The Art of Appreciation
I believe that there are many things that we do that is human nature and sometimes it might be the natural thing for a man to generally look at other women. Though I do believe it is the greatest of insult to stare at other women when you are out with the one you deem to love. As important as it to be at your best, that can go across the board as we should try to be our best for each other. Is it my ego talking, when I say want his eyes to be on me and only me? It is a compliment to a woman when a man makes her the center of his attention? I thought about that today, about loving and what it is we want out of that loving relationship. I have always enjoyed being a woman, being treated like a woman. I love the feel of silk stalkings against my thighs and I enjoy fussing to look the best I can.
There is nothing wrong with wanting to be loved. When it comes down to it, if the person who you admire the most and promise to love doesn't have the center of your attention, than maybe you have not quite explored the depth of in love. From the magic of a sweet kiss, the warmth of an embrace, to the gentleness of touch, that is the beauty of loving.
I have been through a full range of emotions this week.Some were simply to understand what it is I need and what it I want so my emotions were stable and I was a little more confident. I want to feel the gentleness of your touch, the pleasure of your company and the joy each day that I experience with loving you.
Another storm is passing by and I feel detached from my surroundings. Almost as if I am part of the passing storm. Troubled spirits all around as if they know what is coming down. Emotions powerful and creative and strong no exactly where I belong. The script already written refuses to say what tomorrow will bring our way. I was leery and a bit afraid, but I will accept the dawn of day. Love is to good to let it go and so to you like the wind I blow, a kiss from the hollow beyond the mountains high through the airways and the clouds in the sky. From my heart through the heavens blue, I'll be sending all my love to you.
I do not like the power of emotions for they reveal
the truth at a depth I am not ready to accept.
I woke to the darkness and I knew not hour nor day and I listened as the thunder storm rumbled in a most haunting kind of way. The bed surrounded by netting danced with the wind and though I felt a distance, I also felt your love deep within. My eyes indeed adjusted and still I could not see as the barriers of life battled to distance your soul from me. I felt an internal struggle, an ache from heart to soul that caused the flow of tears, of which I tried but could not hold. Raindrops against the window, teardrops against the soul as there is no dividing the darkness that refuses to allow the happiness to unfold. I tossed about without direction,restless as can be as I tried in desperation to set our spirits free. No movement from my lips, no voice of the mind, the sounds that surfaced above the storms was of the heart which cried out to make you forever mine. Hovering is the darkness, no sunlight to be found, for the seed of misdirection planted my soul to the ground.
The plan is greater than I... ~
It is by nature we seek a large, strong tree in a storm,
might be why your arms feel so comforting.
I wanted to stay indefinitely in the same chapter,
but what would appear to be eternal happiness would be death.
I never liked the darkness,
I miss the light of your laughter.
I am teetering on a limbo, bordering heaven and hell as I have chanced to feel your love and yet I'm caught in the devils spell. Close as the clouds to the heavens blue and as far as a dragon to the stories only reality allows through. Lost as if trapped in the great abyss, where I spend each moment dwelling on what it is I miss. ~
I've looked back on life at the major decisions and how they carved a path, thus creating a tour of the so called journey. Sometimes we are forced out of necessity or survival and than there is the choices that are truly what the soul deems to be. I wouldn't say that I am really a believer of the traditional and yet I have taken the steps that fall into societal norms. Obviously this was neither the heart or soul speaking and so in a troubled way I ask did I make a choice or was it my weakness that I allowed others to make a choice for me? It is incredible the flow of emotions that surface from deep within, most of it teeters on what feels right in the heart, soul and mind. I thought of the void inside and the neediness to always be reminded that I am loved. My spirit is troubled and the ache overwhelming. There is truth to the statement...the more I have of you, the more I want of you. For you breathe life into my soul and comfort through the heart as you ease the troubled mind. With you I step beyond survival into the joy of living, without you I am immersed in my own hell.