I am not at all convinced of an early spring .Even though the hills have already revealed spring time growth and the first blooms of crocus already have broken free of the soil. The color of grayness of a partially dormant season is now taking on bits of varied shades of green . The sun remarkably brightens the day and yet I still feel the arms of winter in the shadows of the hollow. Is this pure trickery or just another reprieve from winter? Maybe as a person who loves to garden, I can recall snowfalls in April and frozen fruit blossoms in May.
Before I was able to fully take in the day, the sun had begun to set and the darkness reigned. I looked off into the passing sunset and I thought of the roads we travel. I clearly understood the path we are on and why we chose at different times opposite roads in our travels. There seem to be no proof positive answers for our particular journeys. It really had little do with timing or children, something else was a driving force in our short time on earth. I thought it might be that I just tried to read to much into every thing that happens. There is a dusty crystal ball that sits above my desk with several other mementos. I remember wanting so much to know what the future holds and when I look into it the only thing it reveals is images of the past. It is possible that our past experience lead us to the future. Sometimes it adds to our character, weaving threads of caution, knots of wisdom and even a few redirected thoughts.
I know that at different times of my life, I would have handled the many situations that arise very differently. I guess circumstances as well as our own generated thought process dictates how we respond. I would have at one time ran, where I now walk, jump where I now stand, cried where I now laugh. I was looking through my jewelry box and I came across a charm bracelet that I have had since I was thirteen. My first charm was a poodle that I had gotten with the bracelet it represented prim and proper and at sixteen my outstanding student of the year charm. As I let charms slide through my fingers the few milestones from teens, to wife and mother jarred memories. From visiting Sea world with my brother and his wife, to graduation, wedding, honey moon and children. I laughed as a mere piece of metal became a marker in time. It seems kind of trivial to document a life with a bracelet. When all is said and done, would any of it have meaning or matter to anyone else? You can't help but wonder if your life makes any difference in a world that seems to be hell bent on self destruction.
Sometimes life just comes down to a simple ant hill. I don't know why I think of the human race as ants, other than that we are so minute in the scheme of things and we can so easily be squashed out. In all reality I am not sure if our actions will spawn a more positive reaction. I am sure that if the heart and soul matter, than I have succeeded in documenting love in whatever sense in whatever format forever love can exist.
We cannot change that which is already written...
Another breath of air, a new day begun,
grateful am I as I feel the arms of love.~
The words belong to eternity,
my love to your heart.
Rejoice! for in the realm where
love is the only embrace, we
have achieved the magic
The tears that fall are for
that which will never be.
One cannot measure love,
for it is the warmth of the sun
and the feel of the wind against your cheek.
When I leave this earth,
remember that I will never leave your heart.