I was lying down listing to music and this song came on. It was my very first dance, I was fourteen and I didn't know the boy who asked me to dance. The all girls school that I attended went to the dances on Friday night at the all boys school. It was a monumental first. I vaguely remember him, he awkwardly walked up to me and asked if he could have this dance. I laugh as I think about actually putting the box step into action. I don't really recall anything particularly special about him nor how he looked or anything such as clothing of course all the boys had on dress pants and a tie. We weren't allowed to close or it would be brought to our attention and so a dance that last maybe two minutes finds its place forever in your memories. I never saw him again after that first dance and I don't remember his first name but his last name seems seared to my memory. We didn't talk for that dance and yet I remember clearly the song that played and that I was really way to young to understand the interaction between the opposite sex. A few short years later I would come to understand the power of hormones and how they cloud all thoughts and limit the postive judgment process.
I use to think that it was important to establish a healthy medium that you had to leave the past behind and move forward. But I have come to learn that it is crucial to accept the experiences as part of our whole being. It is the building blocks of character. Sometimes I wanted to forget the not so pleasant memories but they to are lessons of life that are equally as important as the positive ones. I think our personalities are complex and to deny any part of it, would make us less than complete. I continued to type as my mind scattered like seeds in the wind flew in different directions. The person I am today is formed by the experiences and the achievements that currently placed me on a new road.
Sometimes I find it all very confusing,because I believe my needs are very simple.So before I snuggle up to my pillow I will gather the fondest of memories and allow them to blanket like the warm summer rays and the images of love that I have hungered for such a very long time. Taking a deep breath and slowly exhaling, I begin a short journey through the memories of life.
The river seems wide and the bridges long and I sit by the rocky shore and watch the fish jumping really high . Running and playing, catching a grasshopper or two, just to watch them spit tobacco chew.Some nights were lonely and I thought that I should hide, to see if anyone had me on their mind. From five to ten and I see the world again and this time it takes on a different view as I see the sky in a new kind of blue The years were long and the roads sometimes sorrow paved, except for the one that led you to me, that is truly my fave. The stars have not shifted the moon still controls the night, there is sunshine every morning and happiness in sight. Love gets better and better everyday, as it lives within my heart and leads me your way. Dreams are but the tools of my sou as they know the importance of your most precious hold.
I love you.... with all my being.
1 comment:
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