When I woke early this morning to do the farmers market, I quickly went to wake my daughter. To my surprise my daughter nor her girlfriend were in her bedroom. All kinds of thoughts raced through my mind as I ran frantic through the house to find out where they were. Finally they were found sleeping on the pool deck and I felt as if my energy had been zapped. I quickly gave them reminders that they are to leave a note on the table and let me know if they are sleeping outdoors. From that point on I spent the day trying to wind down from the rush of adrenaline that raced through my body. It was a hot summer day and I couldn't wait to get home and relax. As I made dinner it all seemed to come together. It was something that the farmer Homer said to me at the market that reminded me of how unimportant all the stressing is and the worry. He said" the day we are born we are given a beginning and a end date, we just don't know when it is" I have been battling to make so many changes in my life and yet the most important change was in the accepting of my own inner self. Who am I? I imagine we are many things to many people, but who we are as we our self acknowledge is most important. I feel a strange sense of calm as I accept my place in my own journey. All that happened was meant to happen to complete the full experience. In exploring my own emotions I was able to expand on my unique purpose in life.
Gathering a few wild plants I spent sometime identifying them, it always feels rather natural, plants and life. I am almost certain one goes hand in hand with the other. This one particular plant always grew down at the reservoir and its purpose known by the Native Americans as they were some of the first to explore the value of the North American wild plants and yet to me it was a rediscovery of natures treasure chest.
I am not sure what erased the restlessness within me. Maybe it was a bit of responsibility for self in that the road in which we follow has already been put in place and it is up to each of us to choose to follow or not.
We have written the words of love,
like stars within the sky and when
our time on earth has passed,
our love eternal will reside.
... it brushes up against my soul with the reminder of our love.