The wind talking, rustled up the leaves, documented our story, recorded memories. Elm and Sycamore battle for the sky as their branches dance with the wind creating shadows in the sky. The last of October is now on display, toying with the mountains, the colors begin to fade. The season is passing with hello and goodbye, preparing us for winter through the chapters of our mind.
As time progresses and love grows, the truth becomes eminent.We are passing the stations of our life where there is no separation between the earth and the heavens.I can feel your love embrace my spirit as it pulls close my earthly form and merges one to one, soul to soul.
I was taken back by the dates of when I first decided to validate my love. It wasn't a response that I needed, it was acknowledging that my love was real. My thoughts, dream and aspirations for the future did indeed exist. Looking through the archives there was an amazing amount of emotion that flowed by means of the written word. Validation became merely proof of my experiences and the freedom of my thoughts.
It was a little more than six years ago that I felt physical pain to my hands. I had limited access to the world and my hands and wrist could barely type. The computer which was the only real window to the world that I had gave me an insight to people and experiences that I never knew could exist. It was the stubborn streak in me that encouraged me to find access, whether that was making the fourteen mile trip on a bicycle to the library. From the library I would send emails, I wrote the letters and I never received a letter in return. In the email there was a copy of each letter and I reread over the years my own thoughts, it became a sort of self analysis.Through my own words I gathered knowledge which led to a certain amount of strength. The days that would proceed were filled with many horrid memories and some awfully beautiful ones. I felt lost and yet a sense of struggle as I tried to surface and find my place in a world that I myself didn't recognize.
Time, in some ways it has flown by and I wonder where this path is taking me and why life was revealing itself to me in such a way. So much has happened, from realizing I had an ability to reach people to discovering that anything is possible. There were trials and triumphs, from gaining transportation, to creating companies, writing and doing the unimaginable. When I think about exactly how writing fit into all this, I had to remember exactly where I was at that moment emotionally. My daughter at my bedside, a candle lit and a pencil and paper. I was able to not only validate my emotions but escape through the written a word to the world of my choice. Writing in a sense became my world as if I spoke to the darkness and darkness replied with light.
Lately I have read various blogs and many themes, from those who suffer from medical illness to stories of survival and others that are bent on educating. Reading through my own archives I saw that this validation was and is my heavenly escape. The documentation of heart felt emotions, the exploration of love through the soul and the magic that the words bring to life, create a warm and wonderful place within the clouds.
Some people ask " do you have to suffer to appreciate and understand the beauty of life?" I would imagine that who I am has evolved due to circumstances and the situations that I had surfaced from. I don't believe that means I wouldn't have identified love when it came by, but I surely know what it was I hadn't experienced, so what was revealed throughout the journey became an enlightenment that warmed the soul.
I think about what differences can I make in this world?, what can I leave behind that will alter the way people think?Looking over the various causes that the civic group works to provide funds and education for, I saw there was great need in many areas and that I enjoy reaching out in ways to help and make a difference,but as love would have us believe, the joy of life is given at birth and only disrupted by man's own greed and selfishness.
As I continue to write on prose I sense a certain amount of serenity which creates a calm within my spirit. I find that I am continuously amazed at the journey and where tomorrow takes me. Once I remembered every name and every face of every person who hung my words in their home, now the faces and names have melded into a collage like visual. That any one person finds joy and the love within the words, totally amazes me. That they care enough to read them daily mind boggles me, that they decorate their homes with it truly brings a sense of peace to the soul Incredible as it is each step on the journey brings lessons of love, life and happiness, a happiness that I had never known existed. The simplicity of gesture as simple as catching a snowflake with your tongue, enjoying each moment that we have and celebrating all the life has to offer.
Who am I? I am just me, a woman walking through an incredibly amazing journey with the most unique characters. Why am I here? To celebrate all that life has to offer. Where am I going? With you my friend the destination is not as important as the companionship we keep as we travel. Why do I write? To Validate my love.
...it feels so right, how could it not? It is love!
Friday, December 30, 2005
It's not that I need you to feel complete, I know I can stand on my own two feet. Nor a partner of need I plea, It's the walk side by side that compliments me. I don't request that you need to deliver, because from the onset my heart start to quiver.
Love is not challenged by how much one can give,
it's weighed by how deeply you're touched from within.
I felt it as it brushed gentle to the soul and I held it in my heart where it bound and took a hold. I saw it in the morning before my eyes awake and then again in the evening where it shook me like a quake. A duo with the nightingale a song I did hear, the words that broke the silence were simply that you care.
More precious then any treasure royalty could hold, more valuable then that of the most highly prized gold . Heavier then a mountain , lighter then the breeze , warmer then the sunshine and more beautiful then any dream. You can float it on the river, and hold it in your heart and when you close your eyes at night you can see it in the dark.It can comfort a distressed baby , wipe the tears from a broken heart , it can halt raging waters and cause a fire to spark. It can knot a field of flowers and at your feet a bouquet lay and when distressed and overwhelmed allow the child to play.