I so fully understand the steps of childhood from crawling, toddling, walking to running. Somewhere in my own steps on an evolutionary scale, I went from toddling to leaning on crutches. There is a part of me that is still the little girl who wanted to see over the horizon. In many ways I was networked into my parents web and than without stopping to get my breath and find my way caught in the mist of another's journey. When I looked back at the people from my childhood it made even more clearer that I walked a path that was quite unique to me. As a child I created my own world where I could escape when necessary, as an adult another web was laid and the trap tightened as time went on.
In my renewed confidence I had to understand and direct my energy in a positive nature as to once more escape what appeared out of my control.What had drawn the curtains open and revealed the light? I can't really quite say, though self acceptance does play a big part. I may not have made a specific new years resolution this year, but it is more of living out a concept, one where the crutch that I so used as a child was tossed away. I had to really take a deep breath and look at those around me, the experiences that I surfaced from and redirect my spirit. What was lost and what is gained and what did the lessons of life reveal? Again the response was I cannot be responsible for the actions of others, only my own. There begins another page in the chapters of life.
I do not look back fondly on the games that people play,nor do I completely understand the void that simply will not fade.The path like that of wild rose makes it difficult to see but once beyond the brier the revelation is like a clear day out at sea.
I had to place accordingly my reactions to the day, when I let my heart lead my soul and send it astray. First there was confusion and I knew not what to say as laughter turned to tears and the darkness made it's way.
But this day is awfully different and this much I can say, that character is revealed when skies are dark and gray. Love is very special and in the most amazing way it removes the thorns embedded by the memories of our yesterdays.