putting your own personal spin on a compliment. I'll take a compliment  anyway I can get it.
We walked over the hills and checked out the many different kinds of Christmas trees and people shared comments on the weather" it is a cold out here, brrr can't wait till it warms up, to it's perfect holiday weather for roasting chestnuts" . After over one hundred trees if not more  it was like a bright light. We knew we had the right one,just tall enough and fat enough to be perfect. Okay so it does have a few bare spots, we can hide that or alter it a little,  the branches aren't perfect, just a little nip and tuck, but all in all its a really cool tree. We did pick it and  it's our we picked it out together, well maybe not so together, I just thought this is it,  and Max agreed.
 There is something special about going to Bells Farm for the trees, yes  the neighbors are getting a tree, as well and we recognize many friendly faces as everyone wishes each other a happy holiday. The children are teenagers and well lol they do it to please mom. So I got all the typical teenage lines" Do I gotta go? Don't take my picture!, I don't need a jacket, I wish I had worn my jacket. Oh my fingers are  frozen, I forgot how cold it is hunting for a tree, do we have to look over every hill for a tree?  do you really need all those branches for a wreath? Oh James is here! I should have dressed better, I didn't know we would see people we knew! It wasn't just anyone its the one I have a super crush on, wish we could have stayed longer, he invited us to sit in his car and warm up, ah mom do we have to leave?" lol go figure can't get them there and than you can't get them to leave. Ah the teenager years and those crushes that you just don't quite understand.
Well it is official the start of the holiday season, we purchased a tree, we will start baking cookies and the celebrations begin., that is if I can find my cookbooks. How can you have a cookbook for a lifetime and than lose it. ugh! Takes deep breath retreats to bedroom, time out. Did I say time out? one day into festivities and I am already pulling time out.
May you find peace and joy in this holiday season and well remember those very transitional years from child to teenager to adult....Merry Christmas and have a Happy New Year!

There is always tomorrow for dreams to come true...

As long as the sun holds it place in the sky,
as long as blue bird can wing and sing as
it goes by. As long as you can love me till
the ends of time, than we will live forever
 you and I.

As long as the stars light the night sky,
as long as the clouds take us on the
 ride of our life.As long as you can
dream our sweet embrace, than we
will love face to face.
























Sings> I'm dreaming dreams,
I'm wishing on stars and I am
throwing penny's in the well.

I'm thinking of you, wanting
you here with me and needing
you to hold me.

I'm dreaming dreaming dreams,
I'm wishing on stars and I am
throwing penny's in the well.

I'm sharing my heart, igniting
the spark and the passion
through.

I'm dreaming dreams, I'm
wishing on stars and I am
throwing penny's in the well..

I'm loving you , I'm wanting
you and I needed you here with
me.








Amazing the influence that childhood has on you and how it can somehow can be a message of hope. I always liked the children song in the children Rudolph special, " There is always tomorrow for dreams to come true" but I think I always related to the elf, I wanted to be a Dentist. I think it is kind of funny when you think about what you want to be when you grow up. My first to be dream was to be a ballerina but I don't think I am that graceful and than I wanted to be a teacher and for years  I use to play teacher to imaginary students. Than when I made it into high school I was so sure I was going to be a dentist  and went as far couple years of dental class, working in a dentist office, until I somehow ended up working in a bank. It all became about survival and it wasn't until many years later that I found my nitch in life and decided to believe in myself. Not everything is exactly where I want it to be, but it is true there is always tomorrow for dreams to come true. So many people say to me " if anyone can do it you can" That is troubling as I have gotten older and I think of all the wasted years or the years where I felt I was in limbo.
I went shopping picked up supplies for baking cookies. I realize this is my down time and you could call it family time where my daughter and I  will spend time baking cookies and decorating for the holidays. The holidays to me have always been a sense of peace. I never thought it was about gifts, but I do enjoy shopping for others  and trying to find something that might make them happy. But the real the happiness is in the time shared, it's in the making of memories that we give the greatest of gifts.

You and I

I spend my day aloof and seemingly astray,
dreaming dreams that make the darkness
fade away.. Simple visions of you by my side
and in hope that I would wake up to feel your
body tenderly entwined with mine.

Close as close as two souls can be, your body
next to mine and I 'm caught up  in a dream.
I can almost hear each beat of your heart as I
imagine holding you close as the intense
passion within begins to spark.

Whispering words of my undying love for you,
and the passionate affection that I belong only
 to you. Words can only capture one tenth of
how I feel, the rest comes from my soul
and overflows like the damn as it spills.

I felt it deep from inside, the magic of your love,
and knew at that instance I was yours and you
were mine.Once you caught me my surprise and
as I gazed into the heavens I now knew what
 I would find.

Beyond the clouds and the deepest part
of the sea, there is a story about the love
of the love of you and I. Something special had
happened on that day and at that very
moment I knew you'd always be here
to stay.

You entered my heart in the most auspicious
way, leaving behind the memories that I had
mostly certainty had gained. Words of love,
birds singing up above and angels pinging on
the chords of my heart, the song of you my
love.

I won't spend another day shedding tears of
blue, I have something special, I have the love
of you. Nothing can replace it or make it go
away, because this love is so wonderful that
it is in my heart to stay.

Snowflakes

Snowflakes on the window,
dog barking at the door,
phone ringing and I am
daydreaming ,daydreaming
we are down by the shore.

Music playing I love you,
dreams cast of you and I,
rainbows falling from the
heavens and happiness
with you is no surprise.

Dance heart and soul
together, our spirits
bonded into one, there
is nothing I would rather
do than be with the one
I love.

~

Everlasting Love, it is the kind of magic that few will ever know,  a love that last forever, beyond what those on earth know. In your arms forever, in your heart forever plus a day, in the heavens where dreams are sent from the angels to those who dare to know. Everlasting love is something you rarely, eternal pleasure of sharing life beyond our every dream.


Felicitous dreams cast you to me and there in the darkness we dance like the angels spirit out at sea. Dance my love, your bodies next to mine , dance my love we are for all time. Nothing or no one can take your love from me, for you my darling are my everlasting dream. You my darling are burned into my memory.



Dance, Sweet Love Dance

Intricate steps lead my soul to yours
and there is where the embrace
bonds us like the ocean to the shore,
rocking like the waves and I still come
up holding you, as you are  the
grains of sand as each through my
heart sift through.

This is most unique, it is defined by the
heart,created of happiness, it is where
joy gets its spark.Love like ours was
always meant to be and those who
feel threatened are surely
 the devils seed.

I realized that I can never let you go,
you filtered through my heart and to
my soul you go. Dreams the catalyst
to bring your love to me and every
morning I wake up holding on to
what was always meant to me.

Sweet kisses both morning and night,
warm embraces that no true love
would dear to fight. I close my eyes
and I see you standing there and I
know this is awful special and there
is nothing to fear.
~

My heart of flesh,
 my spirit in the wind,
the dreams of love each
new day begin.

Songs of angels,
whispers out at sea and
there I wait to hold you
gently next to me.
~
Sings>I'm loving you... oh baby I'm loving you....there is something no one has ever seen, no one knows what you meant to me. This love of you and I gives means to the blue of sky,.  I'm loving you...oh baby I'm loving you.... there is something no one has ever seen, no one knows what you mean to me

~


La la ...la la ....laaaaaaa laaaaaaa I love you, oh yes I do, I love you with all my heart. La la...la la ...lalaaaaaaa. laaaaaaaaaa. I love you , oh yes I do, I love you with all my heart.


~
Sweet kisses from your lips to mine, a sweet reminder that sealed our love for all time. Wonderful embracing, to seal your soul to mine in an everlasting moment that stops the hands of time.



~

Christmas in our Hearts

Through your eyes I saw the child, the spirit that never fades and in your arms a love that is forever ingrained. Your kiss is more than sweet, so precious is it to me, like honey from the hive it drips of memories.  Rainbows on a darkened night, stars throughout the day, magical the moment when our flesh found its way.

It might be the twinkle seen in your eyes, it can decorate a Christmas tree with just one simple sigh.The joy like a holiday free floating in the air, Christmas in our heart three hundred and fifty six days a year. This gift is awful special, it is with me wherever I go, I hold it in my heart and to the world it shows. Love is awfully special and this I can't deny, that when I am your arms the world can pass us by.

We are a song in the making ,we are a dream that just came true, we are the souls of love that bonded under the blue.  In your arms I am ageless, in your heart I am seventeen, hands locked in hands seals all of my memories. Christmas is here, it is here in our hearts, like a fire forever burning, you lit a powerful spark.

~

Don't let go...falling through the clouds.

~

My Christmas Dreams

Sings>To wake up every morning and kiss you tenderly, walk side by side and bring to life the dreams. To  live each and every moment loving you like I do, capturing the first snowflake and dancing under the blue. 

Merry Christmas! My gift to you, is a dream a day come true, as I am loving you. Merry Christmas! This package just for you, close your eyes and let those images flow through.

Walks in the park, counting the stars at night, river talks and kisses  all by moonlight. Happiness all day and eternal bliss through the night, where lovers can be found heart and soul entwined. 

Merry Christmas! My gift to you, is a dream a day come true.,as I am loving you. Merry Christmas! This package just for you, close your eyes and let those images flow through.

Waking in your arms and my hands touch your cheek our lips gently meet. Holding you tight from morning through night and loving as I do each moment spent wit you. 

Merry Christmas! My gift to you, is a dream a day come true, as I am loving you. Merry Christmas! This package just for you, close your eyes and let those images flow through.

Your hand in mine as we stroll through all time, knowing that it is true and love fell from heavens blue. Day in day out all that I think about is spending it with you and making a dream a day come true... all I do is think about you and making a dream a day come true... making a dream a day come true.

~
Unique
It is not just another snowflake nor another dream, each one unique in bringing your love to me. It is not just another moment nor another breath, each one inscribed from heaven reminds me I am blessed. The Lord was gracious indeed he save the best for last, when he gave your love to me. It is not just another snowflake nor another dream, each one unique in bringing your love to me.

`
One flying squirrel and a bird in flight and the snowflakes blanket with a winter white. One smile and I am in a dream and all is as it seems, when I find myself waking up in your arms and the winter takes on its very own charm. Deer tracks and a winter chill and still your warmth is what I feel, when I find myself waking up in your arms and the winter takes on its very own charm.

~

One little kiss,so tender and kind, it tickled my heart and soul and mind. One little hug so wonderful and sweet a nice reminder what you to me. One little moment, a lifetime makes, when your beside me all the darkness fades.


~
Light Up the Fireplace

Go on and light up the fireplace, let the fire burn  and while it crackles and pops,you can stay here in my arms.I'll whisper I love you and you'll know it is true, that when your in my arms we'll have made all our dreams come true.

Go on and light up the fireplace, let the fire burn and while it crackles and pops, you can stay here in my arms. I'll hold you forever and I'll never let go, we'll make it eternal beyond the earth we know.

All I Want For Christmas Is You Vince Vance and the Valiants

... because one person dared to care.

As I prepare to retire for the night I lay here counting my blessings. One particular one is so filled with energy that it gives me hope, reason and love without expectation... Good Night

Autumn's Boutique: Past, Present, and Future

The Precious Threads of Life

When my children were experiencing or when I  had expectations I would always think back to when I was their age. It is amazing how much we know and what we dwell on or how we see the world. As kids we would say it doesn't take a Rocket Scientist to know what makes the world go around. We separate ourselves from the animals and all of nature and the universe itself by our ability to speak and comprehend as well as by our emotions and yet it does not alter our vulnerability to life itself. My mom would say that "everyone has a number "and no matter what we do, we can't interfere with fate. But what we do have the ability to do is direct our energy in a positive way while we are in this body, on this journey in this life time. My life has been an upheaval of emotion, some would say drama. You know that everyone has at least one good story, a journey, characters, experiences and a outcome that will become their legacy. If everyone understood that we are not responsible for other peoples actions only our  own and if everyone took responsibility for their own actions in a positive way, how much better the world would be.life is so precious from the moment we are born, to each breath we take, to each choice we make. We have been empowered with the ability to change the world and a life in the most miraculous way. I use to tell my children that they each had a very special gift and just because they haven't found that gift within themselves, doesn't mean they don't have it. Sometimes people go a lifetime on earth not realizing what their gift is and others seem born knowing.
We are separate and yet joined in unity and surrounded by the framework of a masterpiece. I thought about the tears and what they represented and it was obvious that they were the exteriors presentation of our most internal thoughts.We cry for many reasons for the silence of the soul, for the darkness that takes hold and sometimes for that which we cannot change. Just as many people will say they can see my heart through my eyes or smile, I can see hatred and evil in others. It makes you think from early on we are like a well programmed computer and our later actions are the reaction to what we absorbed throughout our many years on earth.
I have always had a problem wanting people to think like me. It is like you spend your life looking for that person who understands you, loves you for exactly who you are and views you completely from the inside. Love is so pure and so perfect that it can embrace in away that is warm and wonderful and healing. It reminds me of a set of books I read, where the young woman spends her life trying to find her people, where she belong or fits in. I don't think that the bond has to do with the exterior but more with the soul itself. I do think that there is a connection from one soul to another. It has been said that stories passed down even those which seem fiction based have some truth to them. Actions that go against the soul lead us down the wrong path and sometimes it takes a lifetime to redirect it and set it on the right road to our place in this world.

The Precious Threads of Life

It is true our time is limited from
the day that we are born and no
one lives forever in this body that
walks in its earthly form.

We know not where it leads us,
nor how long or far we shall go,
but we are aware that the clock
is ticking, always fast and never
slow.

So precious are the threads of
life in which we have the needle
to sew and a tapestry begins to
form and like the winds a story
flows.

Chapters of sorrow, a few of
despair, but I linger on the
positive pages, the ones
when you are here..

I don't quite understand it,
yet it is obvious to my mind,
that the moments when you
are with me, is when we
stop the hands of time.

The gift is in the moment,
free of struggles and of fear,
full of joy and magic is when
our love flows through the air.

An Autumn Adventure

It was our first adventure into Harrisburg and this is the tree we decorated with facial scrubs, soaps and miniature shopping bags. There were so many people and I can't remember the last time I saw so many vendors and people in one location. One step forward with the Autumn Skin Care and if nothing else it was great exposure. Though sixteen hours non stop for five days wasn't much fun and it only took two days to recuperate.
I sometimes think to myself why is it I am on this journey? and well it  is obvious I didn't choose it because it is easy, but never the less it is rewarding. In one instance the days were long and in another it went so very quickly. My handy dandy sales rep said you can view your heart through your smile for all to see. I sometimes wonder if that is good or bad. Because it is very difficult at times knowing what is guiding me my heart,my soul or my senses. I sometimes like to think all three, but that is to be seen. I am surfacing from the let down feeling from returning home and already scheduling for 2011. For those who have take the time to allow me in their life whether through the poetry or the skin care or on a personal note, I want to give my thanks  for taking a ride down the road of Autumn's Adventures.
As I look out the window at the bitter cold and the morning doves hovering over the feeder, it becomes a reminder of all that we have accomplished. The birds anxious to feed as the normal wild seed is not so easily attainable covered by snow. It is not always easy what life throws our way but like the birds that seek other sources for food we have found alternate ways to survive the seasons of life.
It seems like at this time of year more than ever I find myself reviewing the past. I don't believe I have understood everything or everyone that has crossed my path and find myself trying to analyze over an over again to find the moral or the lesson behind it all. Trying to balance my emotions and file them accordingly so as not to allow that which I really don't understand to interfere with my present goals. Marches forward...

My Gift

I always thought of holidays as looking through the eyes of a child. There was and is something magical about the holiday season. From Thanksgiving where you are sharing a warm and wonderful dinner to the sounds of carolers in the streets. I was especially fond of the city, lights and the magical mechanical store windows that came to life each holiday season.
The hills are prematurely covered with icicles and a dusting of snow blankets the hills to create a collage of emotion. Many visuals enter my mind and the simplicity of a shared moment surfaces. Life can be so trying and I think we are reprogrammed early in life to dream of a comfort zone. In all the images whether they are a snap crackling fire, a snow ball battle, hot chocolate, shopping, baking and gift wrapping they all include a companion, the comfort of another heart.
There are many situations that surface over a lifetime and each person finds their own way of surviving the less than perfect ones. I kind of giggled when yesterday a woman in Waynesburg said hey I know you, you are the soap lady. I knew by looking at her she had been crying and I said " is everything okay?" and she said that her mother in law with whom she was close with passed away one week since being diagnosed with Lung Cancer. She went on to say that being close to the holidays that it made it twice as difficult at they had already shopped for gifts and planned for the upcoming celebrations. I wished her well, she smiled and thanked me and went on her way. It just made me realize that each day people have their own personal battles, challenges and things to overcome.
I guess I have always been rather simple in thought and it didn't occur to me until my daughter asked for something for Christmas and I said oh I already bought your gift and I said " well tell me what you wanted anyway" She said " it doesn't really matter, what matters is that for a moment as you chose a gift you thought of me and that makes me happy" I thought to myself that they are children and surely not perfect but we have been through allot and that she is just one special kid.
Life and the positive experiences in life are created by the company we keep. I wiped tears as I began to look over the years and the particular ones that have warmed my heart. The heart shouldn't ache so much, love was meant to be and is the fuel that drives the soul.

Sharing a word and a smile or two,
living and loving like dreamers do.
Walking through life holding your
hand and embracing like lovers on
the sand.

The first snow flake that falls from the
sky, capturing each day as the seasons
 go by.Storing the memories of you and
I, the ones that make you mine.

~
Life is so perfect and only complicated
by the luggage we choose to carry.

~
There is no greater gift than love and
yet it is the gift most overlooked.
~
 I have held back the tears for so long, that I think I can now fill several buckets. Tears of sadness, heartache and despair mixed with a blend of tears of joy.
~

My Gift 

I give to you my heart
overflowing with tomorrows
dreams and wrapped
it up with faith to deliver
a gift of memories.

I placed within it trust,
and my love to make it
true an infused  it full of
desire to spend my life
with you.

Don't rain on my parade!

Sings>Every tear drop, like a drop of rain
comes with a reminder that life is insane.
Crazy moments and I had few but the nicer
ones are shared with you. Every tear drop,
like a drop of rain comes with a reminder
that life is insane.

Every blue sky, like the stormy gray moves
the emotions in a powerful way. Love and
laughter and a kiss or two and all I want to
do is dance my life with you.Every blue sky,
like a stormy gray moves the emotions in
a powerful way.

Every heart beat, like a drum on the roll,
comes from deep down in the soul.
Dreams, hopes and desire are the sparks
that keep a burning fire. Every heart beat,
like a drum on the roll, comes from deep
down in the soul.


Every song of a summer day, comes with
the chant of winters games . Warms the
heart and chills to the soul when you are
here with me. Every song of a summer day,
comes with the chant of winters games.

Every heart beat like the breath of spring,
brings your love to me.I can feel your love
in my heart tickled from the very start. Every
heart beat like the breath of spring brings your
love to me.

~

No more one step forward and one step back,
I burned the game of chutes and ladders and
reality is built on facts.

The journey comes in many shades and hues,
but I am painting my horizon in yellow with a
sunshine for me and you.


Listen to the music, feel the rhythm of song,
as the beat of your heart strings my soul
along.

We made it through the darkness,
we traveled through the storms and in the
parade of life I grasp for only sunny
shores.


Balancing on the devils stick, trying not to fall is some trick.
Cold and darkness, seeds of gray until I stumbled into your
 arms that day.

I can tell you amazingly so, the warmth of your arms made
my heart beat so, tender the sweetest kiss made of pure bliss.

Balancing on the devils stick, trying not to fall is some trick.
Cold and darkness, seeds of gray until I felt your arms bring
the sunshine my way.

I can tell you amazingly so, there was something special that
made the moment glow, might have been the warmth of
your soul as it always had this special hold.


Balancing on the devils stick, trying not to fall is some trick.
Cold and darkness, seeds of gray until I felt your arms bring
the sunshine my way.




 .

One Moment Frozen in Time

So quaint the gesture,
so gentle the touch,
the breath of an angel,
from a heart filled with
love.

The crossing of rivers,
through mountains high,
to journey the heavens
to be by your side.

~

Your soft spoken soul fills my heart with song.

Sixteen... definitely sixteen!

I am in the middle of a swirl of emotions, holds to the positive that guides me to your arms.

~