Weep Not Heart

It might be that winter is just a little to long or to much time on my hands. I could be doing an awful lot of things and yet I find today to be especially a battle. I have always believed that I lived my life with no regrets, it is not like you change the past anyway. Yet I find myself looking back and wondering if... "If "how can such a little word be filled with so much? I had wondered how life would have been like today had I met that someone in my earlier years who understood the value of love on a equal level. I felt troubled as I saw myself standing at the crossroads and wanting so badly to know which road to take. There is not a very distinctive difference between what  the heart says and the will of my own soul and still I did not follow through with what I knew was my destiny. Did I deserve the darkness that surrounded me? Had it all to do with my choices? Sometimes I think responsibility is equal to guilt and that in it self ways heavily on the spirit. Call it a conscience that inner guide that tells you what is right or wrong. Sometimes that conscience is the cross road in it self, for what is right for one person maybe wrong for another. So I decided that this moment would be dedicated to the moment in time when all felt right within my spirit. 

I opened the door and I walked outside and there was something different I felt from inside. My spirit was free with no reason or rhyme and surely there was no mountain to high to climb. Something had happened no toying with the mind it was okay to let out the person inside. I laughed to a giggle, I was simply just me and the road that I was not of a dream. I looked over the ravine, no fear and no shame and I gathered the strength to that moment lay claim. I knew when it happened and that is the pain, when first the soul soars and than falls covered in chains. I wanted to deny, but I knew it was true, when the stars fell from the heaven and I became with the blue. Confusion and madness another plan laid but it was not of my doing the hell that won't fade. I ran and I ran as fast I could and I tried to hold on if only I could. Time the keeper with a reminder of sort through the journey of life this is a time to abort. What was the reasoning, where it did lead, was it my heart that set out to tease? The path like a thicket of rambling brush, tried to get through but it seemed like a fuss. I tried to circle around take a new path, but the darkness was gaining way to fast.

I know the heart always knows the truth 

and when you refuse to listen that is 

when you have everything to lose. 

~

If tears could erase all sadness 

 than happiness we'll find was always there waiting to bring you to myside.

If you intentionally set out to hurt a person 

you cannot possibly understand the value of love.

~

Survival is when you can reach inside yourself and find 

that person you didn't even know existed. 

~

 Truth is when you learn to  be  responsible to yourself. 

~

I wish to forget... but it is never that easy.

~

When the well is frozen 

I feel a chill in my soul.

~

Strength is when you don't need to lean

but it is awfully lonely.