Each and Everyday

Spring time flowers come and go,
taking with them the memories 
you and I have sowed. 


Sunshine warm against the face, 
a reminder of the love we share
each and everyday. 
~
I was glancing through some books and papers that my father had held on to, which were either given as a gift or a project from me to him from my early school days. I thought that poetry was really a recent adventure of mine over the last ten years. I continued to look through the yellowed papers and I realized that I had always had a love for poetry and that I obviously was drawn to various poets.
There was a reference that I changed or was changing and to that my sister said" she is just getting the opportunity to be who she always was" It didn't occur to me that time and place allows for growth. I was so busy wanting to believe everyone else was responsible  for my own self awareness. I looked around and the house revealed my own strengths and weaknesses. No one is at fault for my own mistakes, I alone allowed the curtains on life to remain closed. It wasn't necessary about learning who I was or exploring another part of myself, it was acknowledging the various aspects of my own personality. In away I was spending my life looking for acceptance, when I had yet to understand and accept myself.
My mother always said "that if you think you have it bad someone else has it worse"I never liked that phrase but as I gave it more thought, I realized it had nothing to do with how bad a situation is , but more importantly how we respond to life and confront that which we think are tragic situations.
I picked up a piece of jewelry that was given to me at one of the trade shows. Unique in its setting the personality of the individual could be seen reflected in the piece. I held the pearls to my cheek and the coldness of them flashed a memory. I had this awful ability of making a moment be a forever and a few weeks everlasting. I failed to place each happening in context to the lesson that was being taught at that time. It made me think of when you here someone say that"you can endure your own pain more than if someone else was causing the pain. " I guess that is like being our own worst enemy.
Knowing when to say goodbye is as important as knowing when to say hello. My bedroom has aura reminiscent of my own dysfunction. I was not dealing with my own situation or maybe I was by not dealing with it. I passed control in an obscure fashion as I was clearly expressing myself. Draws the drapes open, allows the sun shine in, doesn't run, doesn't hide but glances in the mirror and likes what is looking back.

Sweet and soft,
don't stand still,
rising high ventures
over the hills.

Kissed your lips,
held your hand,
felt your heart beat,
met the souls demands.